Rabbit hearts
by Sunburnsfromhell
Summary: Kagura hated many things. Her brother was one of them and her weakness was another. Still, she was no weakling but her brother could almost convince her of anything at this point. The ugly truth couldn't be hidden for long. She is far more similar to Kamui than she first realised and that kept her up at night. But what can she do when she is in desperate need of his help?
1. prolouge

**Rabbit Hearts**

Prologue

Kaguras Pov:

Kagura couldn't control the very thing that defined her, the thing that ties her to her ancestors, her mother and father... and her brother. That damaging mark, permanently tattooed into her veins. She could still taste it on her tongue, metallic like blood but sweet like sugar. She could spend a lifetime tasting that for it was way more addicting than any other drug in the entire universe. It is horrible and she herself is horrible. That horror never left her alone, constantly dwelling in the back of her head like it somehow belonged there. She could never rest, knowing that she was fully capable of turning her fists towards her loved ones. It was a curse.

Her yato blood, her will to fight, it flowed through her veins and filled her lungs with a grazed and shrieking laughter. It's madness. Ever since yoshiwara (which had been about six days ago), everything had slowly but surely gone down the drain. She laid awake most nights, fearing the very thought of sleep. For she knew, if she did somehow fall asleep, it would probably not a be a peaceful slumber. Nightmares plagued her mind, causing chaos left from right. They were always the same. She would see herself, eyes wide and lips fashioned into a manic grin. Her pupils were wide and dilated. Whenever she blinked, a new constellation of blood smeared itself onto her lashes. Her face was completely stained with the red fluid, dripping down her chin and staining her teeth.

The laugh that came through her lips was shrill and raw like broken bells. She could hear as well as feel the assault of fast and irregular heartbeats. It pounded away in her eardrums and caused her ribcage quake. Adrenaline guided her every move and she was a slave to her instincts. So as the slave she was, she fought, killed and butchered everyone and everything around her. Tearing apart anything that stood in her path. All reason had left her and in those dreams she didn't care if she killed her loved ones. She carved herself a path of blood and broken bones, leading to the only one who could keep up with her.

Her hands reached out, trying to catch a long vermillion braid, though it always slipped through her fingers like grains of sand. Like air, like nothingness. She was once again left behind, too far away… not enough. Not good enough, not fast enough... not strong enough. When she woke up, tears clouded her eyes and a horrid shriek clawed its way out of her throat. In those dreams… which almost felt like a reality, she had been a slave to the sensation, to the lust, to the ecstasy.

She had vowed to never become a mindless killer like Kamui. She wanted to choose her own battles. However night by night and day by day, it became increasingly harder to keep that promise. Ever since she had given in to her yato blood in yoshiwara, her attempts to keep it from resurfacing again began to fail one after another. It was painful. Maybe this is what happens when you've kept it chained down and locked away for the majority of your life. Once you let it loose, it goes on a rampage and you can't even remember how you've kept it at bay before. It's… next to impossible.

"Maybe this is what you deserve," a voice hissed at her in the dark.

It took a moment for her to recognise it as her own. Blinking rapidly and shaking her head furiously, she managed to convince her troubled mind that blaming herself for this was pointless… even if it really was her own fault. Kagura looked over at the clock, it's digital numbers glowed green in the dark. 2:45 they read. She wasn't tired which was a true blessing. She doubted she could even fall asleep right now anyway.

Late nights are for pondering over old mistakes and so that was exactly what she did. Only her mistakes didn't feel so old and they all morphed into the form of her brother. Her yato instincts screamed out for him, yearning to feel his skin beneath her fingers and his blood on her lips. His perfect face… His face was a peculiar one, at least to her.

She had always believed him to look much like herself but that was back in the day when they were mere children and she was young and naive. As she matured over the years, their differences became many and strikingly clear. His eyes had always been a bit darker, his smile a bit sharper, she really did not think much of it when she was young. She really should have. Now, as age had done it's job on him, his fine features stood out to her. A strong jaw, sharp cheekbones and thin, lean lips. He was a morphed structure of both their father and mother and Kagura could see more of herself in his pale face than she was willing to admit.

"Kamui… what do I do now?" she whispered out to the silence.

A small, broken whisper, repeating the words she'd said many times before, during the rainy days when she'd been small and cold and sad. She had looked up to Kamui like he was a god, all of her love in a physical form. Merely because he was and still is taller than her but also because she relied on him. Only on him. After all, mommy always stayed in bed and papi rarely came home. He was her only friend, adored companion and protector. She looked to him for answers, for comfort and unyielding support. Which of course, blinded her in turn. She simply loved him and that's why it hurt so much when he crushed that love in the palm of his hand.

He was 12 when he left her… that would make him 22 now, if she did her math correctly. She hated him for abandoning her and she still does, only nowadays, it had slightly diminished into a hurtful throbbing instead of a choking sorrow. Her aching sense of loss never left her and she highly doubt it ever will, however it has been overshadowed by a burning fury. Nothing would improve, especially not after the clusterfuck that was yoshiwara. Kagura had wanted to fight him, to make him hurt somehow and well… she kind of succeeded. She only hoped it would have been different.

Over the years she'd been replaying the moment they would meet again, over and over again. Anxiously anticipating it. She had it planned out, what she would say, how she would act. She didn't even entertain the possibility that she may never see him again... too afraid to accept it as an outcome. In the end, she did meet him and her carefully crafted plan had gone out the window the second her eyes met his. She didn't really have the time to act either… but even if she did, she's not sure she would have followed her plan. The uncontrolled Yato blood in her only made it less likely, which was proven later on.

She lost control when she fought Abuto and practically wiped the floor with him, destroying everything in the process. The reason for her first outburst had been the cries of pain from Shinpachi. After that she had done her best to suppress it, frightened by the beast that she knew she could turn into. But… somehow, she became dispatched from herself, helplessly overwhelmed with emotions. They blinded her vision with a crimson hue, red like her bleeding heart. The only thing she could focus on was Kamui, standing on that roof with his twisted smile and way too sharp teeth. That had been the beginning of a disaster.

She rushed to fight him, to make him feel the pain she'd felt. She wanted to prove him wrong, to show him just how strong she can be, how worthy she can be. She tried to prove herself without the bloodthirsty gift her Yato instincts offered her. How stupid of her to think she could actually choose. It took her anyway, forcing its way through her nervous system and entering her bloodstream. It surprised her with the intensity, so different from the last time. It was special, stronger, more sickening. And she couldn't fight it, she just couldn't. It washed over her, clouding her mind in a thick fog of bloodlust and unnerving excitement. Fighting with Abuto, she'd felt like a rabid beast… but fighting with Kamui, she'd felt like a raging monster.

Even if she did in fact "lose" to him, the expression on his face was almost worth it. His eyes were wide open with bewilderment and a ferocious grin marred his his beautiful face. He was shocked to say the least and Kagura couldn't help but bask in his undivided attention. Finally, she had his acknowledgment, his awe. She loved every second of it and in that moment she didn't see anyone else but him. Sadly. When the spell was finally broken by none other than Kamui himself, it came back to her like a tidal wave.

She could see broken things around her and the stares she got from the onlookers cut her in half, like butter. On the roof of yoshiwara, she laid there, motionless and just staring. Refusing to believe her own eyes, she tried to look away, to somehow dissolve into nothing. It was hard and she couldn't help but flinch as Kamui turned her head around, though she was grateful because she didn't have the strength to turn around herself. The sun lit up his hair, making it stand around him like a bright, bleeding halo, illuminating his snowy skin in a pearly glow. She realised two facts that day as she laid broken and bruised under her brothers heavy gaze. The revelations were as clear as his blue eyes. They hung over her like an ominous cloud of horror and sadness, out there for everyone to see.

One: she is now a monster, just like Kamui and exactly everyone could testify to that. Two: she is also a lost girl of sixteen summers who only wanted drown in her brothers arms... the one she thought she knew. Kagura could still remember the tears that burned her cheeks like it was yesterday. The ghost-like touch of Kamui's rough thumb on her lips was the last thing she felt before losing consciousness. He had probably said something but she never heard it. Now she only felt shame and she couldn't possibly forgive herself. She couldn't stand the way everyone looked at her after that. She probably won't ever forgive herself for losing control like that again.

If Kagura wanted to protect her family, she first needed to learn how to protect them from herself. Is she doomed to lose her mind every time she sees her brother now? The young Yato needed something to distract her from her scarring thoughts. The digital clock was that distraction. Looking back at the clock, she starts rethinking about staying in bed. Now would be the perfect time to train. She didn't have to worry about someone getting hurt since no one in their right mind would be up at this ungodly hour. Much less in the woods. Kagura really needed to get stronger, she needed to establish control over her yato instincts. Even if it sometimes feels hopeless.

Making up her mind, she slowly slid the closet door open and peeked out. She was shocked to see that the lights were on. Gin lazed around on the couch, dutifully committed to his jump. She could clearly hear a crunching noise from the chips he was eating and kagura rolled her eyes. Why was that idiot even awake? As quiet as humanly possible, she closed the door again and flopped down on her pillow. For some reason, confrontation with other people right now was incredible off-putting.

It's not like Gin would let her go out for a "walk" in the middle of the night as well. It wasn't hard to see that he had been worried about her ever since yoshiwara. Not only him but Shinpachi and the others as well. It's so obvious that they seemed to look at her in a different light… Something wet trailed down her chin and she choked on the lump in her throat. Kagura quickly wiped away the lone teardrop and took out her iPod from the small space at the foot of the closet. It was like a thin shelf where she kept some of her belongings. Plugging in a pair of worn out headphones, she started to blast some melodic notes in her ears.

True faith by New order filled up her ears with a blinding noise. The tunes and vocals entertained her cloudy mind to the point where she couldn't focus on anything else but the sound. It drowned out the world and she gently spaced out, floating away to faraway places. A warm, safe place with twinkling stars and colourful meteorites. A place with shimmering planets, floating around like globes of ice and glass. A galaxy painted in the shades of green. Here, there were no hints of sapphire eyes or bloody smiles, as far as the eye could see. She knew better than to fall asleep… yet somehow, the sandman creeped up on her with ease and dragged her down into a deep slumber. Kagura fell blindly into comatose.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter one**

Flashbacks of red locks and blue eyes

Kaguras Pov:

The ear-screaming racket guided their way. Kagura and Shinpachi bolted down the corridors, ready to meet up with their white haired companion. They had just aided in the unveiling of Yoshiwara and the metal roof was no more. The sky could now be seen for the first time in many, many years. Kagura knew that yatos that stayed in the shadows for a good portion of their lives were way more vulnerable to sunlight than normal. Now with the sun at their side, they had practically dethroned Housen… well it won't be that easy. From the commotion they'd both heard and from what Seita had told them, Housen was fighting many enemies at once, one of them being Gin-chan. Kagura made a grimace and she bit her lip in worry. She believed in her friend but if he was up against someone like Housen, then it was a true blessing to know that he wasn't fighting him alone.

"Kagura-chan! Look!"

She stopped in her tracks, chest heaving and face drenched in sweat. She looked over to Shinpachi to see him standing in front of a window.

"Come here quick," he said again, pointing at the scene outside.

Blowing a red lock out of her eyes, she walked over to his side.

"What?" she asked, a bit curious at his seriousness.

Shinpachi just moved over so she could see for herself. Peeking out of window she took in the scene with gasp and widened eyes.

"I… I think we won," she could hear him say at her side, a shocking disbelief in his voice that matched her own.

On the green roof before her laid an enormous man, beaten up and bleeding. His head was resting in the lap of a dark haired lady. Kagura didn't know who she was but the scene had her eyebrows creased. She had a feeling that she was very important.

The roof laid in broken pieces along the man's body and could be traced back to building. Big chunks of wood could be seen littered around the body, suggesting that he was thrown out through the wall. They couldn't see beyond that since the window wasn't that big but that wasn't important. What's important right now is to make sure that everyone still remains in one piece. There was no mistaking the man's identity. He could be no other than Housen himself. The yato laid there, his skin rotting away in the sunlight. This means that they had won… it was over!

"Holy shit, we truly did it!" she burst out, grinning from ear to ear. "Cherry boy, move!"

She raised her purple parasol and backed away from the small window.

Shinpachi managed to utter an outrageous: "What the-", before he got caught up in the blast her umbrella fired. The explosion caused the wall to shatter like glass and poor Shinpachi flew out through the freshly made hole like a lost napkin caught up in the wind. She gleefully jumped after him, disappearing through a cloud of smoke and splinters.

Shinpachi landed on his back with a yell whilst kagura landed gracefully on her knees. 'Not bad for a girl with high heels' she mentally complimented herself. Rising to her feet, she glanced over to Shinpachi's grumbling form. He sat up and rubbed his back, cheeks red from anger.

"That was horrible! What the hell was that for, huh?!" he yelled at her, sounding ridiculously girlish.

She merely rolled her eyes and turned her head away nonchalantly. "I told ya to move didn't i?"

"You didn't even give me a chance!" he complained back, stumbling to his feet.

Kagura stubbornly tuned out his high-pitched voice and took in their surroundings. Several people stood before them, in the centre of the ruined wall where Housen himself had flown through. Tsukuyo and the Hyakka were there as well as Gin-chan. They all looked like they've been through a train wreck but Gin-chan looked way worse than that. He reminded her more of a walking corpse then anything else. Shinpachi who had just gotten over his embarrassing entrance, took in the disaster in front of him as well and quickly ran up to Gin-chan. Kagura was about to bolt after him when something stopped her. Something she wished would go away but at the same time stay with her forever. Her senses tingled and it made her lips quiver. She could feel a pair of eyes burning into her neck and air around her felt different. More suffocating... more tense. She turned her head slightly to the right and her knees felt weak from the sight... She should have been prepared though, she knew who it'd been all along.

Just like on that pipe when she'd last seen him, time seemed to stop and ever so slowly, feelings she'd only ever associated with him, started to eat away at her whole being. She wasn't attacked now, unlike the last time and so she actually had time to feel every emotion that assaulted her. It almost made her wish that he would strike her down now and force her to think of survival instead. He did no such thing though. Her older brother, Kamui trapped her in his gaze, not letting her look away from his sea blue eyes. His deceptive smile inflamed her body, caging it between it's beastly fangs.

Kagura was once again shocked beyond measure to see him, even though she really should've seen it coming at this point. A bile rose in her throat and she was torn. Way to often had she imagined this moment, playing out all sorts of possible scenarios in her head but when it really came down to it… she was lost. Everything seemed too abstract and it's like logic itself left her behind. She could do nothing more than to just stand there and take it all in.

It was hard to identify what exactly it was that she was feeling. Relief, anger, sadness… longing? They confused her more then anything and in that moment something cracked inside of her. Her heart ached so much she thought it may collapse, taking her reason with it. She predicted it and the sensation made her hands quiver.

"Kamui," she forced out between painfully clenched teeth.

Each syllable that rolled her tongue left a bittersweet taste in her mouth. His face did not change.

"Well isn't this day just full of surprises! Who would've thought that you still lived, little sister. You seem to be in a quite energetic condition."

His voice cheerfully rang out like a bell and it burned her ears. She didn't want him to speak… she wanted him to just shut up for once.

"I'm afraid I can't stay and chat, though. I'm sure the elders will want to hear about this most entertaining outcome." Her brother broke their staring contest to look towards Gin-chan. "I really look forward to fighting you, Samurai-san. I expect you to grow stronger in the meantime… the same goes for my baby sister." His eyes snapped back to Kaguras frozen face and his smile revealed a row of pearl-white teeth. "Do take care of her delicate body."

Her knuckles turned to ice in barely contained fury. When he turned around and started to walk away, her body reacted before her brain did. The roof shook under her feet as she almost threw herself at him, the bandage snapping off her shoulder in the process.

"KAMUI!" her own voice screamed out in her eardrums, high pitched and almost desperate sounding. "You won't turn your back on me this time, I won't let you!" Her throat felt like a raw wound as her words snapped like a whiplash. With an animalistic snarl, she slammed her parasol down on the back of his head. A cloud of dust, stone, and wooden splinters erupted from the blow but no Kamui. She coughed out a mouthful of the wreckage, her eyes stinging as she anxiously looked around for her target. Reacting purely on instinct, she jumped backwards and just managed to avoid a kick to her head. The air became clearer and she clumsily landed on her knees in the debris. Kagura looked up, seeing her older brother proudly standing a few meters away. He narrowed his eyes at her, showcasing his usual smile.

"Oh dear, you want to fight me?" he taunted her, lowering his umbrella and closing it with a decisive snap. His eyes glinted with amusement. "I hope you're strong enough in your wounded state…" He gestured towards her limb arm. "After all, it would be a spectacular waste of my time to fight someone who's not capable of going all out. Though, you surely would make a pretty picture, dearest sister of mine… all beaten up." There was no denying the mocking tone in his voice as he emphasised the last words. It cut her open like a knife, spilling out her fragile vulnerabilities.

"Don't mock me baka-aniki or i'll make mashed potatoes out of your stupid face," she bit out and pointed her umbrella at him. "I'll make you regret your own birth," she continued on with a tense curl of her lips, compelling herself to at least look as confident as he was.

"Oh you can't make me do anything, my little rabbit."

Kagura flinched at the old nickname. He used to call her that way back when they were mere children… it filled her with an unnerving, fuzzy feeling. Almost like she was home… almost.

Her cheeks heated up and she responded with an angry "Don't you ever dare call me that again." Her voice, low and growling like a rising threat. "I'm not here to play games with you."

The fight was on. It's unclear who made the first move but what followed couldn't have been more clearer. A yato siblings quarrel, a fight between blood. It was just as confusing as it was beautiful, in a twisted sort of way. Kagura didn't even consider her chances of losing, it's what he did to her. He makes her more reckless than ever before, he makes her feel things that would be for the best left buried.

She evaded a blow to her head, landing a kick in his stomach in the process. He barely made a sound as he was pushed back a few feet from the force of her heeled boot. She immediately dropped down on her knees, avoiding his swinging umbrella by just a few inches. She was just about to kick away his at his legs when he took ahold of her collar, effortlessly lifting her from the ground.

"I can damn well call you my rabbit if I wish to and you won't have a say in it," he snarled as he brought her face close.

Kagura was taken aback by the commanding, almost pissed off tone of his voice. For a moment, her limbs felt petrified in fear at his unhinged, wild eyes. Though not for long. She bit her lip and gathered up her courage. Gripping his wrists, she vengefully spat in his face. It landed off the mark in his red hair but she still felt completely pleased with herself.

Kamui on the other hand, was not amused. He punched her straight in the shin and she was thrown backwards from the force of it. Her time in the air were short-lived as she landed unceremoniously on her back, rolling away across the uneven roof. The rooftop made creaking noises and green stones flew everywhere. Kagura was morbidly surprised that she didn't fall right through the roof. Her body shrieked in pain as she gasped for air. Something metallic coated her tongue and the wrenched throbbing in her head had yet to stop. Blinking furiously, she ignored the warning signs and quickly got to her wobbling feet. He was much stronger than Abuto, that's for sure.

She looked over to see her parasol, laying uselessly a few feet away. Spitting out a mouthful of blood, she wiped her now red lips with her sleeve. He looked at her, daring her to make the first move. That's when she realised how unfair this fight really was. She was wounded, unable to use her left arm and was somewhere near exhausted. He on the other hand, was in excellent condition. Either way, Kagura wasn't one to back down, she wasn't going to give up now and especially not to him. She would never ever let him win like that.

Like a ray of light, she noticed that she had in fact hit him in quite a few places as well. He had a blooming bruise along with some red scratches on his jawline. From the way he was holding himself, she could easily tell that her kick to his stomach would also result in at least a bruise. Maybe even some dislocated bones if she was lucky. She smiled then, showing off her teeth, dark pink from her bleeding mouth. He just raised his eyebrows at her in return, wiping away her spit from his red locks.

"Kagura! Stop this nonsense already! You cannot fight in that condition," a voice could be heard from behind her. She'd almost forgotten that they weren't alone. The voice was recognised as Gin-chan's and his tone caught her off guard. It was a mixture of worry and anger, like he was blaming her for something…

"This is my fight, Gin-chan. So stay the hell out of it," she declared with a sore throat, never looking away from kamuis piercing gaze.

"Have you lost you mind?!" he screamed at her in return.

She could hear rapid movements behind her and reluctantly looked away from her brother to see the commotion behind her.

Shinpachi was holding back a constantly struggling and significantly weakened Gin-chan as he tried to get to her. It was a pitiful sight and it hurt her to see him in that state.

"Gin-san, stop it! You're in even worse condition than Kagura-chan. It's too dangerous!" Shinpachi exclaimed with an alarmed look on his face. "Please Kagura-chan, just leave it be. You have to see reason here!" he went on, his brown eyes looking into hers desperately.

She bit down on her sticky lip, tensing slightly.

"I won't do that and you can't stop me. This doesn't concern you and if you don't leave now, I can't confirm your safety. You'll only get in the way," she yelled out, her tone cold and dispatched, though she really cared about them.

Hurt and shock flashed across their faces and her heart ached a bit at it. It was necessary though, she didn't want them here, watching her and trying to interfere at any given change. Nothing good could possibly come out of that. Still, she would have to apologise later to them.

"Now, now, what's wrong with a little audience, rabbit? We could put on a good show," Kamuis voice cleaved through the air and she snapped her head back to him with a noticeable crack.

He took a step forward, truthfully enjoying himself. "Though it's true that the show may be lethal towards its onlookers..." He clicked his tongue and pointed his umbrella at the wounded party behind her.

Her protective side reared its furious head and she reacted without thinking. She would rather die than let someone hurt her loved ones again. With a scream, she launched herself like a cannonball towards him, making a small crater in the roof. She grabbed the tip of his umbrella whilst simultaneously punching his arm, making him let go it. She had used her wounded arm for that and in her adrenaline rush, the pain was currently nonexistent. For the first time since she'd last seen him, he looked completely taken off guard. His mouth stood agape, blue eyes wide with surprise as he took in her enraged face. She twisted the purple umbrella and practically ripped it away from him. It was thrown into a window, causing glass to scatter everywhere.

His elbow to her chest knocked the air out of her but she still managed to slam him down on the ground. As in, she threw her whole weight on him, knocking out his legs with her wild kicks and crashing her forehead to his. Blood sprung forth from their connected heads and it started to ring in her ears, her brain felt like it'd been smashed into nothingness. The thing that stood out the most was the shattering pain in her left arm. The one she wasn't supposed to use, she had anyway. She still had strength left in it but it hurt like hell to even move a finger. Her hands where gripping the front of his shirt and she could see how malformed and discoloured it looked from only so little action.

As punishment for letting her thoughts wander, he flipped them over and raised his fist. She could only mutter "shit" as his white knuckles made contact with her rib cage in mere seconds. It happened so fast. She could feel the roof break and collapse under her small form, her heart dropped to her stomach and everything in her body switched places for a second. They fell through the roof and then crashed into something else again and again, making her body tear up. She felt like a worn out piñata. Finally they hit rock bottom with bang and her insides turned to porridge. She laid there, pressed down in the wreckage, his fist still pushed to her chest. Her eardrums howled now as the ringing was so loud it literally made her ears pop. She didn't realise that she'd screamed all the way down until she choked on her own voice. She coughed out all kinds of bodily fluids and her suffocating lungs screamed for air. His fist left her then and she immediately turned around on her side, heaving out the last of whatever the hell was coming out of her. She cut open her hands and arms on the loose metal and planks around them. She hardly noticed that though. Finally able to breathe, she greedily took in big mouthful of -not exactly clean- air but air nonetheless. After awhile she opened her eyes, not remembering when she'd closed them in the first place. Her vision was slightly blurry but one could easily make out Kamui's face as he sat on her hips, preventing any kind of movement with his weight.

She couldn't say anything since her teeth trembled too much, it felt like they would shatter at every little breath she took. Her hearing wasn't the best at the moment either. His words sounded muffled, like he was speaking underwater but she could still understand them if she really concentrated on it.

"-well I guess this is as far as you go, little sister… this spectacle of yours was fun while it lasted. I may have underestimated you, a mistake I won't make again. You lose and I win. Seeing the pathetic state you're in now makes me wonder though if I have wasted my time here. After all… you're still just a weakling." She was transfixed with his words and they were becoming clearer by each syllable.

She failed to take note of anything else. He sat crouched down on her, trapping her with his face next to hers. Why would he want to be close to someone who was as filthy as she was now? She had so many questions, it was hard to sort them out. Why was she so scared right now? Why did his words hurt her so much? Why is he capable of making her feel like a little girl again? Why is she crying? Why did he make her feel weak, sad, vulnerable… and angry like a bee?

"-did you really think you had a chance? Rushing into battle while you're injured and all? Tssk, you're no better than those meek humans you surround yourself with. It's truly sad, how the gift of the yato blood was wasted on you, rabbit. You can't even use it to save yourself much less anyone else."

His hurtful whispers echoed in her head. His breath foamed over her right ear, making it hot and uncomfortable. More tears escaped her eyes and her lip wobbled dangerously. She didn't want to cry, she really didn't. She felt sadder and sadder by each breath she took and angrier all the same. Kagura didn't know what she was more, angry or sad? Both? Neither? She didn't know anything anymore. Was she the prey now? Was Kamui the predator? She needed something… what was it again? It was familiar, it tasted sweet but sour at the same time. It offered her a way out and she brushed it with her fingers, something inside her screamed out. Screaming for her to not do it, don't step over that line, don't, don't, don't. Remember what happened the last time, don't do it! You're better than this Kagura!

Better than what exactly? What was it again? She couldn't remember… if she couldn't remember it then it surely cannot be so important, right? That's it. That must be it.

She turned her head slightly, her gaze peering straight into her brothers crazy eyes, his pupils were dilated to the point when there's no spots of blue left. His face had twisted, contorted, morphed into something that could only be described as pure evil. It didn't suit him at all but at the same time, she herself would don that look if necessary.

Suddenly he sat up again, looking down on her with a frown on his face. The crazy look was still there but now, it was accompanied by something else. His eyes narrowed as he grimaced, pulling his lips back to reveal clean-cut teeth. He looked troubled, disappointed… like he was trying to accomplish something and it just wasn't going his way.

"What hell do I have to do to make you crack? What more do I have to say? How many times do I have to throw you around like fucking volleyball?" His hands found her neck, clawing at the creamy skin and drawing blood. "I'm not known for my great patience but I truly did try with you," he snarled at her. One hand left her throat, rising up and forming a hard fist. Knuckles white and veins visibly pointing out. "I guess I have to beat you senseless if words won't do the trick."

Something snapped and cracked inside of her, echoing in her ears like a warning. A cord between her heart and brain broke, making something run amok inside of her, like poison. Logic and self-control dissolved and contorted into something else. Something sinister and berserk-like. The Kagura everyone knew had lost it… again. It was so forceful and it took over without the slightest warning.

Logic and sense left her and animalistic impulses took their place.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Flashbacks of red locks and blue eyes, pt 2

Kaguras Pov:

Kagura was all gone now. Her body peeled itself off the ground, her arm, blocking his descending fist. Kamui made a noteworthy sound through his teeth as her knee made contact with his abdomen. She took in his expression, drinking it up. His weight left her in that moment, he flew high up in the air, passing through the hole they'd made. Her arms felt weightless as she'd thrown him away. Kagura felt like she could fly too. It felt like something heavy had left her shoulders, something that was holding her back. It was gone now and so was the pain. The only thing she cared about was this feeling. A clawing excitement, a lustful haze, it engulfed her. It swallowed her whole until nothing else mattered anymore. In the back of her head, she could hear someone faintly yelling but it so small and irrelevant. She didn't need to listen to it, she didn't need to listen to anyone, only this addiction.

Her feet left the ground with a complaining noise and she was up in the air, her lose hair flowing around her face. She landed on her knees with a crash, her sight coloured red. Other people were there as well but she was blind to everything but him. The one who stood in front of her, a few meters away. He stood slightly bent down, his hand holding his midriff. Her brother looked at like he was seeing her for the first time. He truly, actually looked at her and it could only be described as pure euphoria. She loved his attention, she felt drunk from it.

Kamui seemed relieved, he looked happy, almost proud. It made her more crazy than she already was. His lips thinned and formed an insane grin, eyes wide with a grazed fire in them. He eyed her up and down, eating her up with his eyes.

"Finally," he breathed out before an obscene laugh bubbled up from his throat. A deranged laugh that triggered her own.

At first she giggled but it soon broke out into a shrill unhinged noise. Her blood boiled and she choked once again on her own voice.

They must have both looked mad for the onlookers seemed to freeze. They could only stare, open mouthed at the siblings. Not a muscle was moved as their wide eyes took in the scene before them.

"Oh how I've craved to see you like this, little sister. I almost didn't think you had it in you…" he rasped out darkly as his laugh died down. His words went through one ear and out the other, their meaning completely disregarded.

Her only answer was to charge at him, grinning madly. The fought once again, nothing holding them back. A hurricane of punches, kicks, teeth and nails, a yato dance. A ferocious dance full of blood and bones and bruises. Each hit had her body teared up little by little. Because when a yato looses themselves to their blood, they will keep on fighting until their body psychically breaks down. They won't stop unless they somehow snap out of it. As was the case with Kagura. She couldn't mind anything else but to quench her unending lust for blood. Her bones broke, her skin parted like petals and blood covered her from head to toe. Her torn and utterly ruined kimono stuck to her figure with sweat. It was bound to fall apart any second now, not that she was aware of that.

A punch to her throbbing temple had her slammed sideways, crashing into the wall. The pain didn't mind her though and she shakily stood up, left arm hanging limp and useless by her side. The unnerving smile had never once slipped from her face. Kamui turned around and jumped towards a spire. Grabbing ahold of the tower-like building, he used it as foothold as he launched himself on top of another rooftop. He stopped in his tracks and held out his arms in front of him, beckoning her towards him.

"Come to me, imouto..."

Kagura took three steps forward, about to jump after him, into his waiting arms… just so she could endure the satisfaction of breaking them. Only, something stopped her. A warm hand tentatively holding her unresponsive and wrecked arm.

"It's enough Kagura-chan," an almost familiar voice said behind her. "You're not yourself right now and you know it…"

She turned around and met a pair of brown eyes, pleading with her to end this madness. Her heart jumped a little and she felt something building up in her throat. 'Yes, yes maybe if I turn back now… if only.' Even so, that ever so small feeling of compassion, gave way to a more powerful urge. The urge to maim, to mutilate, to kill. The kind face became blurred in front of her and it suddenly didn't seem as recognisable as before. It was merely a stranger's face, a stranger's voice. It was a prey.

All at once, it didn't seem as important as the surge of adrenaline coursing through her veins. That small breath of hesitation left her as soon as it came. With the animalistic grin never leaving her face, she took ahold of the arm holding hers and twisted. Hard. His elbow snapped with a sickening crack and she could feel the distortion under her fingers. His screams were like music to her ears and it made her blood scream out in rapture. She lifted him up by his broken elbow and threw him away from her, not caring where or how he landed. The twisted kick she got out of it easily drowned out the other screaming… the horrified noise coming from the depths of her heart.

Kamuis Pov:

His sisters sapphire orbs remained wide open as she sprinted towards him. He couldn't look away from her fanatic face. Kamui were now slightly questioning himself. Was this really necessary? When is it enough? How much more can he tear her body down until it collapses? It had all been a uncanny curiosity of his. The whole point of riling her up like this was to lure out the hidden beast she'd shackled. Or at least tried to… Kagura's true nature can never stay hidden for too long, she is a yato after all. A strong one it seemed… but at the same time, very weak. She'd been fighting against her own blood for far too long and this was the outcome: A gruesome, rampant loss of control.

For the first time, the presence of his baby sister had filled him with elation, pride, something dangerously close to utter joy. Is this truly what he'd been missing out on? This face? These eyes? That shrill, cracked voice… her screams sounded so perfect in his ears, ringing like small bells. It made his hands clench in exhilaration, he couldn't stop grinning. Yes… unlike his earlier speech, when he'd punched her through the roof, this had definitely not been a waste of his time.

More than half of that speech had been very exaggerated anyway. A simple ploy to make her anger rise. For her rage to reach a boiling point, to make her completely out of it. It had worked as well and he got a memorable experience from it too. The breathtaking picture of her wriggling form beneath him, will probably never leave him. Bloody and bruised, she laid there in the wreckage, teeth stained red and lips cut open. Her bloodshot eyes were heavy-lidded and her face morphed into an image of pure agony. She gasped for air, sounding more like a broken vacuum cleaner than anything else. He especially remembered how rapidly her chest heaved as she threw up.

Kamui had never seen himself as a particularly sadistic person. Watching other people in pain could be entertaining sometimes but it always tends to bore him rather quickly. Apparently that was not the case when it comes to Kagura. For some indescribable reason, he found it near impossible to look away from her distressed face. He'd studied her from head to toe, whispered cruelty in her ear and let the smell of her fill up his senses. Sweat, blood and something very individual… something that could only be described as Kagura. The smell took him back to when they were younger. How she used to sneak into his bed after a nightmare, (which happened quite often). Her small shivering figure pressed up against him for warmth and comfort. She would quietly cry into his shoulder, wetting his pyjamas with her tears and snot.

She was such a cry baby and when he caught two lone tears creeping down her flushed cheeks, it seemed that not much had changed. His little sister cried once again, her eyes flooding with the salty liquid, her soft hiccuping sounded much like when she'd been a little girl. He kept on hissing out profanities in her ear like there was no tomorrow. She was silently weeping the entire time, her body tense and trembling. She had at some point turned her head around, staring at him with those wide baby-blue eyes. Kamui had never seen her pale complexion so red. Kagura's expression could at best be described as catatonic. He didn't know why he loved it so much, he just did. He truly was a heinous man. A terrible, terrible brother who couldn't help but engulf himself in his sister's red hair.

After some time of trying to lure out her inner demons, his patience ran dry and he reluctantly rose up from the comfortable spot at her nape. He was so angry, so annoyed at her seemingly headstrong heart. What did he have to do to break her? Kamui's face left nothing out as he voiced his furious thoughts. As a final try, he raised his fist intending to scare her into losing control. After all, she is an animal, and they all follow their instincts. She is a yato and survival comes first, it always will.

Nevertheless, he was a bit surprised when it succeeded so splendidly. For some reason, he wasn't prepared at all for what followed next. He watched with his own eyes as she gave into the temptation. Her face had twisted into her malformed and mad counterpart. Her punches and kicks were much stronger than before. She was faster, more agile and flexible. When she bit his arm, her teeth easily tore through the fabric, piercing his skin and causing blood to slip forth. Her jaw was strong and when he finally managed to rip her off him, it handsomely tore his shirt. As if that wasn't proof enough, he knew she was truly gone when she snapped her own comrade's arm without batting an eye. It was glorious, marvellous.

It all led up to very moment as he stood there on the rooftop, calling out to her. His eyes, leeching on the beautiful sight that was his little sister. Like an obedient little puppy, she ran towards him. His bones screamed out in exhilaration as she jumped forwards, landing on the rather elegant tower-like structure. Keeping herself upright with her good arm, her hips buckled a bit as she prepared to throw herself on him. It was then that he became aggravatingly aware of how erotic the scene before him really was.

Of course he had always been aware of her lovely appearance (it was shame to ruin it so much), but it seemed all the more apparent now. Now more than ever. Her short kimono was torn as the collar hung loosely down her shoulders. It revealed a considering amount of skin. A bruised, pale collarbone and cleavage, peeked out. His fist sure left its mark… he briefly wondered why he hadn't noticed this before but then again, he had been preoccupied.

He wasn't sure how to feel about it yet… It was confusing and left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. A part of him wanted to cover her up and scold her for showing so much (not that she would listen, considering the state she was in now). Another part wanted to sit back and do nothing. Just watch her keep up her rampage-mode until her whole kimono were nothing but scraps hanging on her bare body. He was almost taken aback by how barbaric his thoughts sounded. Almost. After all, what's the point of lying to himself? He wasn't a good person, he knew that and was perfectly content with that fact. It made life all the more interesting, in his opinion of course.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't react as fast as he would have liked to. A few of his men stood gathered at the side, watching the spectacle unfold. One of them (the fat, ugly brute that had interfered in his fight earlier with Housen) decided that once again, he was feeling suicidal and would therefore 'help out' his beloved captain. Kamui didn't know what he'd done to deserve such stupid men on his crew but that flabbergasting thought had been quite fleeting. The sound of a gunshot rang in his ears as the imbecile fired his parasol at Kagura and the tower she was clinging to. He didn't have time to think as he watched the tower blow up, big chunks of stone scattering everywhere. As it fell down, so did his sister, whose crimson figure was barely visible through the smoke.

Kamui spat out curses that would even make a foul sailor gasp. No one interfered with his fights, No one! Blind with rage, eyes lit red, he jumped of the roof, skilfully evading rocks and stones. His hand reached out, grasping Kagura's yellow obi in a tight grip, almost undoing it in the process. Throwing her over his shoulder, he latched himself onto the edge of the near-ruined rooftop. He swung there back and forth as the dust settled. His sister had stayed surprisingly still during the whole ordeal. Still like frozen water. The only thing moving was the slightly uneven rise and fall of her chest, pressed up on his shoulder.

He decided that he had seen enough for today so naturally he would put an end to it. Apparently he had one too many crew members and therefore needed to take responsibility like the true captain he was. Though at the moment, he would have fashioned himself more like a ruthless butcher than a captain.

Not as meticulous as he would've liked, Kamui swung himself up on the cracked green roof. Carrying the mute girl like a sack of potatoes, he jumped and ran towards his destination. The yelling from her friends never truly reached his ears. Kagura was too light for his liking. As a yato, she needs a considerable amount of food, of which she apparently hadn't gotten. That notion made him even more angrier… How can she ever hope to be his equal when she wasn't even eating enough? Are her pathetic human-companions too poor to afford proper meals? He bit back a snarl, why did he even care in the first place?

When the image of his crew member fell before his red eyes, he felt something boiling in him. Likely his blood. An overweight, pink little man whose name is of no importance whatsoever. He clutched his red parasol with chubby hands and stared at him in a traumatic shock. The only yato blood that had been wasted here were this one's and even then, he wouldn't even call it a waste since he didn't really contribute to anything other than a show of spectacular stupidity. Not even uttering a word, he slammed down his foot on the side of the verminous man's face, knocking his round head clean off. It flew away somewhere in yoshiwara, spitting blood everywhere. He almost regretted it seeing as he didn't deserve the mercy of a quick death. The headless body dropped limp to the ground, blooming like a flower in a pool of red.

Kamui let his lips curve up in a sweet smile as he looked at his two remaining men, standing stiff and pale faced. "Go find Abuto, we will leave shortly."

The two yatos barely nodded at him as they left in quite a hurry. The metallic tang of blood hung heavy in the air and he took a second to breathe it in. The fury bleed out of him much like the body at his feet. He felt more relaxed now. Kamui turned around and jumped away to an unmanned rooftop.

Kagura's 'friends' kept up their outrageous shouting, it was quite amusing. He paid them no mind, rearranging his hold on his sister so he could see her face. She looked to be far away… floating about in another dimension. At the very least, she wasn't out of control anymore. He laid her out on the roof, her hair splayed out like a red sun around her pallid face. Kagura looked right through him, her eyes, red rimmed and heavy lidded. Her pupils dilated into two onyx pears, thinly circled with blue waves. It was like she was in a trance, a state of deep, deep comatose that only left her eyes open. Barely aware, barely there. Funnily enough, she looked high on drugs.

He spoke to her once, twice. Then a third time, nearly screaming in her face. He got no response, not even a reaction. And so, he slapped her head sideways. Hard. Absolutely nothing happened besides the change in her breathing. It was quicker than before and he felt her pulse under his fingers. It drummed away like the heart of a hummingbird. What's the plan exactly? Was he going to slap her until he got a response? Was this even normal? His hand was lightly squeezing her neck. His fingers sliding against crescent-shaped marks, wet from blood. Marks he had so graciously left her with.

Biting down on his lip, he made a scandalous facial expression. He had to be patient, gentle almost. There were always other ways of getting her attention. Breathing heavily, he leaned down to her ear and slowly trailed her well marked cheekbone with his knuckles.

"Kagura - imouto - rabbit - sweetiepie… there are damaged and fractured things around you. Your friend with brown hair and glasses are a part of the collection. Don't you think, you should help? It's your fault after all."

His voice would've almost sounded soothing if it wasn't for the obvious condescending tone to it. It seemed to have worked nonetheless for the drugged, cloudy haze slowly vanished from her eyes. Her pupils shrunk down to their normal size and she blinked a couple of times. Her parched lips opened and closed, tried to form words, piece together sentences but it was futile. She looked very confused and very childish. However, as if struck by lightning, her eyes widened and her body became very still and her muscles turned taunt like a bowstring. Frigid like ice, she lay there staring at him as her memory flooded back to her.

Kagura, with great difficulty, turned her head towards the group of people standing off to the side, their eyes just as wide as hers. The broken things, the broken boy whose arm looked to be straight out of a horror film. Kamui sighed a little as he saw tears spilling forth from her terrified eyes, coating her cheeks in a glossy shine. Her blue eyes squeezed themselves shut as she tried to turn away from the scene, hide herself, reject reality. A strained sob escaped her torn lips, low and wheezing. He didn't know what prodded him to assist her, but so he did. He took ahold of her cheek and turned her away from the group of disbelieving humans. She flinched a little at his touch and her eyes opened slowly, meeting his gaze. Something unidentifiable floated around in her shimmering eyes, like ghosts. She only cried more and Kamui decided abruptly that he would take his leave now. But he felt compelled so say something first.

"You clearly need to work on your abilities, Kagura. Nevertheless, I had fun today and would be up for another round soon… though you probably need to sort out your feelings first." He reached out and plucked a red string of hair from where it had been stuck on her wobbling lips. He twirled it around his fingers and lazily tugged at it.

"You know you can always come to your strong onii-chan for help," he coated the words in malicious ridicule, all to make her twist in discomfort.

She did no such thing however. She only gave him an empty stare, making no notion that she even heard his words. That was until her shaking lips finally formulated a meek sentence.

"T-this is y-your fault… that I-" her voice cracked in two, teeth clattering and breath hiccuping.

"Maybe I pressured you a bit but I don't think I should be blamed for this," he reprimanded her smoothly, elegantly raising an eyebrow.

She coughed madly then, trying to move over but failed miserably. He assisted her, turning her over to her side, away from the prying eyes of her 'friends'. She coughed freely, gasping rapidly as he rubbed her back. It was nostalgic, in a way. It pleased him to comfort her like this, knowing full well that he was the reason behind her bloody condition. He thought it to be quite funny, to play the role of a merciless sadist and then do a double take and morph into a caring brother.

"S-shinpachi…" she rasped out between her heavy breathing and Kamui could practically feel his annoyance materialising in the pit of his stomach. It rabidly flowed around him, almost tangible. Truly, that four-eyed weakling couldn't possibly mean that much to his sister. The moron had put himself in danger, it was his own damn fault. He should've known better than to approach her when she was so obviously dysfunctional. If he wasn't capable of basic common sense like that then he might as well deserve to have a broken arm... or a neck.

"Why do you even care?" He crossly muttered under his breath, glaring a little at the ragged girl splayed out before him.

He absentmindedly brushed her torn bottom lip, watching as blood poured out of the small cut. Almost simultaneously, his sister let her head fall backwards onto the hard roof under them, her eyes rolled back and closed themselves. A final tear creeped down her sticky cheek and her body seemed to shut itself down, not putting up with any more trauma. His eyes leeched onto the image, storing away the memory in the depths of his mind. Torn stockings, torn kimono, torn skin… torn soul and blood coating her creamy complexion. It translated into beauty in Kamui's eyes.

Very much skin actually. Dirty and wounded skin, peeking out from underneath the garments. Pale and shimmering in the sunlight. The large, gruesome bruise across her sternum blinked up at him, daring his eyes to move further down.

He didn't but he could have. He could have done many things but he decided not to step over that line. Not now at least, when she was hopelessly unconscious and there were people shouting across the rooftops. He tore his gaze away from her battered form with only mild difficulties. He looked towards the gathering of onlookers and nearly laughed out loud at the expression of the white haired samurai. It was like a mixtape of pathetic stupidity. Shock, horror, anger, confusion, concern. It wasn't a very diverse spectrum of emotions. Anyone could read his face like a book and when he looked at Kamui, disdain and hatred could clearly be seen in his grey eyes. Very entertaining indeed. He flashed the pitiful man a perverse smile full off pointed teeth as an idea started to brew in his mind. He snaked his arm around Kagura's waist, keeping her limp form upright as he met the samurai's stormy eyes. He gave him the nastiest look he could muster not really caring about the fact that the whole ordeal was kinda childish.

Never breaking eye contact with the crestfallen man, he bent down and bit her neck. Not hard enough to break skin (though he easily could have) but hard enough to leave a mark as big as his mouth. She tasted like salted blood and something else more bitter. The samurai, along with everyone else, gasped and screamed in outrage. It was like music to his ears and it truthfully only made the experience all the more enjoyable. When his teeth finally left her pulsating skin, it also left behind an uneven circle, blooming dark red. Kamui was quite proud of his work actually. He'd done it out of spite, wanting to torment and taunt the samurai that so clearly cared about his sister…for some inexplicable reason. He wasn't even in the condition to jump over the rooftops and save Kagura so that just made it all the more fun. A sadistic, sinister glee. He saw it as his parting gift.

After that, he had taken his leave. Fetching his parasol, meeting up with Abuto and the others. As it turns out, Abuto had been busy licking his wounds after spectacularly losing to his sister, much earlier than his own fight with her. He'd used the explanation of "your sister really needs to establish some control over her yato blood" as justification for his bloody state. Kamui could almost understand him but that didn't stop him from reminding him that he only had room for strong people on his ship. He had asked Abuto what had caused Kagura to lose herself and the answer made him less than pleased.

"It was that boy… I forgot his name but I think it started with a 'Shi', hmm whatever, he had glasses anyway... and a ridiculous dress." The older man lazily scratched his beard as he leaned on the cool steel wall of the spacecraft. "I only hurt him a little and she went completely insane, the brat."

"Shinpachi," Kamui cut in, his voice sharp and cold as ice.

"Hmm?" Abuto eyed him warily.

"I believe his name was Shinpachi. My sister seems to be strangely affectionate of him… it is quite pathetic." He tried to hide his resentment but it was a lost cause. He was practically speaking through his teeth, jaw clenched and brows furrowed.

An uncomfortable long silence stretched out between the two men and Abuto turned more and more uneasy by each second.

"Well… i'm kinda bleeding all over the floor here so i'll have to get this dealt with."

The older man awkwardly gestured to the gruesome wounds on his chest, only patched up by a meek string of cloth. He was quite eager to get away from his captain's brooding presence.

Kamui dismissed him with a curt nod, his eyes, fixated on the slowly, shrinking blue planet.


	4. Chapter 3

Authors note:

I keep forgetting to write these notes oh gawd! Communication with the readers is actually very important so I will have to do m best for now on. Anyway, as it stands, I am currently writing six fics on the same time so if updates are a bit late then it's probably because I'm preoccupied with the other texts… Not to mention that school has been killing me lately. Lol well I'm sure you understand how it is sometimes, I wish I could clone myself as to keep up with the multitasking.

Nevertheless, my goal with this story is to keep it as realistic as possible and to stay true to each character so if you notice anything out of character then please PM me or tell me in the reviews! It would be a huge help.

Okey now I must quit my rambling haha, on with the story!

 **Chapter three**

Across the line

 **Kaguras Pov:**

The redhead stood by and merely watched the spectacle unfold. Her eyes weary and tired from a distinctly lack of sleep.

"Kagura-chan, stop standing around and help us!" Shinpachi snapped at her like an angry bee, his glasses slightly foaming from sweating so much. "You're the strongest among us and this is actually supposed to be your room!"

She just continued to chew on her lip, a bad habit of hers. The cuts on it had fully healed now as had most of her injuries. Her left arm had fully recovered and was back to it's normal form and shade. She could thank her yato blood for that, she did heal much, much faster than other species.

During the now three weeks that's gone by, she opted to keep her mind constantly busy. That included furiously training and trying to explore and eventually establish control over her yato instincts. At least she could try. It was about time she did that, she couldn't possibly ignore it all her life. She trained every day now and sometimes during the night as well, when the house laid shrouded in the growing darkness. When she couldn't sleep.

One of the now long gone injuries, was the big bruise that had splayed itself over her neck. She was glad it was gone for she often found herself very nervous and agitated at the feeling of it. Now that it had departed her skin, she could pretend that it hadn't been there in the first place. She wasn't stupid, she knew how real bruises looked like and that specific bruise did not fit the part. After all she had plenty to compare it with…

Kagura had actually gone through a few romance novels and movies, none of them weren't really good but they did spare her some boredom, making her feel like a normal teenager. From what she knew, that bruise did look like a bloody hickey and the more she thought of it, the surer she became. The disturbing revelation only left her with mind numbing questions, that came with a headache and the foul feeling of being invaded. So she opted to not think of it at all, to bury it deep within her mind, to try to forget. Forget about the possibilities.

Kagura still hadn't really talked to Gin-chan or Shinpachi, she hadn't sat down with them and explained who Kamui really was, what he meant to her. She had only told them that she was sorry over and over again, especially to Shinpachi. They didn't hold anything against her and she was happy to have their support, their love. Truly, she didn't deserve it.

They still seemed on edge though, as did everyone. Their eyes carefully following her like she was a loose canon. Pity and worry, filled their gaze. She wished she could sink through the ground, to undo and mend everything. It would be hard but she was determined. She had a new family, a new life and she wouldn't let someone from her past, destroy that.

Kagura sighed heavily but her gaze softened as she watched her struggling companions, trying to lift a bed into the small doorway. It had been a storage room first, not very big. However, it did have room for a desk, a chair, a closet, a small bookshelf and a bed, complete with a bedside table. The walls were in a shade of light blue and the furniture were in a simple chestnut brown. A single window with white blinds over it, gave view to the constantly moving kabuki district. Nothing special but it was hers.

Gin-chan had insisted that she was too old for the closet now and since he never used the storage room much, she might as well have it. Kagura had been extremely reluctant at first, not really thinking of herself as deserving after all the hurt she'd caused both him and Shinpachi but he wouldn't take no for an answer. They cared about her and she wasn't sure how to feel about that. But well… the room was nice and cosy. Her closet had in fact felt a bit narrow as of late.

"Well I guess you're quite helpless without me," she playfully spoke with false confidence. She didn't feel as carefree as she'd like to pretend… not after everything that's happened.

"Gin-chan move over."

The white haired man, did as he was told for once and moved over to the side as Kagura put her foot on the headboard. With a huff of air, she pushed the bed all the way into the room, never breaking a sweat. Not long after, she proceeded to neatly put the bed into its place at the corner of the room. It did leave some scratches on the floor but she couldn't bring herself to care about that. It was now complete, well almost.

She needed to move in her belongings, books to fill the empty shelf, papers, magazines and pens would have its home on the desk. Unorganised clothes to fill up the closet and one round mirror to hang over her bed. She had a collection of seemingly useless objects as well. Sea shells, stones, shiny capsules, broken pocket watches and much more. Most would deem it as garbage but Kagura had always seen it as a small treasure, something she had proudly collected over the years. Her well-guarded treasure took its place in one of the drawers at her desk. Just like her secret stash of sukonbu.

So her afternoon mostly consisted of moving in her stuff, making it as homely as possible. The very last thing to add to her new lair, was a small eggplant, which she placed on the windowsill. It was an unexpected gift from Sougo when he heard that she was moving into her own room. She didn't know what to make of the eggplant really and it would no doubt be dead soon since she didn't know how to care for plants. Nevertheless, she named it Zetsu and left it at that.

The day had flown by in a rush and Shinpachi would soon return from the store. She had stayed in her new room for the most time, Lazing around on her bed with Sadaharu sleeping soundly on the floor. His massive form took up so much space that if she had to get to the door, she would have to jump over him. Coincidentally, she did feel like going to the door. For the past twenty minutes or so, the creeping feeling of discomfort had plagued her mind. Something just felt indescribable... off, something strange hanging in the air. Like the calm before the storm. The hard clatter of raindrops on her window did nothing to soothe her unease. If anything, it just made it worse and something churned in the pit of her stomach.

Kagura couldn't help but jumping a little as she heard the front door slam, the disgruntled voice of Shinpachi following the sound.

"Knock it off Kagura…" she muttered, beyond embarrassed at herself. The girl dropped her unread book and sat up in bed.

She looked out the window, the sky painted itself in an orange glow, soft to the eye as the evening slowly gave way to night. The thundering raindrops made themselves visible in the yellow beams of the countless streetlights that lined the district. She felt like she needed to go out and do something… but what exactly? It was raining hard now and the only thing she could think of doing was playing in the mud... but no, she wasn't five anymore. With small sigh, Kagura decided that she would go out and train in the woods since she hadn't actually done so for almost two days now. Shinpachi would no doubt start with the dinner whist she was out so she would come home in perfect time for a hot meal, if she cared about the time that is.

Not seeing any downsides with the idea, besides maybe getting a cold (though as a yato, that was unlikely unless she was hiking in the Antarctic region), Kagura woke Sadaharu up with the heel of her foot. A gentle but firm push. The large dog gave a disheartened grunt at being awakened from his slumber but nevertheless rose from his comfortable position to look at Kagura with big brown eyes.

"Out Sadaharu, I need the floor right now," she explained and pointed to the half opened door.

Clearly dissatisfied, the dog loitered around for a few seconds before finally giving up and shuffled out through the doorway. She got up and closed the door after him with a push of her elbow. The redhead stripped out of her lose-fitting sweatpants and red Mao suit. She quickly threw on a pair of black leggings and a long sleeved cheongsam with slit sides. Warm and flexible, perfect for training. Grabbing her purple umbrella, Kagura left in a rush, not really knowing why she felt such hurry… after all, she had enough time on her hands. With a skip in her heel, she walked down the narrow hallway and entered the living room. She jumped over the couch, her foot nearly hitting Gin-chan's moss of white hair. He flinched a little from the shock and quickly put down the porn magazine. If he said anything, Kagura didn't hear it.

"I'm going out to train," she informed him over her shoulder as she reached the hallway, stepping into a pair of warm boots on the way.

"What! Now?!" Gin-chan almost shouted, rising from the sofa.

She turned around with narrowed eyes, swinging her umbrella. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Yes, it's already late and you shouldn't go alone in the dark..." Shinpachi cut in from where he stood in the doorway to the kitchen. He had a worried look in his eyes as he scrutinised her but it was hard to take him seriously when he had the apron on.

Gin-chan walked slowly up to her as if she was something wild. "I agree with Shinpachi actually, I can go with you if you really want to train," he told her, his voice sounding so serious and out of place, almost out of character.

It was honestly off-putting to have them so worried over her. Her skin crawled with impatience and even though she knew she should be beyond grateful that they even cared, a boiling temper rose in her throat.

"Maybe you should seek out Okita-san and spar with h-" Shinpachi started but Kagura rudely cut him off.

"I don't need him! I don't need anyone's help, especially not Ka-… Never mind, I'd just like to be alone, i don't want to put anyone in danger…" she trailed of, swallowed thickly and berating herself for almost saying his name.

Before anyone could say anything or note her embarrassing slip up, Kagura turned around in record speed and hurriedly skipped out the door. The rain viciously attacked her face, seeping through her skin and bones and clothes but she hardly felt it. She ran down the street, gaining speed and getting more and more drenched by the second. Did they notice anything? Did they realise whose name she'd almost uttered? She wasn't sure why she was so catatonic about them finding out just how deeply affected she was by her brother. She just didn't want them to know how traumatised she felt by Kamui, by his face, his eyes, the sound of his voice. What it did to her body and mind. In more ways than one, he could stop her heart from beating, making it stand still and dead in her chest, frozen in time. It was either that, or the fact that he could make it pound a million times a minute… so hard it could break her rib cage. She detested her own vulnerabilities and the last thing she needed now was pity.

Kagura eventually slowed down and stopped to lean at a sticky brick wall, catching her breath. She was lucky that there weren't many people around... no sane person would go out and wander in this weather and at this hour nonetheless. Undoing her umbrella she shielded herself from the rain and started to walk more calmly towards the edge of the town. At least she'd warmed up.

She could always go through the park and reach the forest that way but she wanted to minimise the chance of meeting people by any means necessary. Her eyes were fixated on the dreary, melancholic trees ahead of her, her mind far away. She wondered why she'd felt such an urge to come her anyway. Why the rush? She could just train tomorrow when the weather would have cleared out. It made no sense… however, it wasn't like she could go back now after that fiasco in the living room… how could she possibly face her two companions now without blurting out something unbelievable stupid.

The trees crew in numbers as she came closer and closer, gathering more darkness now seeing as there weren't any street lamps here. However, the moon's fitting presence lit up her path, just enough to comfortably see without any hindrance. Walking through the trees, she inhaled the crisp and cold air. It smelled of wet bark and dampened soil, calming her senses somewhat. The more she breathed, the cleaner she felt. It was quite peaceful and she continued to walk until she was deep enough, so no one could hear her rip trees off the ground. A glade of sorts took place before her, nice and quiet and not too muddy. She closed her umbrella with a snap and leaned against a tree, feeling the rain trail down her red locks. It had lessened somehow and now it was a mere dropping. Silence filled up her ears with the occasional call from owls and whatnot. It was a nice reminder that there was life around her.

Her training session started off as usual, sit ups, stretching and hitting trees. See how damaged the wood could get from her kicks and punches. She could lift them off the ground and throw them as well but she usually did that towards the end of her session. She had just begun the sit ups when something knocked her routine clear off-course. Rustling leaves and snapping twigs, the unmistakable sound of footsteps. For some reason, it didn't seem like an animal… these steps were too precise for that. It had to be a person, human or maybe some humanoid Amanto. That thought made all the hairs stand up as her senses heightened in awareness. She sat up from the wet grass and listened quietly, her muscles tense and eyes wildly scanning her surroundings. Kagura was in the right for being so paranoid.

A twig snapped again, this time she knew where it was coming from and she turned her head to the side, simultaneously rising up to sit slightly crouched down. It was a tall, dark silhouette, the moonlight only illuminated him up to the jaw before fading away to darkness, seeing as he wore a hoodie. However, Kagura didn't need to see his eyes to know who it was. The clothes, the height, the umbrella at his side, the unmistakable red braid… she knew exactly that Kamui was standing before her. The last person she thought she would meet here…

A hard lump took place in her throat and she felt it sink down to the bottom of her stomach, dragging her heart with it. She blinked away the tears that threatened to spill forth and licked her suddenly very dry lips.

"How are you here? Why are you here?" she sounded so calm, so neutral… everything she wasn't feeling at the moment.

"I've always been here, I was just admiring the sky when you disturbed me," he responded, white teeth shining through the moonlight as he gave her a terrible grin.

"No! I mean why are you on this planet?!" Kagura lost her stillness right then and there and she rose up from the grass, staring at him with knuckles clenched in whiteness. She willed herself to take a step forward. "Why?! You're not supposed to be here!" her voice cracked as she practically shouted at him.

Kamui pulled down his hoodie, she could see him now more clearly. The moonlight lit up his red hair and pale face in a ghostly hue. His dark eyes, the colour of the deepest ocean, stared her down as if he was disapproving of something. It was hard to look at him, it was like staring at the sun. The picture of him always seemed to hurt her but she just couldn't let go of it. It was hard hearing his voice too… harder than it should've been.

"I'm here on a fleeting mission, handling transports and whatnot… a remarkable waste of my abilities, if I say so myself." he said with an amusing glint in his eye, the cheshire cat's grin on his lips. "I figured I should seek you out while i'm still here," he started to walk towards her and Kagura could literally feel her feet freeze into the ground. She felt like a deer in headlights.

"But why would you ever want to seek me out…?" her own voice sounded so strange in her ears, like it was on a loop. A broken, sad tune.

"Didn't I tell you? I had so much fun beating you up and I certainly wouldn't mind a second round," he clicked his tongue and Kagura once again, felt as if the whole wide world was against her.

Kamui stopped before her, standing now only a few feet away from her rigid form. He humorously raised his eyebrow at her distraught expression. "Come now, I know you really want my attention and here I am offering it up to you for free and you still look like I've just cooked your cat."

She rediscovered her ability to form words and the temptation to bash his teeth out was so sweet on her tongue, so sweet in her veins.

"I don't need your attention and I don't want it either. And for your information, you didn't exactly come out of that fight unscathed either." She proclaimed hotly, jaw clenched as hard as her fists. The lie rang so true in her ears that it couldn't be anything but. At least, that's what she told herself. She couldn't want his attention, that just wasn't possible.

"It's true that you hit me in some places but it was beyond sloppy, albeit not something a weakling could pull off." He spoke with a crocked smile, peering down at her. "So make no mistake, you're strong but not strong enough to beat me… and whether you realise it or not, I can read you like a book. A badly written one at that, you cannot hide anything from me... or yourself for that matter."

Kagura didn't know what to say to that. His last words hit her like a train wreck, stealing away the air from her lungs. What could she say? That he was correct? She would rather lose a hundred times over to the sadist than ever admit that Kamui may be right for once. She was just overanalysing things, surely she didn't need her brother. She'd done just fine without him for years now and that wasn't going to change. _'Are you fine though? Are you really okey?',_ a voice whispered from the depths of her mind but Kagura pushed it away, not ready to deal with all the troubles that came with it.

Kamui reached out then, his fingers catching a lose lock of red hair. He twirled it into a small screw-like form and she felt all the more trapped in his calculating eyes.

"I don't want to fight you," she managed to force out of her extremely dry mouth. She didn't know what else to say… or do. She just stood there, very still in confused shock. She was sweaty and cold at the same time. Her blood pulsed with nervousness and anxiety and… something else.

"You know you do, rabbit. You really want to fight me but you're just too afraid. I can help with that, you know… I can teach you control."

Of course she knew what he was referring to and his words almost made her heart stop. Is he serious? Would he really help her…? What would he ask for in return? She felt something funny in the pit of her stomach, like butterflies. He had offered to help her, even for a second… but Kagura knew better than to trust him or his words. However, he was the only one who could help her… if she really cared for those around her. She didn't want to risk hurting them again, Shinpachi was a living, breathing example of her failure. The only other person she could ask was her father and god knows where he was… Kamui was her best bet and maybe she could use this opportunity… to play to her advantages. No matter how much of a turmoil he put her in every time she saw him... The small indistinguishable feeling never left her and it made her want to look away from his face. She knew better than to be hopeful, hopeful for a familiar love she'll probably never receive from him. Still, it was hard to squash that newfound faith.

"Alright…" she muttered under her breath, still unsure about the whole ordeal. She didn't like the feeling of uncertainty… she wasn't used to it. It had always been one way or the other, black or white. Now her world has turned upside down, nothing was for sure. Kagura furrowed her eyebrows and leaned away from him, making him drop the string of hair, he'd been playing around with. It was all so bizarre… him showing up from nowhere like this, it was just too abstract.

"Hang on… how did you find me?" she suddenly blurted out, frowning at him in bewilderment.

Kamui gave her look as if she was the stupidest person alive as he obnoxiously rolled his eyes. He walked over to a nearby tree and took off his grey cloak, carelessly throwing it on the ground. "I only had to ask for a white haired samurai and a crazy little red haired girl with a purple umbrella." He explained as he readjusted his black gloves. "They all couldn't stop talking about this… Yorozuya. Hmph, I can't say i'm impressed really."

"The feeling is mutual, Baka-aniki" she snapped at him with an annoyed grunt. "So you know where I live now…?"

He gave her a seemingly innocent smile and shrugged his shoulders. That was all the confirmation she needed and Kagura felt like sinking into the ground. She made an aggravating noice and covered her face with palm of her hand.

"Hit me."

She flinched a little at the assertive tone to his voice. Her eyes peeked up in puzzlement, meeting his. He looked so serious, even though his lips still had that crooked smile on them. His eyebrows raised themselves in expectation at her lack of movement. "Do as I say, rabbit. Or are you scared…?"

Kagura's eyes narrowed at that, she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Really, brother? Do you think that i'm scared of hitting you? You don't have to provoke me into beating you up. My fist will gladly rearrange your face." her voice cut through the night like a hot knife on butter.

She didn't wait for his response as she charged forward, pulling back her arm and showing off her whitened knuckles. She did as always used to do. Time seemed to stop as her fist made contact with his jaw… his face was thrown sideways but other than that… he didn't budge. She couldn't believe her own eyes… did her punch really affect him so little? Kamui's neck cracked noticeably as he turned his head towards her again, he grasped her wrist but didn't do anything else. He merely held it in a tight grip, his hand was warm and much bigger than hers.

"Do you know why your fist didn't do anything more remarkable?" he asked, one auburn eyebrow raised. His smile widened as way too sharp teeth peeked out.

She could only shake her head, her mouth wide opened and eyes bigger than normal. He put two fingers under her chin and slowly closed her mouth.

"Because you're afraid of hurting people. Even if it's someone you hate, you're afraid of the beast you can become. You're utterly terrified of your own blood, of the yato instincts that follows you around day and night…"

He spoke and spoke, every syllable hit her heart like arrow after arrow. His eyes wouldn't let go of her own, They seemed so knowing, almost calm but a tad bit mocking at the same time. She was flabbergasted by the sheer honesty in his voice that she didn't even stop to think about the intimacy. Kamui's face was so close that she could smell his scent and feel his breathing. His hair smelled of smoke and his breath of vine. Though he had probably been drinking, it was obvious that he wasn't near drunk. After all, she lived with Gin-chan and so she knew what drunk people looked like. Aside from that, he had that precise individual smell that she remembered from her childhood. It was impossible to describe but it almost brought tears to her eyes… it was familiar and nostalgic and she hated how it made her so emotional.

Kagura threw her head to the side, furiously blinking away the treacherous waterworks in her eyes. She decided to focus on the brilliant moon, staring down at her.

"What changed? Why would you help me now when you've left me alone for so long?" she croaked out, lips and tongue dry like the desert.

He was quiet, only looking at her, in her, on her. He chewed on his lip, seemingly thinking hard about his next words.

"You proved to me in yoshiwara that you're not weak, Kagura. You changed my mind about you and made me realise that maybe you're not a complete waste of my time after all." he said to her like it was the most obvious thing in the world, though the crease in his brow and the uncomfortable shifting of his feet told her that it wasn't easy for him to admit his wrongness.

The girl only nodded sullenly at him, taking in his words in large gulps. She didn't know what to feel about them… happy? Sad? Somewhere in between? He disappeared from her vision to stand behind her. Dropping her now relaxed hand and picking up the other, he placed the palm of his own hand on her belly. She tensed and almost jerked back in shook.

"It would be a shame to let such potential go to waste, don't you think?" he murmured behind her.

She wanted to yell at him for standing so close to her but her tongue was too dried out to function properly.

"You can't fight it Kagura. The more you do, the more it tries to take over you. You need to let it be, you need to accept it as a biological part of you," he talked to her, almost whispering in her ear. "That doesn't mean that you should just let it rule over you though. You must coexist with it, view it as your equal and ally. It's not a question about dominance. As long as you remain confident that you're the one in control of your own body, nothing will happen…. But most of all, you must stop being so afraid of hurting people. When you fight someone for real, you must mean it through and through. The one who hesitates on the battlefield will be the first one to die. And if you're dead dear sister, you won't be able to protect anyone."

His words were sugary sweet and rang true in her ears. She hated that he actually had a point. He knew much more about this than she did and that was a bewildering fact. She turned her head a little, her cheek un-deliberately sinking into his soft tunic. His body heat, warming up her cold bones. She felt like she could stay like this forever.

"How do I do that then…? I don't know anything about this," she murmured, unable to handle the revolting vulnerability in her voice.

His hand suddenly pressed harder on her stomach, his fingers digging into the red material of her cheongsam. He lifted up her left hand -the one caged between his fingers- and pressed it lightly to her sternum. It was like he was holding her, hugging her from behind.

"That's what i'm going to teach you now," he responded with a click of his tongue and she swore she could feel his mouth graze her ear.

"Since you've never really "communicated" with your yato blood before, I think several precautions should be set it place." His started to slowly stroke her stomach in a lazy rhythm and Kagura couldn't wrap her head around the sensation.

"You need to relax your body and mind, calm your breathing and let you muscles loosen up. Focus on my voice only."

She tried to do just that but it was awfully hard, considering everything around her. She debated whether or not to ask him to move away since his closeness made it hard to concentrate but ultimately decided against it. She didn't know how to word it without it sounding so strange in her ears. Maybe it just felt good to be held in such a nonviolent manner, no she knew it felt good. Kagura decided to not think too much about it for if she did then she would never be able to relax.

A few minutes passed and slowly but surely she felt more and more calm as she got used to the situation. His patience was a pleasant surprise, one that left her with more questions than she could count. The key was to not think, only taking in the sounds around her. The sound of the forest, the wind, the night owls, leaves rustling in the breeze. The sound of Kamuis breathing and the noise his boots made as he moved them back and forth. What kind of intimate practise was this? She almost felt as if he was lulling her to sleep.

"Alright…" she breathed out, eyes closed and lips half opened.

"Good, now take awareness of your body. The feel of your muscles, reach inside to your core. The place where you usually feel your yato-side wake up from. Do you know that place?"

Kagura knew exactly what he was talking about. She nodded for she didn't feel like forming words and disrupting the quietness in the air.

"It's in your stomach and chest areas right?" he continued and she once again nodded.

She felt the familiar heaviness there, the one she'd felt in yoshiwara. But it was different this time. It laid dormant and drowsy, like it was sleeping. It wasn't a threatening or alien feeling anymore. It was warm like an oven, deep like an ocean and cloudy like the vast sky.

"Wake it up slowly, like unscrewing the lid of a jar. Let it mingle with the rest of your body."

Kagura did as she was told, nodding again since it'd become a practice to do so after hearing his voice.

She imagined poking on it gently, prodding it to let itself go. It took some time but soon enough, she could feel the heat traveling from her stomach and chest to the rest of her body. Reaching into her veins and refilling them with a boiling strength.

"I figured the process would be easier if your stomach was already warmed up," he said, enthusiastically patting her belly like it was some sort of pet.

He moved away then and she discreetly let out a relieved breath. Kamui circled around her, coming to stand by the trunk of a large tree.

Kagura didn't want to think of how unbelievably weird the situation was but it became increasingly harder to not do so. Did he not know how downright strange this was? His words, his behaviour, it set her on edge. Nonetheless, the heated force that coursed through her blood remained calm and even. She was in control and she really wanted to fight something, put her strength to use somehow. It was a raw desire that made everything else seem so unimportant, so little. Still she decided to not act on it yet, she still had some questions that needed answers.

"I guess that's why you touched me then…" She cleared her throat, mentally kicking herself for wording it in such a way. Then again, there really wasn't any other way to say it…

"Yeah of course it was." Kamui responded, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders. Like there wasn't anything strange about it at all… and maybe there wasn't.

Maybe she was just overthinking everything, trying to poke at nonexistent issues… She felt terribly awkward and her cheeks burned red in shame. Did Kamui realise what she'd been thinking of? He must have, he couldn't be that dense.

"Now that you're in control of your strength, you must learn to not hold it back. When you hit something, you must mean for it to hurt, if that is the intent." He spoke in such a professional manner that Kagura was starting to wonder how he knew all this… did the other yatos teach him? Did he have the same problem that she has now? That's doubtful…

Her brother tapped the tree behind him with his pointed knuckles."Can you turn this tree into splinters?"

"Well yes, I could do that splendidly in the first place, you know. And if you stay there, maybe I can add you to the wreckage as well," she mused aloud, smiling sweetly.

"That's good to hear! After all, sooner than later you need to be able to turn someone into mush. You need to handle the feeling of bones breaking under your fingertips, muscles and intestines covering your arms and hands." He gave her a chilling laugh, hitting every nerve. His smile had the charm of a bleeding wound but it left her heated nonetheless.

Kagura wanted to yell at him, to tell him that she wasn't like him and that she didn't believe that violence was the ultimate problem solver but… a voice inside her repeated those blasted words again. ' _The one who hesitates on the battlefield will be the first one to die.'_

Perhaps he was right… if she wanted to protect her loved ones, she needed to adapt to the harsh reality of her situation… and her species. She clenched her jaw and unflinchingly looked Kamui in the eyes. She took comfort in the fact that she would not become a complete maniac like him, someone who fights for the fun of breaking bones. No, she would choose her own battles and she will win all of them, the whole of her, along with her yato blood. It was a new mindset that she would put to use today.

With that in mind, a rush of adrenaline took ahold of her body and she gave Kamui a determined smile.

"Step aside."

He didn't need to hear it twice as the grass rustled beneath his boots when he moved over to the side. Faster then intended, she sprung forward, arm pulled back and hand morphing into a hard fist. Pale blue veins pointed visibly out from her toned muscles. It was as if the ground trembled under her feet when her unforgiving fist met the tree trunk. Big cracks erupted from her knuckles, spreading over the three like wildfire. The branches burst and fell away, thrown back together with the rest of the tree. Wood and leaves flew everywhere and Kagura had to shield her eyes from the passing debris. When the dust had settled, she looked down to only see a pitiful stump at her feet, broken and beaten up.

She turned at the sound of Kamui clapping his hands in an almost relaxed fashion. It would've appeared as mocking if it weren't for the very real smile adoring his features. His ocean eyes were big and filled with mirth. His grin, was so wide it might as well cleave his head in two, sharp teeth illuminated in the moonlight. Everything about him stood out in that moment. His shadowed eyes, his ivory teeth and pallid skin, his glowing hair and tinted lips. Kagura had never thought of him as beautiful before but now, the word fit together with him like missing puzzle pieces. It was just so overwhelming that she didn't quite know what to do with herself.

Hot adrenaline still pumped through her veins and it was hard to keep still. A crazy thought invaded her mind then, a reckless idea. She didn't have the willpower to come up with any argument as to why it was a stupid idea to just follow her impulses. She was already warmed up after all… why shouldn't she? It was way to get answers and maybe even throw him off guard.

Kagura let out a long sigh, longer and deeper than intended. Her fingers frantically tapped against her thigh, her chest rising and falling with rhythmic ease. She felt powerful, in control, confident… completely calm and collected with the situation.

"I found a bruise on my neck, it's gone now but it looked quite peculiar." She blinked, her eyes looking like big blue stars in the night. She cocked her head to the side, an innocent and childlike gesture."Almost like a hickey."

She observed the way his lips twitched, eyebrows falling down to his narrowed eyes. Kagura didn't know what to make of the image but she wasn't going to let him know that. She was going to play him at his own game, even if the unveiled truth might unsettle her…

"Whenever I bring it up with… well anyone that was in yoshiwara, they always seemed uncomfortable. Like they knew something they wasn't sure how to share with me…"

She started walking forward, ever so slowly, her heart nearly jumping out of her chest by each step.

"Do you have any idea-" she cautiously continued but were quickly cut off by Kamui's voice cracking in the air like flames.

"Do you often have hickeys then?" His face was a picture of displeasure, of something close to anger. He was completely jumping over the point. She froze in her movements, watching him in shock as he himself started moving forward. "Since you seem so familiar with them, how they look, how they feel… Have you ever been with anyone? Or are you maybe still a virgin?" Twigs broke in two under his feet as he creeped closer, an intense look swimming in his sea-blue eyes.

"But I guess you're with someone right? After all, you're a pretty girl and I find it hard to believe that you've remained single this entire time. Let me guess… is it that four eyed disaster, whose arm you broke?" He stood before her now with a mocking smirk, never quite reaching his ill-tempered eyes. "Shinpachi, was it not?" His hissing tone prickled her skin like needles and sent shivers down her spine.

Even through her obviously unpleasant position, Kagura was torn between crying or laughing. Kamui for once, was like an open book before her eyes. The sneer on his lips, pulled back to reveal his shining teeth… the dark, brooding look in his eyes, locking much like storm clouds… she could see it all. Instead of correcting his ridiculous words, she merely raised an eyebrow, warm adrenaline still pumping through her veins and clouding her reason.

"Are you jealous, Baka-aniki?"

The collar of her cheongsam made a ripping noise as he gripped it with two strong hands. Everything went so fast. She imagined her instincts and strength would be greatly improved after that… little session. Apparently, she was mistaken... Her feet left the ground, swinging in the air as he catapulted her away into a bush. Twigs and thorns and leaves ripped through her hair and clothes, scratching her skin. It wasn't enough to make her bleed or even bruise her but she felt it all the same. Now Kagura was pissed and with barely contained fury, she picked up a loose branch from the dirty ground and threw it his way. He sidestepped the incoming wood but she could hardly care. Clumsily rising up from the deformed bush, she harebrained plucked the twigs and petals from her clothes and hair. He'd thrown her away for a reason… he had reacted to something she'd said. A clean-cut smile painted her lean lips and her eyes shaped themselves into almonds.

"Was that a yes or no?" Kagura never thought she could be this confident in front of her big brother, especially not after being tossed into a bush… but here she is.

She was taunting him, teasing him, all against her better judgment. Kamui wasn't someone to play around with, she knew that. Still, that piece of logic echoed inside her head without any real reaction to it, she just didn't care as much. Did all yatos feel like this after -for a lack of a better word- bonding with their instincts? Did they all become as reckless.

"Why do you care? Is this something you lay awake at night wondering over?" his tone was cold and menacing. It contorted her throat, smothering her with its malice.

"Are you really so hung up on me, that you'll spend time thinking of whether or not I actually care about you at all? Do you really think I like you enough to be jealous? Truly, if that's what plaques your mind then maybe you are a weakling after all."

His nasty tone could almost be described as deranged. It bites into her skin, leaving bloody marks and digging up the hidden fragility underneath. How is it possible to go from beyond confident to an insecure, angry mess in mere seconds? She did not know how he could do that to her, something no one else could achieve. She did know that she couldn't hold back the words building up on her tongue.

"I care because I fucking love you! Even though I hate your goddamn guts, I still care about you! How can you suggest that you don't care about me when you clearly came here thinking about me?!" Her voice was blithe and cut into her throat as it clawed it's way out of her mouth. She felt like screaming until she woke up the whole universe, even if it would damage her lungs.

"I know that you care because you wouldn't be standing here if you didn't! Are you just saying this shit to get a rise out of me? Just like before?!" Kagura truly didn't know how to stop whilst she was ahead. She felt like ranting at her brother, to finally point out the fucked up things he's done to her. She was boiling hot with repressed anger, letting it leak out of her in waves. Now was the prefect time to scream at him, she thought as adrenaline rushed through her veins. To confront him, to have some sort of closure.

"All that happened in yoshiwara was your fault! You pushed me to the edge. You made it clear that your only intention was to see me hurt both myself and those around me. You almost killed me on that pipe!"

Kamui stood in silence, furiously staring at her. A sickly smile spread across his lips, making them look thin and bloodless. It never reached his eyes, who were glued onto anything other than her tear stained face. His grin reminded her of a noose.

"I didn't mean to hit you that hard. I thought you would get away or block it. The whole pipe wasn't meant to break like that, I didn't intend to put so much force behind it, it just happened." His lips barely moved as he spoke, his tone was low and curt.

Distrust filled her blue eyes with even more tears. "You're lying..."

His own eyes finally found hers and he held her gaze, steady so.

"Believe it or not Kagura, but that blow was never meant to be fatal. I was focusing on the wrong things..."

She could barely hear the crushing of the leaves as he stalked closer, growing taller by each step. She kept the remainder of her tears at bay, not willing to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry anymore.

"You see that's the thing with you. I can't even trust your words, I don't know when you're lying or not. I can never trust you again, not after you broke that trust 10 years ago."

Her voice cracked in two and even though she didn't let her tears fall, she could hardly see it as a victory. Kamui stood before her, only a few feet apart.

"I'm not asking you to trust me... You shouldn't trust anyone," Kamui said, his voice sounded so soft and so gentle, it was unreal.

He reached out, touching her chin and stroking her lips. A gesture even she would describe as caring. Was this all an act? That familiar scent invaded her senses again and it was suddenly all too much. Silent tears streamed cautiously down her cheeks, gathering on her lips and subsequently on his thumb. She couldn't stop them and soon her body trembled with each uneven in-take of air. She felt breathless.

"Even though i'm deeply flattered that you harbour such strong feelings for me..., watching you cry is not the reason i came here, rabbit." His hand suddenly felt cold against her face as it pretty much covered her whole jaw. His fingers closed in on her flushed cheeks as he tilted her head up to meet his eyes. His eyes, turbulent and vulgar, yes he was enjoying this very much.

"I came here to spar with you and you better make it worth it. I have little more than a week here on this dump of a planet and it's dreadfully boring so just follow my orders, little sister and entertain me." That malicious smile graced his features again and Kagura once again felt that heat rise in her, a hot-blooded fire.

His rough hand tightened around her jaw and her tears were blown away by the passing wind. She gripped his wrist, nails unmercifully digging into his fair skin. With a strong and precise kick to his solar plexus, Kagura successfully threw him off her and she had to stop to marvel at the completeness of the experience. Once again, she felt way stronger and more sure of her actions than before and she meant to put it to good use.

Kamui responded in kind and soon enough, they were both evading and receiving blows, circling each other like animals in heat. He always kept her on her toes, never letting her rest with his well aimed attacks that she couldn't see until the last seconds. Soon her limbs ached in sweetness, her blood screamed out in bliss and her skin broke and bruised itself. Her breathing felt impossibly loud and sweat adored her ever working muscles. She wasn't exhausted yet but she knew that if she kept this up for another hour, her body would eventually be worn out for the night. Her brother on the other hand, didn't look affected at all... after all he's got more training in his years, more experience than she'd ever had. He wasn't going completely all out but he was still more serious than expected. Brute strength played a key role but it had something to do with tactics as well. Leading on your opponent, predicting their movements, luring them into a spider's web. Even this was giving her a hard time. No doubt, this was the most intense spar she've ever had. The sadist didn't even come close to this. The ground below them cracked in small craters, trees went flying in all directions and the nighttime was filled with noise.

Kagura didn't know how long they fought but somewhere along the spar, the moon disappeared behind the full clouds, casting them in darkness. Her eyes adjusted well enough to the shadows and she relied purely on instinct. Though, it was manageable, she still didn't like fighting an unseen opponent. She wasn't used to it and her yato senses could only take her so far. Again Kamui had much more experience, he was the more durable of the two. She barely avoided a blow to her head, tripped backwards and inconveniently slammed straight into a tree. She quickly thought about climbing the tree, using it as a hiding spot but her knees bent under her as they received a powerful kick from nowhere. Kagura landed on the ground only to jump up again and headbutt what she believed to be somewhere between his eyes. A hiss of complaint and someone staggering backwards, reached her ears and she skilfully rose up, bolting away from his shadowy from. Kagura didn't want to think of this as a game of cat and mouse... she didn't want to believe that she looked like a scared little rabbit to any onlooker... But let's be real, she probably did.

She ran as quiet as possible, skimming up a broad tree and settled herself securely on a branch, keeping her in place with her thighs on either side. She looked through the green mass of leaves, her eyes peeking up at any sign or sound of movement. It must've looked ridiculous but she did actually have a plan... sort of. Once she believed Kamui to be directly under her tree, she was to jump down and at least try to land on his shoulders. It was to give her the element of surprise and prime opportunity to suffocate him with her thighs as well as landing blows to his head. She had to be fast though.

Maybe Kagura was too focused on what was in front of her to realise how quiet it had become. No more rustling leaves, snapping twigs and crunching rocks. Just breathing, something she at first thought to be her own but it was a tad too deep and when she felt something blowing by her hair, she froze. Like a deer in headlights, she slowly turned around, looking up to see where the breaths came from. She could tell it was Kamui by the silhouette and his familiar grin, teeth scintillating like great pearls in the dark. His eyes were wide opened and shone in a bright azure light, it seemed so unnatural. Even though she knew it was him, it still scared the hell out of her and she scrambled to get down. Seriously, did he know just how creepy he could be?

A shocked yell escaped her mouth as he slammed her down on the thick branch, face down with his hands slanted over her back. It was a bit hard to breathe from the pressure and she struggled in futile attempts to rise up. Kamui kept her down with the palms of his hands and leaned down to her ear. He didn't say anything yet though, just let out a low chuckle. Kagura closed her eyes as shivers ran down her spine from the warm air hitting the side of her face. He was very close to her, she could feel his heat through her clothes, as he practically was leaning over her.

She honestly didn't know what to feel about it. A part of her wanted to bash his teeth out for being so intimate with her and another part just wanted to somehow turn around and hug him, never wanting to let go. She's just the same old crybaby, needing her brother's love no matter what. A bile rose in her throat at that thought, a nausea settling in her stomach. She almost cried at the accuracy of that, no matter what, Kagura was still sensible to her brothers touch and voice. Everything hit her hard... but maybe it would pass soon... After all, no matter what he said, he came here for some sort of closure, she was sure of that. He did care about her... to an extent but that would do for the time being. He would come around with time... surely. Why else would he take his time to explain why he'd almost killed her back on that pipe? Why else would he offer to help her? It's totally out of his character. He must have felt some sort of remorse or guilt... some unhinged and mad sort, but it was there nonetheless. In the way he couldn't look in her eyes or her face... He must care, he must, he must.

"I do believe this is where you lose, rabbit." Kamui snickered evilly, his breath tickling her nape and waking her from her inner dispute.

She was a bit angry at herself for spacing out like that and she forced a smile, craning her neck to get a look at him... only to get a red braid in her face. She sputtered a little as the vermillion tresses got in her nose and mouth. To her irritation, Kamui only chuckled more at her disgruntled expression.

"I do believe you're wrong, baka-aniki," she bit out keeping her cool.

She didn't give him time to answer as her knuckles pressed down on the wood under her. It started to crack under the pressure and soon enough the whole branch made a loud noise as it shook to pieces, falling down with both of them in tow. It collided to splinters under them, as they met the ground. The air left her lungs from literally being crushed under the weight of redhead above her. His head knocked into hers and he made a sharp inhalation, followed by a comedic "Ouch."

He rolled off her with a crack and Kagura wheezed out a dry cough. Trying to breathe normally, she made to sit up, trying to work her limbs into function again. Though she felt a pair of hands taking ahold of her forearms, helping her up. She knew that Kamui smiled for it was the only thing she could see, besides his gleaming eyes. They stood out like blue waters, like frozen depths, caging her and drowning her. The nighttime had really come into its own, she could hardly see anything that the moon didn't shine upon.

The fact that Kamui had helped her up was odd in itself but she had at least expected him to let go of her arms... something he had yet to accomplish. In fact, as she looked at him, his smile seemed to twitch and change, although it remained the same. It just didn't look the same anymore. It looked feverish and somewhat exhilarated or excited. She tugged at her arms but his grip wouldn't budge, his nails digging into her forearms. As much as she wanted to confront him, she just couldn't move a muscle, her tongue laid clenched between her teeth. She felt rather handicapped, frozen almost. Kagura stared at him as he cocked his head to the side.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked and she was mute, speechless for what felt like whole minutes.

What did he mean exactly? Leave? Leave her? Leave her again? The words " _No don't leave me_ " laid on her tongue but she couldn't seem to spit them out. They actually got tangled up as something invaded her.

But it didn't feel like an invasion, even though it should have. It was warm and wet and he was just suddenly very, very close. But she didn't feel like bashing his teeth out, even though she really should have. Really, really, really... she should run. Kagura really was about to, she would've bolted away, if he wasn't holding her, if she hadn't been so unbelievably shocked. Her lips parted on their own behalf and he ate her up, consumed her bit by bit. He bit her lip, bit her tongue, bit her heart and she bled more and more. Normally she would have abruptly pulled away from the stinging pain. She would have slapped him across the face and nurse her bleeding mouth. She didn't though. The logic never reached the frontline of her mind. She just didn't feel like it. It was like all feeling had left her. Her head was in the clouds, floating, levitating, dying. He bit her again and her teeth reacted in turn, biting him back. Not hard enough though. She couldn't feel a thing. It was teeth and tongue and blood and it was horribly addicting. Sickening so.

He let her go and she could breathe again. They stood close but she didn't dare to open her eyes. She knew what they'd done and just how forbidden and horrible it was. What would papi say? Or Gin-chan? Or Shinpachi? Guilt ate at her insides and she wanted to sink through the ground. Didn't you hate him? What happened with that? Kagura could have easily pushed Kamui away, she was strong even against him. But she didn't and she really didn't have any explanation for it. She took in a shuddering breath, in sync with Kamui. Her eyes finally opened, blue sapphires staring up at him. She couldn't manage that for long and opted to break eye contact, a couple of times. Her wide eyes, flickered back and forth, from his eyes, to his hands and into the darkness behind him. He looked too strange, so warped. His eyes were half lidded, lips stained red. It didn't look like he was in an inner conflict like herself, he didn't seem guilty or even thoughtful. He looked to be all-knowing, silently laughing at. His eyes reminded her of a calculating snake, a hungry cobra, waiting to strike. He exhaled again and his breath foamed at her face as they shared each others air.

Kagura wasn't known for her impact thinking and even though she felt overwhelmingly guilty and horrified at what just occurred, those troubling facts were pushed back to another corner of her mind. She wanted to feel him again... it was interesting, she'd never done something like this before and just like many other Yatos, her impulses and instincts ruled her every move. Logic would come later to strangle her in her sleep. Maybe it had to do with her being completely connected with her Yato blood or maybe it was something else, but when their lips met a second time, she once again did nothing to stop him. She was sure that if Kamui was going to hell for all his many misdeeds then she would be right behind him.

His hands creeped over her body, nails sinking into her waist and digging through her red hair. She gripped his dark changshan, leaning into him. She wouldn't call it kiss, couldn't call it a kiss... No it was just another battle. She refused to call it anything else. Kagura stumbled back as he pushed forwards, slamming her into a tree. She felt rather out of place and a moan released itself from her contorted throat. Her eyes closed in mortification. His hands were everywhere at once, her waist, her chest, her neck, her backside and it made her shudder. She was happy they were in the dark, it made everything much easier. His lips moved down to her ear and she could hear how deep his breaths were, how masculine he sounded. His mouth traveled down to her neck and she felt as if she might as well faint. He bit down with teeth worthy of a rabid animal and she just knew he had pierced skin again.

She gasped, a drugged-out look in her glossy eyes, her whole body twitched in reaction. In the end, her neck felt sore and chilly. Well now she knew for sure who gave her that hickey. But she knew this couldn't go on, it shouldn't go on... she would have to address it somehow... which was bloody hard. She didn't want to speak or even make any noises at all. She almost didn't want to be noticed. If anything, she wanted to hide, to dissolve.

"W-why are you doing this... Kamui?" she managed to stutter out, breathing hard and fast.

He picked her up and placed her legs around his waist, something rock-hard pressed against her. She made an embarrassing noise, her mouth suddenly dry, her mind, racing. The collar of her cheongsam was already ripped from before and it just looked totally ruined now from having his hands run over it. Her pale collarbone and the top of her cleavage, peaked out in the dark. She was glad that he'd picked her up because she probably would've just crumbled to the ground if not... but now, she could really feel him.

"Because i want to." It sounded so easy, the way he said it. Like he didn't care about her at all.

"Why? Why do you even want this...? D-dont you know who i am?" she almost cried out against his shoulder as he moved his hips against hers, his hands, impatiently undoing her garments. She should do something, anything.

"I know who you are, dear sister but i honestly couldn't give a shit. It's not like moral codes have ever stopped me from getting what I want. In fact, I find it more exhilarating if it's forbidden."

That was enough. It had to be. His voice cut into her petrified body like a hot knife, melting her down like ice cream. She needed to do something about this before she lost her will completely.

"Let go of me or i won't ever come back to you," she bit out, her voice shaking.

She needed time to think for herself, this was just not the way to go... it wasn't right, none of it was.

"Tssk, you're only fooling yourself here. Who will teach you control then? If you walk away now, you're only going to hurt all the precious Shinpachi's of the world," he mockingly said as he bent down and traced her earlobe with his mouth.

His hand went over to her torn collar and started to rip at it further, his teeth biting down on her ear and leaving marks. No matter how utterly weak she felt right now, it didn't stop her and she wouldn't budge from her position. Nevertheless, she was a bit amused at the obvious fact that he was still hung up on the whole idea of Shinpachi being something romantic to her... It was disturbing.

"Tomorrow, same place, same time. You won't do anything without asking me first but you will help nonetheless. Promise me that Kamui."

His movements stilled and she watched as his jawline clenched, his eyes narrowed into slits. Breathing hard from through his nose, he was quiet for the longest time, not really looking at her and opted to stare into the tree above her. Then he seemed to give in, finally. He looked back at her with an irritated half-smile,

"Oh anything for my baby sister... even though i don't think she's in a position to make demands here." Kamui leaned down as his hand stalked up the side of her thigh, obviously still trying. She inhaled sharply and a smell of smoke and masculinity, assaulted her senses again. He needed to let her go.

"Though you have to promise me something in return, rabbit." He suddenly said, a serious look in his blue depths.

"What?" She asked, her tone vary.

"When the time comes for me to fight your other samurai, the one with white hair, you will not get in my way."

She just stared at him and it was clear to the eye that he really meant it. She furrowed her brows, pretending to think about it.

"Deal," she heaved out a sigh, knowing full well that she wouldn't hold that promise. He narrowed his eyes into slits once again, a quiet storm brewing, he knew her too well.

"Good girl." He said then with a predatory grin, seemingly dropping it for now. The unsaid words were clear to both of them. 'If you lie, i'll make you regret it.'

His dark eyes and sadistic grin scared her a bit but not too much, she was used to it by now. When he leaned down again, his intentions clear, she almost met him halfway. She'd already forgotten about her stance and thus was in part happy for what happened next... but it didn't make it any less frightening.

"What the hell is this?" An unknown voice broke out in the night, coming from behind Kamui.

Kagura froze up like a statue, knuckles turned white as she clutched at her brothers collar like her life depended on it. They both stayed silent and listened, a braid got in her face when he craned his neck around, casting a glance behind him.

"It looks like a bloody battlefield, no wonder the whole neighbourhood complained." Another voice said and Kagura was actually starting to recognise the voices.

"This fucking sucks, we shouldn't get called out for this."

"Well what the hell are you doing here then?"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Maybe you picked the wrong job."

"The fuck did-" The arguing voices were cut off by another more authoritative voice. "Shut the fuck up and do your job or you'll both lose it."

Apparently they both did shut up for he continued and by now Kagura knew who it was... and she really needed to get out of there, not to mention Kamui too for that matter.

"It was obviously done by some sort of Amanto... let's just look around and if we don't find anything, we will leave." The finality of his tone ended any further discussions and soon the footsteps started to come closer, she quickly tried to push Kamui away.

"Fucking move!" she hissed out against his damn braid which was still dangling in her face like a goddamn mistletoe. She tried to look over his shoulder and it was by now that she realised that her legs were still wrapped around his waist, his thumbs digging into her thighs. She could hear people moving closer and she was beginning to get something close to hysterical.

"Don't tell me what to do," he told her blatantly, looking at her like she'd just spawned three heads.

Kagura was no fool however, it was obvious that he was very, very agitated and if anything, it reminded her more of an angry dog than anything else.

"I do believe it's the Shinsengumi... i wonder if they have any strong people hmm." He mused aloud, a smile on his still stained lips. "I should just kill them all either way." The fake smile that sat plastered on his face never left and it started to give off sickening vibes.

"No don't!" she almost yelled aloud, eyes wide like plates. "Let's just leave, I'll go home and you return to wherever the hell your ship is and nothing fucking happens alright?"

Her brother just stared at her, his brows drawn low and his eyes brooding, he did not look happy. There was a tension in his jaw and his lips drew themselves into a thin line but eventually he let her go and her feet landed once again on the ground. He took a step back but he wouldn't go that easily.

"You know i have no qualms with killing these puny creatures right now but this is a discreet mission that forbids me from going on any major massacre so count yourself lucky. Though I really don't understand why you even care about them, rabbit." His hand closed in around her throat, caressing it like it was a pet animal. "Remember, same place, same time and if you don't show, I'll always know where I can find you."

There was a hidden warning in his tone and the bloody kiss he left at her chin, felt far from platonic as she was sure she'd felt his tongue. Nevertheless, Kagura found herself feeling oddly disappointed when they parted and he left her standing there without as much as a word.

"Baka-aniki..." she muttered under her breath, overwhelmed with feelings of self-loathing. She would have to take a long shower later, as if that would wipe the sin away.


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's note:** So I've been gone for some time but the story is not near abandoned! I have been sick and struggled with motivation and such but i'm back now! Yayyy However, i shouldn't push myself, like i'm multitasking like crazy and i know i need to calm down. So basically i have decided that i will try to upload as much as possible but know my limitations. I've just started on another fic and it's so unnecessary but i can't help myself. I started reading Silmarillion by Tolkien and fell headfirst into middle earth hell. So i got a bunch of inspiration and started writing a Fanfic that plays out in The Hobbit. Okey okey, i know you don't care about that but i wanted to let you know why I've been swallowed up by the ground for some time. I got some new ideas for this fic as well, i just need to divide my time a bit. Anyways on with the story for those few who are actually reading these notes! :)

 **chapter four**

suspicions arise

Gintoki's Pov:

To say that Sakata Gintoki was worried was an understatement. He was quite literally shitting bricks. It had been well over an hour now and Kagura hadn't been back yet. Sadaharu was going crazier by the minute, pacing the living room like something wild.

"Stupid dog," he muttered under his breath.

It wasn't unusual for Kagura to be out training for long periods of time but this long was not normal, especially not when it was this late. Surely, she wouldn't be gone for more than an hour if she knew dinner was being made? Seriously that brat would sell her soul for sukombu... Nevertheless, something was very wrong and Gintoki could have punched a baby for the unimaginable frustration he felt now. The dog whined once more and he was just about to throw a magazine on it when Shinpachi walked out of the kitchen.

"She will come back if she's hungry... but if not... then maybe we should go look for her. Did she take her phone with her?"

"No she left it here... Tssk, the brat better turn up soon or she will go bed on an empty stomach," Gin cussed out, glaring holes on the front door.

He really didn't feel like going out in that weather.

Just at that moment, the door swung to the side and Kagura walked in with a robotic, unreadable expression on her face. Her umbrella was swung over her shoulder and she looked absolutely terrible, like she'd been in a vicious fight recently. She had mud and grime everywhere. Her dress was torn at the collar and one bruised hand held it together at the front as to not let it fall away. Her hair stood everywhere, unkempt with some leaves stuck to it. A pale cheekbone had a fresh cut on it as well as a bloody imprint of something unidentifiable. Her lips were slightly swollen and noticeably torn, bleeding down her chin to her bruised neck. The girls hair covered up most of them but Gintoki already had a fair idea of what they were. It brought him back to that horrible time in yoshiwara... Kagura's brother.

Voices rose around him, Shinpachi's disbelieving and shocked tone and Kagura's own grumpy and defensive one. Gin stayed quiet though, too occupied with his own thoughts.

"Where the hell have you been and why do you look like... like that?!"

"Tssk, I've been training, idiot. I told you that before i went out."

The girl stepped out of her boots and started to walk over to her room without even sparing the the two men a look.

"With who? You can't get that hurt from punching trees." Shinpachi prodded, unconvinced.

"Sougo." Was all the redhead said before closing the door to her bedroom with a bang.

Shinpachi seemed to drop it at that and stepped back into the kitchen with an irritated frown over his face. Gin did not feel convinced in the least. Kagura would never let herself become that roughed up from someone like Sougo, that just never happened. Those bruises on her neck... one doesn't get them from a punch or a chokehold. No, those bruises were bite marks they looked just like the one she got from that madcap of a brother.

Surely he was just overanalysing things? There just couldn't be anything... of that sort between them right? It just wasn't possible. Maybe it just was a yato tradition, something to do after a victory or conquest... that would make more sense actually. From what he'd heard from Umibozu, the elder sibling seems to be pretty into the more outdated ones. Nevertheless, if Kamui was on earth then the harusame fleet was here as well... or at least the seven division. That would hardly go unnoticed right?

Gin snapped out of his musings when the bedroom door swung open and Kagura stepped out, a change of clothes under her arm. She went straight for the bathroom, seemingly deep in thought as well.

He watched her disappear behind the door and heard the click of the lock. Maybe he was just overreacting. After all, why would she lie and say it was Sougo anyway? Unless it really was him. Kagura wasn't a liar and she knew that if the harusame was close by, people better know about it. Maybe not him but at least the Shinsengumi...

Also, those bruises could have been anything, it wasn't like he got a good look at it. It was probably dirt or something. Gin decided to drop the entire subject, it was too troublesome to deal with. However, the next time he saw Umibozu, he would make sure to ask him about that son of his.

...

Kagura's Pov:

Kagura tends to always shower in as hot water as possible. Due to her yato heritage, the boiling heat doesn't affect her as much as it would any other species. The bathroom were filled up with steam, fogging the mirrors and windows. There she stood amongst the condensation, scrubbing her body raw with soap, as if that could wash away the sin. Blood and dirt ran down her skin, mixing with the water and colouring it into a dark pinkish hue. Kagura thought she would at least cry but no tears came... It's like they had all dried up behind her gloomy blue eyes. It made sense though. She'd already shed too many tears to count for her wretched brother, there just weren't any more left. Weeping wouldn't make anything easier.

She had to face the issue, the uncomfortable truth. Kamui had -amongst other things- kissed her and she didn't do anything to stop it when she very well knew she could. She'd even returned it, she held him close and savoured his taste. She enjoyed it and to be bluntly honest, she still wanted more... After all, now is not the time to be blissfully delusional.

Kagura almost crushed the soap between her fingers. Surely this is just temporary... she's just sexually frustrated or something... It made sense, she'd never been with anyone before and Kamui just happened to be there... Especially when her yato blood was in a rush like that, it made her reckless, more keen to follow her more animalistic impulses. It will blow over if she just focus on her training the upcoming days.

Kamui will be there to guide her yes, but he said he wouldn't do anything unless she asks for it. For some reason, she found herself genuinely believing him... even though she knew it was foolish. Something just told her that it was for real this time, no ulterior motive, no deception. He had changed in her eyes, it just wasn't the same anymore. He actually cared about her, it had been made clear in the woods before and that was good enough for her. Maybe he cared a little too much about her, which was beyond... strange.

Incest was just as common with yatos as it were with the humans, aka: not at all. However, unlike mankind, it was still legal because their kind didn't suffer from the same genetic disorders as the earthlings. Even so, love between closely related individuals was rarely seen amongst their people and some folks would deem it unnatural and morally wrong. It was seen as a way to isolate their family from the rest of the community, not mating with non-related folks. It was a breeding ground of distrust.

The gut feeling of taboo hung in her stomach like poison. No doubt, everyone she knew would be disgusted this whole ordeal... they would be disgusted by her, by Kamui... Due to that crippling fear, she would have to keep this secret... for as long as necessary.

Stepping out of the shower, clean and fresh, Kagura quickly began drying herself. The clothes she'd brought with her was her normal pink pyjamas, a bit childish but it was her favourite. She dressed quickly and threw her hair up in the towel. Wiping away the fog from the mirror, she took in her appearance with a troubled mind. Cursing her brother, she grudgingly began to clean the wound on her lip and neck. The collar of her pyjamas would cover up most of the bruises, as would most of her clothes. Either way, they would heal rather quickly no matter what. She probably didn't have to worry too much.

Deciding that her eggplant needed some water, she stepped out of the heated bathroom and into the cold hallway. Kagura looked over to Gin who was still on the sofa and then to Shinpachi who seemed to be rearranging his manga.

"Is the food ready?"

She dropped her dirty clothes in the laundry basket, save for the cheongsam which was too damaged. She would have to throw it away.

"Yeah, it's been ready for quite some time now..." Shinpachi's grumpy voice could be heard from his nerd collection. "We saved you enough of it though."

"I hope so, housewife," Kagura teased as she walked away to the kitchen, dropping her ruined clothes in the garbage can on the way.

Her eggplant could wait, she really was hungry...

...

"It may die though."

The bacon sandwich froze just in front of his mouth, leaving it hanging open.

"I put my heart and soul in that plant, china. How hurtful..." he almost scoffed at her, taking a big chunk of the bread.

Kagura watched in mild disinterest.

"Not my problem." She leaned back against the tree, her limbs not even bit sore from their sparring session.

Her body had always been beyond durable due to her yato heritage but now because of her newfound communication with her yato blood, it became even more so. Sougo was quite strong after all, he had a habit of sniffing out her weak points and she always felt a little spent after their training session. Not anymore though and it's all thanks to Kamui...

"Up for another round?" She smiled at him, standing up, full of energy.

Kagura walked over to a tree, taking a branch and breaking it off like a twig. Sougo looked only a little disturbed.

"Now? We just had an hour long spar, are you sure?" His mouth was still full of food, which made him look quite like a hamster.

"Are you sure, sadist? You look a bit faint..." She smirked at him, a teasing glint in her eye.

He did not take the bait. Okita Sougo just kept on eating his sandwich, looking away from her.

"Yesterday, we found an incident in the forest just outside the district, not to long from your place... The trees were scattered like leaves and there were whole craters in the ground." His eyes scanned her knowingly. "You did that right?"

She creased her brows, fidgeting before huffing, a defensive look marring her features.

"What about it?" Her fingers dug into the thick branch, making it creak in complains.

"You weren't alone." Sougo's eyes seemed to gleam red in the sunlight, a grin stretching over his face.

Kaguras laugh came out a bit too fast and bit too loud, almost hysterical and her brain raised with ways to escape this situation.

"I was alone, just blowing of some steam! You don't think i'm capable of that damage by myself? That's kinda degrading you know..."

She dropped the branch, nonchalantly strolling over to the policeman who still had a piece of salad on his lip.

"You are just underestimating me, which is bad form, policeman."

He still did not look convinced, in fact he seemed rather pissed off.

"You're a dirty liar." He took one last bite of his sandwich, swallowing it down.

"What makes you so sure?" she bit out, the naps of her neck broke out in cold sweat.

Sougo rose up to her level and his eyes narrowed down on her, the leaves rustled under his boots.

"We found footprints, much too large to be yours."

"Well obviously someone was there before me."

The two youths stared hard at each other, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. Kagura tried to look only mildly irritated.

"I need to walk Sadaharu and besides you shouldn't spar right after eating anyway," she said with a raised eyebrow. "Go ahead and play detective with someone else, sadist."

Kagura praised herself for taking the smart route of walking away, otherwise she would have spilled at least something. She didn't want anyone to know that Kamui was on earth, truth to be told, she was a bit ashamed of him. Not only that but his presence brought her only problems... well except for the fact that he could actually teach her a thing or two.

The rest of the day went by peacefully enough, once she got home, she took out Sadaharu to the park. A dog big enough to ride had its perks as it kept most people away. Maybe she had become more antisocial since yoshiwara, that could always be a possibility.

Once she got home, she decided that she actually needed some fun and which means bullying Shinpachi.

...

Kamui's Pov:

Once you've done it enough times, killing is just like any other action. Like stepping on ants or stretching your limps after a blood curdling battle. Only it's ten times more fun. The ecstasy you get, the rush, well it's enough to make anyone an addict. Kamui was an addict and his fix was the ripping of limbs, the splatter of blood and the feel of bones crushing under his boots. An excellent way of blowing off steam, one he had constantly practiced through his years, ever since he was 8 years old.

It had all started in the fighting pits in the slums, where drunk people gambled away their pay checks on a good bloodshed. It had been a fun activity and he actually earned a bit of money on it as well. The fighting pits had been the only place where he could blow off steam back in the day. He had connected with his yato blood very early in life and it paid off. The only one who could possibly be his match was Umibouzu and he was itching to find out who would come out on top. His hand twitched from the thought, clenching in a deadly angle.

His sister on the other hand, liked to think she was his match but surely even she couldn't be that stupid. She constantly acted like she stood a chance and yeah she had improved and would continue to do so for as long as he was teaching her but maybe she needed to be taught a proper lesson first.

"P-plea-se d-d-don't-" the human stammered out, his words were almost unintelligible.

A pink overweight little human, laid trembling on the ground. He sniffed as snot and tears stained his face and Kamui gave a cruel smirk. He placed his foot on his thick neck, pressing down on his windpipe. A choked gasp escaped his mouth, it fell open as he fought for air he wouldn't get. The twisted smile on the redhead's face creeped wider with the pledge of atrocities. He pressed down harder on his throat and suddenly a noticeable crack could be heard as his neck was crushed. He made no sound as blood seeped out of his mouth. Kamui lifted his foot and saw the misshapen and deformed flesh. He stomped down his foot again and flatly severed his head. Red bloomed out and tainted his shoes, Kamui inhaled the smell of death with a relaxed aura.

The Harusume pirates went on to raid the man's little house. The man had been a drug dealer and he sat on some very important directions. Directions towards the "goods" his bosses wanted to get their hands on. Kamui didn't like his job at times like this.

His fleet was most useful on the battlefield, not doing errands no matter how important the endgame was. It was insulting.

"Captain, we have found a letter with the directions. The drugs are located in Yoshiwara, he was supposed to meet someone there to sell them off tomorrow," Abuto said, coming up to him with a document in his hand.

Kamui grabbed it and scanned through it.

"Very well, we will head over there and se who his buyers is then," he said putting the paper away in his pocket.

The time of the supposed sale crashed with the time he was supposed to meet Kagura... very well, maybe he could direct her towards Yoshiwara instead, that could be fun. After all, he had such fond memories from that place.

The rest of the day went on quietly enough, there were other goods they needed to claim, such as alcohol, weapons and more drugs. Truly the black market flourished with their helping hand. As dusk was drawing near, his men went back to the ship, occupying themselves with training and keeping the spaceship in order. Kamui spent his time in by the window, watching silently as the sky painted itself into a pinkish palette with flashes of light red. It reminded him of Kagura's hair, it was always lighter than his.

He had to leave for Yoshiwara soon. On his way there, he figured he should leave a message for her and see if she shows up or not. She better be though, or he would crash her house.


	6. Chapter 5

**Authors note:**

Okey so where do I begin... Well first of all, hi to all those that are still here against all odds. Honestly, the hiatus has been a long one and I don't know what to say about it. Lots of things has happened in my life and in short: I became really depressed for quite sometime. Anyone of you that have struggled with depression knows how it can absolutely wreck your entire life. I live in Sweden also and well, it's pretty darn easy to become depressed up here (especially nowadays). I've struggled with depression my entire life, ever since I was a child. So that puts pressure on my motivation to do things that I enjoy, it sucks but... oh well.

I stayed up some nights ago and read all of your lovely reviews and it seriously brought tears to my eyes. I cried like a little girl, it was so jarring. I'm not much of a crybaby so that's a pretty big accomplishment lmao Anyways, you are all so very lovely and so impossibly kind. It makes me feel horrible when I don't live up to your standards. You have no clue how much your words mean to me, seriously... right now, it means the world to me. I feel like I don't deserve this praise at all, I was worried sick about the pase, the writing, the characters, the plot... everything. I felt like I was doing something deeply wrong, I just couldn't put my finger on it. I'm so goddamn happy that you guys see something different in this work than I do. It gives me so much hope to keep on, like its almost ridiculous. I'm so sorry for being gone for such a long time... life just happened I guess. Anyways, enough self pity for today and let's get on with the story shall we? Love you all 3

 **Chapter five**

Ouch

 **Kagura's pov:**

She stared at the small note. It had bloodstains on it, Kamui had shed some blood it seems. It could be his own but that was unlikely. She had once again revised what she was going to say to him, nothing was solved yet. She still didn't know why he left, left her and their mother to her fate. She deserved answers and she could feel her blood boiling from just the thought of it. His abandonment was the glaring issue... the thing she always seemed to come back to. Probably because she still couldn't understand why. It was an unsolved, unread chapter of her life that went on to haunt her, to define her. Kagura hadn't asked him when she had the change to, for something so big, something that she always carried with her in the back of her mind, she hadn't even brought it up. Sure the impulse had been there but gone the next second, she had been preoccupied and distracted. She had been avoiding the issue... too scared of that sort of confrontation. Kagura blinked and suddenly crumbled the paper into a ball, dropping it to the ground. The inconvenience of being carried away by her thoughts (especially considering what those thoughts involved) made her mood even fouler.

So she was going to Yoshiwara huh? It felt like some sort of trap but she had faith in her ability to do more than to defend herself. That's what she had to keep telling herself, otherwise everything would be meaningless, hopeless. Her past actions in Yoshiwara must not repeat themselves, that just couldn't happen. Kagura stomped away, almost sprinting back to her home. She had to fetch her umbrella after all, she wasn't about to walk into the maw of the wolf without it.

A good nights sleep had done her well, she felt much more clearer in the head now. Clear enough to understand that last night, just like in Yoshiwara, she had been enslaved by her blood once again. Her Yato nature didn't care about right or wrongs, she had let her blood rule over her body whilst Kagura herself could only stare from behind her eyelids. Being under control by her blood didn't always mean rampage-mode. It could apparently also mean drunken impulses that catered to the her blood. There was no other explanation for her behaviour. She couldn't lose it like that again, no matter how good it felt... it was a mistake. She... she had been carried away. Seemingly her Yato blood didn't care where her drugged instincts may take her, even if it was straight into the arms of her brother. Maybe that was her blood's goal? To endlessly seek out whatever semblance of home it came across... Nevertheless, she was going to properly confront him this time, no matter what.

As evening fell, Yoshiwara seemed to once again stand in flames. At least that's what it looked like from above. The power-lines stretched out above the city like a great web and below it, countless lanterns lined the city. It decorated the buildings and roads in glow of red and yellow, scintillating in the night. It always looked as if Yoshiwara stood amidst festivities. As beautiful and ethereal it all seemed, Yoshiwara's dark history still laid in bloom. Nowadays, prostitution is outlawed but Kagura could still see women making business on the street corners like there was no tomorrow. She looked around, anxious that she would run into someone she knew. What if Hinowa saw her? Or Seita or even Tsukuyo... she wouldn't know how to explain herself.

Kagura could feel eyes on her but the town was too crowded fo her to really make out who was stalking her. Maybe it was just her paranoia speaking. She was regretful that she hadn't picked the cheongsam with the long sleeves as it was quite chilly outside. On top of that, she'd even picked out a cheongsam with split sides. Luckily, she wore a pair of black tights to counter it, flexible and warm. It fit nicely together with the red. But she wasn't in Yoshiwara to simply look her best.

Elbowing her way through the crowded marketplace, she grabbed a hold of a pipeline on the side of shop and started climbing. In mere seconds, she was on the rooftops, jumping her way across the buildings. She zeroed in on the palace. She didn't know where exactly in Yoshiwara, Kamui had wanted to meet her. However, the place where they'd had their first fight seemed reasonable. She still wondered why Kamui had seemingly left Yoshiwara alone... Gintoki had said that it was because of him but he hadn't elaborated on that. So her questions outnumbered the answers. Maybe she could ask Kamui once they meet.

Kagura halted in her tracks as she took in the scenery before her. The palace and the rooftops surrounding it, laid in full construction mode. All the stuff she and the others had ruined, was in the process of slowly being repaired and rebuilt. There were no men present though as their shift probably had ended. She was mindful of their work and took caution as to not step anywhere near the yellow tape surrounding their workplace. A pang of guilt hit her but it was blown away as she realised that her shenanigams may have given some poor bloke a job. Swinging her umbrella by her side, she kept up her jumping until she stood at the roof of the palace itself. Looking around, she tried to not think too much of the last time she was here but it was hard as her memories wouldn't stop plaguing her.

She swung her way down the edge of the roof and landed on a balcony. peeking inside the glass doors, she saw that the much of the place laid in darkness. Like there was no power in the building at all. She swallowed thickly, she had a very bad feeling about this. For some reason, she felt as if she was still being watched. She tried the door handle to find it unlocked. Kagura entered silently and slowly, her eyes adjusting to the darkness and her ears straining for the smallest of sounds. The coast seemed clear enough and she started to walk inside, clutching her umbrella.

 **Kamui's pov:**

He had divided his men into three groups. One was to stay back at the ship, another was to head to the harbour to secure several cargos of goods. He'd sent Abuto with them to ensure that it would go as smooth as possible. The third group came with him to Yoshiwara to secure the goods that awaited them there as well. That had all been dealt with, it actually went by rather quickly. He had already sent off his team to return the goods to their ship. Kamui had stayed behind though, waiting for Kagura. His fingers twitched as he observed a familiar figure, creeping about the palace. It was actually his palace. All of Yoshiwara was his after all, not that had any big plans for the place. He was rather comfortable with its primary function. It was basically the go-to spot when it comes to seeing ones own hedonistic pleasures fulfilled. He was content with that.

He looked on as Kagura made her way around the hallways. He sneaked after her, careful as to not make the slightest of noise. She seemed confused but scared at the same time. Obviously, she expected to be jump-scared but that didn't make the probability of her being so, any less. In fact, fear breeds more fear. She stopped at the light-switch on the wall and flicked in a couple of time to no avail. He'd cut the power himself. He briefly wondered if she was afraid of the dark... she had been when she was younger but he didn't think it would stay with her like this. Kagura continued on her way over to a second light-switch and tried her hand it that one instead. She cursed lowly and Kamui grinned in the shadows.

Soundlessly and with a focused precision, he jumped down from the bookcase, he'd been seated on. He creeped up to her and without warning, stuck his face into the crook of her neck, blowing cold air over her nape. As if on cue, she jumped and screamed in fright. Her elbow attacked his chest and with a laugh, he grabbed it and twisted it behind her back, pushing her into the wall.

"Kamui you bastard," she gritted out as she glanced up at him.

"That's not a very nice thing to say about our mother," he mockingly scolded her, snatching up her umbrella as she tried to hit him with it.

"Let me go, you creep!" Kagura struggled against him and he sighed at the friction her movements was making.

"Sure," he said as he let her arm go but didn't step away from her.

She turned around with an outrageous look on her face. Her head met the wall with dull thump as she craned her neck to meet his eyes.

"Ever heard of personal space?" she commented, glaring at him.

"Never heard of it, shorty. How the fuck are you still afraid of the dark?"

She stepped away from him and he let her take her umbrella back.

"I'm not afraid of the dark, i just don't like the feeling of being watched, thank you very much. Did you cut the power or something?" she asked as she made her way around him.

He turned around, not letting her stray too far away from his view. "Yeah, i thought we could spar in the dark, like last time. It's great training for the senses," he responded with a shrug.

"Sure... I just need to know how much of this place we can wreck first. Aren't you supposed to be the new overlord of Yoshiwara?" Kagura said as she took a look around, not that there was anything to see.

"Yeah Yoshiwara is mine but i don't really care much for the place. You cannot wreck everything though, we got to have some sort of standard," he answered as they quite literally began to circle each other.

"That sounds so wrong coming from you, truly, the joke of the century," Kagura snickered as if she'd actually annoyed him.

"You're the joke of century," he fired back, his grin never leaving his face.

"Tssk shut up, baka-aniki," was all she said as she took her stance and fired her umbrella at him. He jumped away, evading the bullet and the explosion that was left in its wake.

He started to uncontrollably laugh as the fight ensued. He knew it unnerved Kagura, and that made it so much more enjoyable.

 **Kagura's pov:**

They must have fought for about an hour and she didn't even need time to merge with the Yato blood. This time around, it seemed to come naturally and she felt more in touch with herself. Even more than yesterday, she felt in control, strong, confident. The rush of battle took her by storm and time seemed to take flight, along with her underlaying worries. She still had a bone to pick with him, but right now, everything felt just fine. She felt great.

The palace had acquired some new holes in its walls, some new craters in its floors and a handful of broken windows. Her body was bruised as well and she had a fresh cut on her cheek, straight from Kamui's nails. Kamui's wasn't without injury though, he sported a bruise on his jawline and probably a few more under his clothes. She quite liked his attire, though she wasn't going to tell him that. He wore a dark red changshan that reached down to his knees with a slit opening. A black belt was tied around his hips, matching with his black pants and black boots. His changshan had silver ornaments and clasps, they seemed to glimmer in the faint moonlight. She didn't realise her brother had style, he looked much better than her. She felt rather trashy next to him.

Trashy or not, her body was still buzzing with adrenaline. Adrenaline and energy but that didn't stop her limbs from aching. The tension in her arms started to feel strained and Kagura wouldn't lie to herself. She was already tired but not spent. Kamui was breathing heavier than before but he didn't seem as tired as her, what a bummer. Suddenly he charged her again and she decided to stand her ground, thinking she could maybe get him in a chokehold if she was fast enough. That was stupid of her but it was too late to do anything about it now, she wasn't fast enough. She could only loudly gasp and grab his shoulders as he slammed into her. She wouldn't be surprised if he was made out bricks with the force of it all.

Screaming and coughing, she ended up on the ground, trying to block his fist. His knee was at her ribcage, keeping her in place. However, as he put more weight on it, it completely smashed her boob into another dimension. Or at least it felt like it. Since they were still growing, they were more sensitive to outside force. Which meant that it was fairly easy to feel a tremendous amount of pain in instances such as these. No binder or bra could help her this time as she screamed out in pain.

"Kamui!" she choked out between her shrieks as she twisted around like something possessed on the ground, her hands clawing at his knee as she tried to lift it.

He seemed puzzled but quickly moved off of her. She was briefly surprised that he reacted so swiftly but then again, she must look quite mad. She gasped and curled inward on herself, breathing heavily.

"What?" he asked above her, his voice only mildly unsettled.

"W-what do you mean "what"?! You just crushed my boob into nothingness, you halfwit!" she shouted at him without sparing him as much as a glance as she tried to focus on more pressing matters.

Undoing her cheongsam, she pulled it down to take a look at her chest. Luckily her boob was stil there, both of them. Nothing looked deformed or anything but her left breast had big blooming bruise, as was evident as she took a look inside her bra. The purple and blue looked so discoloured, so terribly ugly.

"What the fuck," she cursed as she touched the bruise and was immediately jolted in pain.

"Maybe you should wear armour for those," Kamui said behind her ear. She immediately covered herself up and turned around, wishing her glare could burn holes in his smirking face.

"You fucking asshole, It seriously looks like someone spilt oil paint on my chest and not a nice colour either," she bit out, seething in fury and embarrassment.

"Really? I didn't catch that," Kamui said as he raised his eyebrows.

Without warning his hand leapt down to her collar and tried to pull it down some more.

"Back off you nasty!" she screamed at him as she tried to remove his hand.

"Hey, hey, hey let's be reasonable here," he started as his hand left her chest. "I didn't hurt you enough to cause a serious injury so there's no use in crying Kagura."

She wanted to tell him that she wasn't crying but that was quite useless as her tears hadn't seized since he got off her.

"It still hurts," she muttered out, buttoning up her cheongsam.

"Well I'm sorry for crushing your breast into infinity, it actually wasn't my intention... It's still intact right?" Kamui prodded, placing his hand on her head as if she was but a child.

"Y-yeah of course," she muttered, her cheeks burning.

"Great news! I think the spar is over now," he said as he stood up.

She followed his lead and with a sour face.

"Ya think?" she hurled out in sarcasm but he only laughed at her.

"Kamui! This isn't funny, not even a little bit. Maybe i should kick you between the legs for you to even get a semblance of what this pain feels like!" she snapped at him without thinking.

"If you do as much as even attempt that, little sister, I swear i'm gonna wreck you. Besides, I highly doubt it hurts that much," he simply said, rolling his eyes at her.

"Like you would know..." she muttered out.

Her stomach gave away a complaint as it growled in hunger. She clutched her belly and cheeks became even more redder. Why was she still so embarrassed? Is she nervous? Because of Kamui? she didn't want to think any further than that. She elected to hide from her problems instead.

"Oh so you're hungry, can't say i'm surprised. I suppose your "new" family don't feed you that well," Kamui said as he shifted slightly, letting the moonlight spill onto his back, making a halo around his head.

"What do mean by that? I eat lots of food," she creased her brows in confused irritation.

"Not enough, if you ask me."

"Well no one asked you so..."

There was a pause between them and she heard him sigh.

"Kagura, you are way to light for someone of your species. Don't take this the wrong way but i think you should put more weight on," he finally said, his tone actually quite soft.

She decided not to argue with him, she was way to exhausted for that.

"Well why don't you help me with that then?" she asked and couldn't hinder the smile from coating her lips. He smiled at her in return, not a smirk this time, but a real, genuine smile. She felt warm inside. A fuzzy, soft warmth creeped up her chest. Her eyes seemed to shine up to onlookers, not that there were any besides Kamui.

"I know just the place. It's open 24/7," he said, walking backwards and motioning her to follow him. And follow him she did, because she had probably never been hungrier.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter six**

A drunk Yato is a happy Yato

 **Kagura's Pov:**

They found themselves at a buffé, a quiet place with only one other customer, seated at the bar. She followed her brother as they walked over the food-trolleys. Without a word, they picked a plate started to pile food ontop of food on it. This place really had everything, ramen, sushi, burgers, fried chicken, fried rice, chicken noodles, dango, you name it. She even liked the style of the place. The walls were in a deep red and the ceiling had colourful lanters hanging down from it, casting the room in a strange, rainbow-like hye. They went back and forth between the food area and their choosen table until they had enough food to feed a family. Kagura knew he had only eaten two sandwhiches and a box of noodles that day, so as a Yato, she was starving. She dug in before Kamui even sat down. Silence ensued as they stuffed their mouths and started to devour their treats. When all the food was gone, she decided to have the conversation.

"Kamui," she said, cathing his attention.

He seemed curious at her serious tone and fixed his gaze upon her.

"I need to know why you left."

 **Kamui's Pov:**

He gave her a look as he could already feel a headache take form at the front of head. "That's a complicated question."

Kagura's hair bled into a darker shade of red as the light of the red lantern above her head bathed her strands crimson. It matching the wall behind her and made her skin even more white.

"I got time," was all she said in response as she leaned back on the sofa. He was mildly surprised that she wasn't riled up yet, it was probably the food.

"I haven't thought about this for a long time... but i think there are a total of three major reasons as to why i left. No, maybe four," he slowly explained, his mind spinning with distractions and old memories. "First of all, i was angry all the time. I had this fury that became harder and harder to contain, i had to hurt something everyday, in order to blow of steam. In order to feel remotely calm again. Because i knew i couldn't go around and be angry whilst i took care of you, i would have most likely hurt you and that's just a straight fact. I started visiting the slums more often and spent hours in the fighting pits. Nevertheless, i had so much hatred in me by that time... Honestly, leaving you and mother, seemed to be the logical thing to do," Kamui continued as he lost himself in deep thought.

He glanced up at Kagura, her eyes were wide like dinner plates and her breaths came faster and faster. She reminded him of a fish out of water, which was rather amusing to him.

"It's not easy being angry all the time, especially when you have to hide it from others. When i wasn't angry, i was tired and i actually longed to escape. I knew i couldn't achieve anything on that god-forsaken planet. I knew i needed to be with others of my kind, likeminded people that could maybe help me with my anger-issues. I couldn't go to father, after all. He was rarely there and when he was, you know he didn't stay for long. He never cared about me either way, he never asked me how i was doing. He only wanted to know about you and mom and tasked me with taking care of you both. I could hardly solve my own problems but it's not like that ever occurred to him. I hated our father for several reasons."

Kagura had changed position. She sat now with her legs pressed up to her chest with her arms locked around them. How strange that she hadn't interrupted him once, she was a good listener when she wanted to.

"Our father was another reason as well. I could hardly stand being around him. For all those years, to make up for his absence... he just kept on saying the same things. That he was trying to find a cure for our mother. He promised he would fix her, he said he knew a way. That's what used to keep me going, that's what made me accept everything for a little while. Honestly, if our father had wanted her to be cured, he would have returned her to her planet and that's that. He lied for so long. When he had the chance to fix things, he only made them worse by his own negligence and he left me to clean up the mess. In my estimation, he's the one that killed our mother. The day I removed his arm, was the same day I had planned on taking mom with me onboard the Harusume fleet. They had agreed to take us with them and drop us off at her home planet. She could have lived, she would've lived. I could have saved her but Umibouzu had to get in the way. At least that's how I saw it at the time and not much has changed. Although, maybe I've become a lot more indifferent." He leaned back in his chair as he mused aloud, putting his feet on the table between them.

An old anger stirred in his chest but it was abruptly blown away as he looked at his sister. She looked pale, her eyes were wide and her mouth stood agape. He realised that he'd said too much. Kagura probably didn't know the first thing about their mother's condition.

"Wh- what do you mean? Was her illness caused by her absence from her home planet? How is that even possible?!" Kagura exclaimed as she let her legs go and gripped the table. It cracked from the force of her fingers.

Kamui didn't know what to say at first, he had already said too much. How was he going to explain to her what Altana is? No, it's far too complicated for a 16 year old to even comprehend. At least it was for him.

"Kagura, yes her illness stemmed from that but i cannot tell you how or why. I don't know everything..." he lied as calmly as he could muster, hoping she would buy it. Her pink lips twitched and thinned but she nodded, removing her grip from the table. The sound of her soft breath caught his attention as she looked defeated. "Just... continue," she sighed, looking down at her empty plate.

He did as he was told, thinking back to his younger self. "I couldn't show my face to either you or mom, after my defeat at the hands of our father. I didn't want to. I knew you two wouldn't take my side either way. A part me wished he had finished me off so that I would be spared the shame of losing to him. As if I was nothing compared to the famed "alien-buster". That only made me want to leave even more, I knew I couldn't just go back to you and mom after that. One of us had to leave, it was either Umibouzu or me. And I longed to be gone at that point. There was nothing holding me back. I don't know if you will ever get this but if I would've stayed, I would have become weak. Not weak in a physical sense, but in moral one. I wouldn't be the brother you knew so well. I would be bitter and abusive, with no sense of self-control. So I left before that would happen. I guess I also left before mom could die just so I wouldn't have to be there to witness it."

"So in conclusion; I left because I was far too angry for anyone's convenience, I left because of the incident with Umibouzu, I left because i wanted to become stronger and choose my own path and I also left because I didn't want to watch as our mother died, knowing I could have prevented it. So that's four reasons, thank you for coming to my ted talk," Kamui finished almost proudly, knowing he'd most likely checked all the boxes.

Kagura sat in silence, she stared at the table as her left hand gripped her righ arm in a nervous fashion. She looked up at him but couldn't keep eye contact for very long. "That's... not entirely what I expected to hear, or even what i wanted to hear," she started, gnawing on her lip. "I don't think I can forgive you, I don't know how to do that. But maybe I can now, at least, begin to understand you," she said, her voice even and balanced even if it broke off at the end.

Kudos to her for keeping herself in-check. So this is what it feels like to be semi-honest with someone? It was overrated and not worth the unpleasantness. Even so, if it's what it took to win her over, he would do it all over again. "You don't have to forgive me, Now i need a drink," he bluntly said and rose from his seat.

"Why?" Kagura asked, her tone altering into its normal pitch instead of the dull and somber voice she had before.

She followed him throuch the resturant, her face still twisted into confusion. He coud see that she wanted to say something but she stayed quiet. As they came upon the bar-area, he noticed that the blonde that had been there before wasn't there anymore. He took a seat and barely had the chance to blink before his sister were there with him.

"You're a master of asking the most unnecessary questions there is... Why would i even need a reason to drink? I just like it sometimes," he explained, poking her head a couple of times and watching it go back and forth like one of those weird dolls they sell next door.

"Ouch! Stop that already. You obviously have to have reasons in order to do anything at all. Why act then?" Kagura frowned up at him, she was asking the really deep questions. He didn't know she was that philosophical.

"Lots of people act without reason, or maybe that depends on what constitutes as "reason," Kamui answered as he looked around for the bartender, he could hear sounds in the kitchen so he wasn't far off. "Do you want something to drink?" he asked her, peering down at her.

She raised her brows. "I'm only 16, it's not legal," she said, resting her elbows on bar table.

"This is Yoshiwara, people hardly care."

She seemed to think hard on it, as her face grimaced. She bit her lip and his eyes were instinctively drawn to it. Would this be her first time drinking?

"Oh what the hell, alright then, but I want to have whatever you're having," she concluded determinedly. He cracked a grin at her, gosh she was so stupid and she didn't even know it.

"You sure about that? Because I'm gonna have tequilas and I don't think you can handle them very well. Especially if it's your first time drinking," Kamui warned her as he took a seat the onto the bar counter instead, seeing as it was much more comfortable.

Kagura's face flamed up and she mirrored his movements until they both sat facing each other on-top of the bar. "Is that a challenge, baka-aniki?" Her voice was smooth but edged at the same time.

"Oh yes, let the best man win," he played along, knowing full well that she would lose.

"Or woman," she corrected him.

The bartender came back and told them to get down from the counter. Kagura shifted in seat and began to step down but he on the other hand stayed put.

"Go get us some tequila and maybe I won't break your back," he calmly said as he placed his hand on the edge of the counter and made sure bartender could see as cracks started to form beneath the force of his hand. It proved to be very effective and he just mumbled a disheartened "yes sir," before going about his orders.

"That wasn't very polite," his sister said as she once again reclaimed her seat at his side.

"I'm not a very polite person," he smirked at her and drummed his fingers on the table.

"Go figure," she said and once again mirrored his movements.

Her small hand laid outstretched on the counter and her slender fingers drummed away, almost impatiently. Their fingers drummed in unison and it went on until a sharp crack could be heard from Kamui's hand. He had drummed a bit too hard. She looked at him in alarm as the bartender returned with a bottle of tequila and shot glasses. Her face became red and she broke out in high pitched laugh as she awaited bartender's reaction to the cracked counter. The bartender shook his head in dismay and cursed under his breath before scurrying away. His sister was rather childish.

"You could be a bit more subtle Kagura... he probably thought you were laughing at him," Kamui almost whispered with glee, his eyes narrowing in amusement.

"Oh damn, What's he gonna do? Break my back?" She exclaimed in barely contained laugher, her cheeks red and puffy. He opened the tequila and poured the shot glasses up to their brim. "This should come with salt and lemon slices... what a shitty bartender, maybe I should break his back after all," he muttered as he looked around for the object of his irritation.

Making up his mind, he rose from his seat to confront the bartender but was promptly stopped by Kagura. She held his arm i tight grip and fixed him with a serious look. "Don't ruin this moment, I think we will do just fine without that stuff," she said, motioning for him to climb up at the counter again.

"I beg to differ but sure," was all he said as he gave in and handed her a shot glass.

On the count to three, they emptied their glasses. Well he did at least, it took some time for Kagura to get past the taste. Half her tequila was left as she sat there coughed madly.

"Ohh my god, my poor throat, this tastes terrible," she wheezed out, furiously blinking away tears he could spy at the edge of her eyes.

"Well people don't drink it for the taste so," he said back, snickering at her funny expression. "Go on and finish it, if you don't want me to drink it that is."

She gave him a look and with determination in her eye, finished the glass.

"Pour me another, maybe I can out-drink you," she croaked out with mischievous grin.

"Oh yeah? Let's put that on the test," he responded, knowing full well how this will end.

As he poured her another, Kamui made a mental note to end this party when she'd had at least four shots, because she obviously wouldn't be able to handle anything more. After all, he was just being realistic. True to his suspicions, after the third shot she was tipsy bordering on drunk. She told him so herself, talking impossibly fast.

"I feel really strange now but it's a good kind of strange, I really like this feeling!" Kagura laughed as she sat before him, her foot dangling back and forth. He finished his fourth shot, not feeling much of anything other than a slight glee.

"You've only taken like three shots, and not on an empty stomach either. I guess I cannot compare you to myself though," he mused aloud, tapping her hair ornaments.

"Ooh why not?" she questioned as she tried to swath his hands away.

"Well I'm much more tolerant than you, males are typically more tolerant than females when it comes to alcohol," he explained as he poured himself another shot.

Kagura leaned forward and pushed her glass towards his. He looked up at her to find her face rather close. She pouted but grinned at the same time, her blue eyes reminded him of a tropical sea. "Please just one more," she begged him, her cheeks flushed with alcohol.

"Alright but you can't have any more of this," he gave in

"Ooh geez it's not like I'm gonna fall over, i'm- I will be just fine! And- and not only that, but I'm also feeling great," she went on and on about how amazing she felt and he busied himself with pouring her last shot.

"Bottoms up," he shut her up as he pressed the glass in her hands, on cue they both emptied their glasses. She made a grimace and shook her head, as if that would remove the taste.

 **Kagura's pov:**

To be intoxicated was something she had missed out on for too long. That was a revelation she had just discovered. Everything and everyone looked nicer. It was like the mundane had become exciting and the ordinary, brand new. Everything was funny to her, everything was a joke and nothing was off-limits. Kagura knew that she had t drink in order to really get past the shocking things he'd told her. If there was something she knew about alcohol, it was that it was a great coping mechanism. At least, according to Gin. She had this warm, fuzzy, bubbly feeling in her chest. A slight burning... maybe it was the liquor maybe it's maybelline. Nevertheless, it was a perfect feeling and she hadn't felt more alive. This could maybe only be trumped by a fine battle but she didn't feel like fighting at all. Quite the opposite, she felt like she could get along with and even love everything that moved. Not only did she feel things, but she wanted things as well. She didn't want this odd, spontaneous moment with her brother to end. If Kagura could stop time now, she would.

She thought back to the things he'd told her. She knew he had been honest, she was almost convinced of that and he'd just been incredibly upfront and blunt about it all. Was this some sort of kinship they had now? Maybe even a friendship? Did she even want to be friends with him? Kagura's head started to ache as her questions outnumbered the answers, she was too -out of it- to really have any serious thoughts at this moment. No, she decided to live in now and regret things tomorrow. It wasn't like she cared right now after all. Everything was a joke and her mirth was never ending. This had to be a dream.

"Hey sunshine, try standing up," Kamui said, his lips breaking into a wide, wide grin.

She did as she was told and jumped down from the counter. Not one thing of that went as planned. In mere milliseconds she found herself on the floor with no clue of how she ended up there. The room started to spin and she blinked a couple of times, trying to halt it. She couldn't take it anymore as she hysterically started to laugh. Her eyes became damp as she filled the tiny restaurant with her laugher.

"You clumsy motherfucker," Kamui snickered back at her as she rose to her feet and swayed a bit. He jumped down from the counter just in time for her to lean in and throw her arms around his neck.

"I need to balance the force, baka-aniki," she mumbled into his neck, her voice muffled.

"What you need is a bed," he answered as his hands came around back, holding her in tight grip.

They were hugging and she could hardly believe it. "I could use you as a bed... mmm you're softer than I remembered," she sighed, her fingers playing with his braid.

One of his arms left her to dig into his pocket. The sound of coins could be heard as he dumped a bag of money on the counter. She leaned heavily on him now, much too lazy to stand on her own and she didn't really need to. He did a splendid job of holding her upright with his left hand. He then grabbed the tequila bottle and handed it to her. She reluctantly let go of his braid to hold the liquor.

"If you drop this, I'm gonna drop you," Kamui warned her as he playfully poked her forehead. Kagura impulsively tried to bite his fingers but missed them by the inches. He leaned down and she went with him, holding onto his broad shoulder as he picked up their umbrellas. He was built like a tank, so much stronger her... sadly. They opened the door and stepped out into the cold, she didn't feel the cold though. There weren't many people outside, she noticed as they walked down the streets of Yoshiwara.

"Try to look perfectly normal, rabbit. You can walk by yourself right?"

"I wouldn't bet on it... but imma try," she said, slowly letting him go.

Nothing bad happened and she was able to keep up an even pace with him. Sure she was a bit unstable in her steps but she hadn't fallen yet. Kamui seemed to disagree. "I think it's for the best if you just hold onto me instead, because you walk really weird," he said with a laugh as he sneaked a hand around her waist.

He then stopped and put his umbrella away in the sheath he had by his waist. The other one, he put between his teeth as he suddenly picked her up and swung her over his shoulder. She almost dropped the tequila bottle in her fright. Her shocked complaints fell on deaf ears as he started to jump and climb up a balcony before taking a step out on the roof. She could hear his shrill laugher ringing in her ears. He sounded mad. They jumped and flew over the rooftops. Her blurry gaze became even more blurrier as the colourful lights of Yoshiwara seemed to melt into one another. Like a palette of watercolours, a contrast to the striking darkness. She didn't know how much the clock was was, she didn't know if she had her phone with her or not. She didn't even know where Kamui was taking her.

One of his hands left her legs to hold her umbrella instead as he adjusted his hold on her. He was only holding her now with one hand and how he managed that, she did not know. His large hand gripped her tight just below her butt. It was a very intimate spot but she didn't really care about that because the scenery of Yoshiwara, was far too compelling. It was far too beautiful to miss and her drunk mind wouldn't dwell on other things while she admired it. Everything was moving, glowing, scintillating into a bright shine. Like dancing flames. It all became tad bit to bright and she needed to rest her eyes. Just for a little bit. She squeezed the tequila bottle into the space between her chest and Kamui's shoulder. She couldn't even feel her bruise now and with that, she closed her eyes.


	8. Chapter 7

**Authors note:**

Hello again, so I'm gonna warn you all about this chapter since it's basically very smutty. Like the whole chapter is just one big document of smut but there is also some pretty nice character development in there. At least I think so. Anyways so if you're not into this stuff then you can skip this chapter but for those of you who are into this, welcome and I hope this isn't too cringeworthy, i felt like a dork writing this. Consider yourself warned! Have a nice day folks!

 **Chapter seven**

Mistakes were made

 **Kagura's Pov:**

The next time she opened her eyes, she was being carried down what seemed like a hallway. It was so dark, she could hardly make out any details at all. However as they passed a familiar hole in the wall, a couple of bells started to ring. It was the hole she had made as she'd sparred with Kamui back at the palace. Oh yes, the palace, they must be back there. She was still clutching the tequila, to her utter astonishment. They walked past more and more structures she could make out, her eyesight truly was terrible. Maybe it was because she was still drunk. Kagura briefly wondered how long it would take for her to become sober. Probably the whole night.

"Kamui... is there like a bed nearby or something?"

She craned her neck around, trying in vain to see something. Her only answer was a rough motion as he quite literally dropped her down on a soft mattress, covered in sheets, pillows and blankets. Ah yes, a wonderful bed. She could see the shape of him as he dropped off their umbrellas and reached down to her to pick the tequila up. He placed the bottle on what she presumed to be a bedside table.

"Can you turn on the lights?" she asked the shape of him as she sat up and awkwardly hugged his waist.

He made a groan and started to undo her hairstyle. He put away her hair ornaments and watched as her hair fell down in odd shapes and ringlets. He ran his fingers through the red strands and she leaned into his touch. A strong sene of deja vu almost engulfed her.

"Yeah, I'm gonna head down and turn the power back on," he responded as his nails dragged themselves down the back of her neck.

She shivered in pleasure and nodded. They stood like that for some time as her arms wouldn't budge from his waist. In the end, he took ahold of them himself an gently loosened them. As he left her to turn the power back on, she busied herself with trying to get out of her clothes... and she did take one more swing of the tequila but he wouldn't notice that. She couldn't sleep in her clothes and she didn't care about him seeing her naked or something like that, it didn't really matter. Besides she was going to be under the covers when he came back either way. Kagura twisted herself out of her dress and pants but kept her underwear on, she's gotta have some standards.

Suddenly with a loud snap, the power was turned back on and the room was bathed in a bright yellow light. It blinded her to no end and she hissed slightly as she covered her eyes. Crawling under the blankets, she pulled them over her head, trying to escape the intruding bright light. She could hear footsteps coming closer and closer. The lights outside her blanket seemed to dim down into a faint glow. She removed the blanket from her eyes and peeked up at her brother. He sat down at her side with a glass of water in his hand. Raising an eyebrow, he gestured for her to sit up. She did so without hesitation not caring that the blanket fell down to gather at her waist. She took the glass and greedily gulped down the water. She handed it back to him once she was done and he took a few sips of it himself. He then placed it on the other bedside table and looked at her.

"That doesn't look good at all," Kamui murmured as he reached out and pulled her left bra strap down, as if to take a better look at the bruising.

She couldn't breathe as his fingers traced her skin, and carefully skimming over the bruise. It didn't hurt as much anymore though. His hands closed in around her back and unbuttoned her bra. It fell down, revealing the bruise in all its glory. The room was spinning again and she regretted the tequila. Her breasts weren't ridiculously large or anything, but they weren't small either. She knew this was wrong but... but what again? Kagura got distracted by his eyes, as they zeroed in on her chest. She immediately covered herself up but he stopped her. He took her wrists in a stern grip and removed her arms from her chest. Ever so slowly, as if he believed the slightest movement would scare her away. Kagura wouldn't lie to herself, she was as scared as she was excited and she didn't know what to do with that. It was a double edged sword.

"That's one big bruise, it may take as much as three days for it to fully heal," her brother said, his fingers poking the discoloured flesh. "Does this hurt?"

She flinched in discomfort and she felt beyond mortified as her nipples stiffened and hardened. He wouldn't notice that would he? "A little bit but not too much, it w-was worse before," she told him, trying not to look at his face. "Is it ugly?"

He blinked at her in surprise, his lips morphing into a lopsided grin. Heat traveled from her loins up to her face but she tried not to let that show.

"No, not at all, it looks strange but definitely not ugly. I think your boobs are terrific rabbit," he said and she couldn't stop herself from blushing.

She actually felt grateful that he'd just given somewhat of a compliment, it left her feeling giddy and maybe even more drunk than she already was. But still, her brain was all over the place and she couldn't handle it. Trembling, she pulled away from him and was surprised when he let her go. She sneaked back under the covers and dragged the blanket all the way up to her chin. Everything was so strange and so odd, had this day really happened? Kagura met his eyes and couldn't look away. The faint yellow light made his hair glimmer into bronze. His smile became wider as he started to laugh, a low, almost growl-like chuckling. He had laughed many times today.

He turned away from her and started to undress. His boots went first, then his belt and as he removed his changshan and revealed his bare back, her interest peaked. He was incredibly toned and muscular. She realised she was absolutely right in her presumption that he was indeed built like a tank. The thing that really struck her though, was all the bruises and all the scars. Old, faded scars and very new bruises.

"Hey, did i leave those bruises on you?" she almost slurred out as she crawled her way over to him, holding the blanket to her chest.

He glanced over at her, unbuckling his pants and taking them off.

"Oh yeah, those are yours. Nothing major but not bad either," he answered her as he stood up in nothing but his black boxers.

He switched off the lights and bathed them in darkness. As he slipped underneath the covers, she almost jumped as she felt his hand sneak around her waist. He pulled her towards him and embraced her from behind. Was this spooning? Did Kamui like cuddles or was this something else? His breath foamed over her ear. His hand laid splayed out across her stomach, warm and big. She felt all of him behind her, his moving, sturdy chest, pressed up against her back and not to mention, the hard thing between his legs, situated at her behind. Her mind was racing with things to say but she couldn't get her tongue to function. She didn't know what to do, what to think and as she felt his mouth tracing her neck, she felt like her self-control was slipping away. Her breaths came faster as he moved against her and without processing it, she arched her back. He groaned in her ear and the sound of it sent shivers down her spine, her skin even broke out in goosebumps. His hips rolled against her rear and she gasped aloud. She swears she could see stars if she closed her eyes hard enough.

Everything was happening so fast, too fast. His hand reached down in between her legs and she couldn't move. She was already wet and now he knew that too as his fingers found themselves inside her panties. Oh nonono. She closed her eyes and tensed up as two of his fingers suddenly entered her. Someone who had large hands would naturally have large fingers as well and that became all the more apparent.

"K-Kamui-" she hurled out in alarm as his fingers went deeper inside and buried themselves in her, all the way down to the knuckle.

He didn't answer her, his fingers pumped in and out of her, gaining in speed. His other hand came around her from nowhere and completely removed her underwear. Her panties were pulled down to her knees and she kicked them off without a second thought. She couldn't make sense of this, she wouldn't. She didn't dare to. He kissed her neck but before long, his kissing had evolved into a ferocious biting. It reminded her of that time in woods and her neck was still sensitive from the hickeys he'd left. He didn't seem to think about any of that though as he his mouth left her neck to bite down on her shoulder instead. She gasped and moaned as his fingers found a particularly sensitive spot. She craned her neck and turned around. He changed his position and she found him leaning down over her.

Suddenly, he hit the same spot again and his fingers curled themselves inside of her. It felt like an electrical spark had gone off through her body and she trembled all over. She cried out, her blue eyes locked onto his. Her legs spread themselves wider, before they tensed up and closed in around his rapidly moving hand. She came with an embarrassing sound that rose from the back of her throat. The sound reminded her of some sort of small cat... how cute. She had never orgasmed before by just fingers alone, she used to think it was impossible. God knows how many times she'd tried... And here was Kamui, pulling it off like it was a piece of cake. She briefly wondered what kind of technique he'd used and whether or not he had tried it out on other girls. He probably had. She breathed out as he slowly removed his fingers from her.

Kagura watched in mortification as he licked his fingers clean of her cum, his white teeth gleamed like pears in the dark. His eyes were wide and round, his pupil dilated and big. He looked lustful and he almost reminded her off a predator at that moment. She didn't know what to do with herself, she still hadn't come down from her high. Since she didn't know what to do, she let her instincts rule. Or maybe the tequila. She reached up and grabbed his braid, bringing his face closer to hers so that she could kiss it. And kiss it she did, straight on the lips. She bit his lip and heard him groan, he bit her back and she opened up to him. His tongue was warm and his teeth were sharp. He bit her lip once again and she was sure he'd made it bleed. She didn't care though, the pain had never bothered her, she was a Yato after all.

Kagura moaned once more as his hand came up to knead her uninjured breast. His nails tracing over her nipple, only to be replaced by his teeth as tongue. She cried out in pleasure as he bit down on the pink flesh. His other hand closed in around her throat as he rose up to look at her. He was breathing heavily, his lips were flushed and his eyes looked wild to her. The more she looked at him, the more aroused she became. His fingernails dug into her neck as he put more pressure on it, she gasped and choked. Her legs moved on either side of him before she locked them around his waist. He leaned down to her face and put his mouth just above her ear.

"I'm gonna fuck you until you beg for me to stop... and then I'm gonna keep going," he whispered in her ear, his voice hoarse and deep.

She had never felt more hot before, how could any sensible being get turned on by that kind of language? She felt ashamed as her body ached to feel him inside of her. Countless of pictures invaded her mind and forbidden thoughts of dominance and submission wouldn't let her be. She let out a meek whimper as he let go of her throat and grabbed a handful of her red hair instead.

"Yes," she almost unconsciously moaned out as his grip on her hair tightened.

There was no warning for what happened next. It just happened, and her body twitched and jolted as she screamed in pain. He entered her in one swift motion and she could't believe that he would even fit. When did had he taken his boxers off? She felt regretful that she hadn't had a chance to look at him but from what she could feel, he was big. It was too much and she started crying from the stinging pain.

"It- it's too b-big..." she tried to say as he moved in and out of her, a forceful thrusting that only went faster and faster.

Kagura couldn't keep quiet, it was impossible. She choked on her screams, her nails dug into his skin as she dragged them down his back, no doubt drawing blood. Pain seemed to spur him on further and he fastened his grip on her hair and pulled her head back. He bit her neck and a shrill shriek clawed its way out of her throat. She was sweaty all over, just like him. Still, no matter how uncomfortable it was, she clung to him like a second skin, yelping with each move of his hips. Suddenly he pulled out of her and she yelled out in alarm, she swears she could hear him laugh. He turned her around with a strong push and she ended up on her stomach. In her confused state of mind, she tried to get up on her knees but didn't get very far as he rammed into her again, his hand pushing her head down into the pillow.

A strained sob-like yell left her mouth, only to be smothered by the pillow. She gripped the sheets and blankets, her fingers tearing holes in them. The burning sensation between her legs, the sensation that was pain, had dulled down somewhat. It seemed to have numbed into something else, I different kind of burning that stimulated her senses. Fingers dug into her waist, drawing blood but she couldn't be bothered by that. It started to feel good, the more he drove into her, the deeper he went, it all seemed to ignite something in her. Her eyes rolled back into her head as he hit the same spot again and again. Pleasure seemed to engulf her, drown her in bliss. She felt as if she might come again, she was on the brink of it and before she knew it, she tripped headfirst into climax.

Her mouth opened wide in a silent scream as he lifted up her head by the hair. He kept up his thrusts, his hand left her waist to grip her un-bruised breast. She moaned again and again, screaming into the night as she unexpectedly came again. Her whole body tensed up as he lifted her up into his arms. She was not standing up on her knees, his hand around her waist as the other traveled from her breast to her neck. He twisted her head backwards and leaned down to meet her eyes. Kagura could hardly see anything but sparks, clouding her vision. She turned sideways and came in contact with his hungry lips. He ate her up and her shouts were muffled by his tongue. His hand went up over her stomach to her bruised breast, he gripped it hard and she screamed once more into his mouth. She bit his lip as the combination of pain and pleasure had her going over the edge once more.

It seemed that pain was really his thing as he went over the edge with her. She fell forwards with him on top of her, almost crushing her. He finished with a few strong thrusts, a deep, rough groan left his lips and foamed over her ear. His chest seemed to vibrate with the sound and she almost came again from that alone. Slowly, they rocked together to a steady halt. She gasped underneath him, trying to breathe properly but it was hard to get air with him on top of her. The hair on his legs tickled her own as he pulled out of her. She shivered from the loss of contact when he rolled off of her. Kagura didn't know what to do now, she was glad that she couldn't see him but at the same time not. She turned around to see that Kamui was staring at her. She stared back, unsure of what to say.

She took the time to glance down at his private parts. It was as long and thick as she'd believed and she struggled with the fact that it had actually fit inside her. She closed her eyes and willed her mind to think of other things, but it was hard when she felt something thick trail down her thighs after leaving her cavern.

"This was wrong," she whimpered out in the dark as she looked up at him again.

His face was unreadable, it was like he had a mask on. "Please say something," she pleaded with him, her voice breaking off at the end, like a broken record player.

Kamui stayed silent as he gathered up the sheets and pulled it over them. His hand took her around the waist and pulled her towards him. Embracing her from behind like before. She stared at the tequila bottle as a tear left her eye. This was a mistake, a grave, big mistake that would come back and haunt her. Then he finally spoke.

"Lots of things are wrong, yet we still do them. You can't be perfect Kagura," his voice sounded soft as it went almost muffled by her hair.

"You sure?" she asked in her own small tone.

"Positive," he answered her as he sneaked his arm under her head and caressed her hair.

"That's good enough me right now," she whispered out as she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. She had longed for this. This closeness, this familiarity between them. She had missed it for so long and before she knew it, she was fast asleep in her brother's arms. Just like when they were mere children. He breathed in her scent like it was drug, before he slipped away into slumber as well.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter eight**

Shame could make one cry

 **Kagura's pov:**

She woke up from her own screams, startled to death by the shrill noise that exploded out of her mouth. Feverishly, she looked around to find herself alone. The sun peeked through the blinders of the window, casting the room in a pale glow. Kamui was gone, along with the tequila bottle and what remained of her virginity. The nightmare that she'd had laid still fresh in her mind. She'd dreamt that Kamui and father was fighting. It had been in Yoshiwara and she had looked on from afar. This hadn't been an ordinary fight. Her father had landed countless of kicks on Kamui but he didn't do anything back. Her brother just jumped around, covered in his own blood. He jumped until he couldn't no more.

It couldn't have been a real fight because he refused to defend himself. He just let their father swing him around. Her father was so fast and she couldn't quite follow him with her eyes, it wass all too blurry. The sounds of bones breaking and limbs tearing, reached her ears. Kagura screamed in fright, she screamed for her father to stop but it was like she was invisible. It was like talking talking to a wall. No one could hear her and no one could see her. Kamui was going to die if this didn't stop. Over the rooftops, she could faintly hear her father yelling more at him, his tone was that of pure outrage.

"What have you done?!" her father had screamed at him as he snapped his legs. Kamui fell to ground and laid there motionless, crushed under heel of Umibouzu. "You disgust me!".

He was ruthlessly kicked over the roof, as if he was nothing but a pile of rubbish. Kagura was sobbing at this point. She knelt down to the ground and held her stomach. She felt so sick, so, so sick, non-stop nauseous. She couldn't look anymore and she was glad she couldn't even make out Kamui's face. Umibouzu descended over her brother's still form like a great omen of death. He took ahold of his neck and a sickening crack could be heard as he snapped it sideways. His neck laid twisted and bent in an odd form, an unnatural shape. Kamui didn't move, she knew he was dead. No one could survive a broken neck. Not even him. Her strong, dauntless brother was no more. She had screamed then, a horrid shrill scream that made her throat feel raw like an open wound. Kagura caved in on herself in her lamentation, her world was spinning out of control. Hearthache was all that was left. She knew it wasn't real, it couldn't be! But still, it felt real, the feeling of her brother's death made her want to stop time or maybe stop existing alltogether. What's the point now?

She couldn't stop screaming and in the end, her screams woke her up. She was sweaty but cold at the same time. Her heart drummed away in her ears, beating against her ribcage as if it was trying to take flight. To flee from the accursed place that was her. She wanted to flee with it, she wanted her head to keep quiet and stop reminding her of Kamui's distorted pale neck. She wished she could forget that nightmare, forget that horrid dream like she did her others. Something told her though, that it wouldn't leave her for quite sometime. A headache started to bloom between her ears and she clumsily crawled out of bed. Trying to find her clothes. Kagura didn't know what to think of at the moment. She couldn't dwell anymore on the dream and she refused to think back on the actions that had taken place last night. There was a great mirror on the opposite wall, facing the bed. She looked like an absolute train wreck.

Her neck was bruised, her chest had bite marks, her thighs had bruises as well and her hair was tangled into hard knots. She couldn't wait to take a shower. It hurt between her legs and she could see trails of dried blood on her thighs. Feeling numb, she fetched her underwear and clothed herself. The headache started to get worse as she came across her black leggings. Pulling them on, she picked up her red cheongsam and dragged it over her head. Kagura picked up her umbrella and took one last look at the room. No doubt, a guest room, if it had been Housen's bedroom, it would have been much more luxurious. She left it behind her as she walked down the hallway. T

he house laid in silence and Kamui was long gone. She felt bang of disappointment but she couldn't really expect him to be there at all times either, he had a job to do here didn't he? Nevertheless, he could have at least said good bye. She wondered if she was going to see more of him today but she wouldn't get her hopes up. A bile rose in her throat as she thought back on what she'd actually done... and how much she'd enjoyed it. Maybe it was better for her to not see him again today.. Maybe it was better for them to take a break from each other. She knew she needed to kill this thing as soon as possible. Whatever this mess that both she and her brother had tangled themselves up in, she knew it couldn't last. She felt ashamed, beyond humiliated... the worst thing was, she couldn't even speak of this to anyone. It had to stay a secret.

Just imagining Gin-chan's face if he found out about this, left her with a strong feeling of nausia. He would be disgusted with her. As would Shinpachi and Sougo and everyone else be. Her father... the dream hit her once more and she contemplated. If Umibouzu were to find out about what had happened between her and Kamui, he might as well react the same way he did in her dream. In his rage and shock, he might as well try to kill both her and Kamui, losing control of himself just asa he had when he lost his arm. She shuddered at thought of it, feeling even more sick. No way, no way, no way... she had to keep this secret, she just had to. Even she dearly wanted someone to talk to... there was no other option.

As Kagura got home, she dreaded the reactions of her two friends. She had worked out a plan though. She was going to tell the truth but only half of it. She had gone to Yoshiwara in order to meet up with her brother and they had sparred together and simple spent time together. Nothing insidious at all. Then all of sudden, Kagura had fallen ill since she'd eaten some old chicken and Kamui had offered to let her spend the night in the palace while he returned to his ship. She didn't want to tell them that she'd been out drinking with him and this story sounded good enough to her ears. However, as she came in through the front door, she was in for a shock. Gathered in the small living room was Gin-chan, Shinpachi, Otose, Sougo and Shimura. They all just stood around awkwardly, staring at her as she entered. Kagura wanted to sink through the ground.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Shinpachi shouted at her, it wasn't often he swore like that.

"Um... I'm sorry I forgot my phone so-" she hesitantly began.

"Kagura we've been up all night, looking for you, everyone has. Sorry doesn't quite cut it this time," Sougo cut in, his voice agitated and strained as he looked her up and down, like he was inspecting her.

She became rather mute at that, guilt and shame ate at her insides like acid. She turned red and looked down, she couldn't bare to meet their eyes.

"Tsk, well at least she's home in one piece, I'm glad this drama is over because I have better things to do," Otose suddenly chimed in, taking a drag from her cancer stick. The elderly lady took one look at Kagura before she shook her head in disappointment. "Shimura-san, you said you would help me with the flower shopping right?" Otose inquired as he turned away from the young Yato and met the brown eyes of Shinpachi's sister.

"Ah yes of course!" Shimura proclaimed as she hurried after Otose who'd started leaving. As she passed Kagura, she grabbed her wrist and stared at her with her serious doe-like eyes.

"I'm happy you're alright Kagura-chan, you can tell me anything you like when you have the time," she assured her, concern coating her voice in a soft tune.

"Yes eh... thank you, i mean it big sis," Kagura got out as she squeezed her shoulder before watching her leave together Otose.

The door slammed shut after them and she realised that she still hadn't taken her boots off. She quietly stepped out of them, watching the three remaining inhabitants of the room.

"Explain," Gintoki said, monotonously and she knew she was in for it. He had been oddly quiet and that couldn't mean something good.

Kagura slowly unwrapped her story, her eyes fixated on the floor the entire time. She was afraid that would know the truth just by looking at her eyes.

"... I swear, I didn't mean for any of you to worry, this won't happen again I promise you that-" she tried to finish but Gin-chan interrupted her.

"No it won't, as your legal guardian, I forbid it," he snapped at her. He wasn't yelling at her but his icily calm, his stone cold demeanour was worse.

"You are to stay inside until I feel that I can trust you not to meet that man again," Gin-chan continued with an authoritarian tone, a commanding one. His lips were thin and taunt and his jaw was clenched, he'd had enough. That much was obvious.

Sougo has stayed silent throughout the whole ordeal, he had taken a seat on the blue sofa. His eyes were narrowed into small slits as he scrutinised her. He didn't look happy, far from it. Shinpachi on the other hand, looked more confused than anything else.

"Kagura, your brother tried to kill you back at Yoshiwara, have you forgotten that? He's not good for you, far from it! He's the captain of the 7th division for God's sake. They are the bad guys, we are literally on opposite sides!" Shinpachi cried out in alarm, his eyes wide in disbelief and anger.

She didn't know what to say, she didn't know what she could say. She started to sweat as she took a seat on the floor, sliding down the wall at her side.

"I-I... I didn't think," she whispered out with tears in her voice as she was dangerously close to breaking down.

"Wait, if your brother is here, then his fleet must be here as well," Sougo suddenly said, his tone cold as an icepick and his eyes calculating as he stared at her slumped form. "Did he tell you anything about his mission?"

He awaited her answer and Kagura wanted to kill herself. She had promised Kamui not to say anything about his reasons for being here... not that she knew that much to begin with. She knew she wasn't even supposed to tell anyone that he's here but that had flown out the window anyway.

"Well... I asked but-but he said he couldn't tell me anything, for all I know... h-he could be here by himself," she forced out between her teeth, blinking away treacherous tears and avoiding everyone's eyes.

"This is all really suspicious," Sougo said back and she could tell that he wasn't very happy with her answer. "For all we know, they could be planning something, I must tell the Shinsengumi about this," he concluded as he rose from his seat.

Sougo walked right past her and she couldn't help but to glance up at him as he went by. To her dismay, their eyes met and his were completely unreadable to her. It was like he was putting on a facade. The door slammed shut after him, loud and abrasive. As if he'd been full of repressed rage, she felt something break inside of her at the thought.

"Kagura," Gin-chan's voice roused her attention and she looked away from the door, to his grey eyes. "We need to talk," he said.

She nodded stiffly. "I need to shower..." she meekly said.

"Then shower, we can talk later but you're not getting out of this one sometime soon," he reminded her, his tone as cold as it had been before.

He left to the solitude of his bedroom, the door closing quietly behind him. Shinpachi looked like he wanted to leave as well. He seemed to torn, caught in some sort of turmoil, before he seemingly made up his mind or gave in. His eyes softened to her as he walked over to her sitting form.

"Kagura... please tell me everything is okey? We were so worried, that's why everyone is mad at you, they're actually worried. This brother of yours... he is dangerous and to be honest you don't look good at all, you look sick," he explained to her as he knelt down in front of her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Well..." she croaked out, "I did get food poisoning... but yeah, I understand Shinpachi, and I know it was a mistake. I won't do it again, I swear to you that I won't, I'm so sorry," she told him, trying not to sound so weak.

He stood up, offering her his hand. She took it and got up to her feet, giving him a small smile that did not reach her eyes. He returned it with one of his own before he turned around and went into the kitchen. She hurried over to her little room and picked out fresh clothes, before heading over to the bathroom. It was in the shower that she was hit with the realisation that she wasn't on the pill. Kamui has come inside of her and for a moment she was struck with complete panic as she hastily rinsed off the soap from her body and stepped out of the shower. If she remembered correctly, she was supposed to have some "day-after" pills left.

Some months back, Ayame had come by with some other people for a night of drinking. Everyone knew she was crazy for Gintoki and apparently she had expected to get him in bed with her, hence the pills she'd brought with her. It didn't go as planned though and she forgot the pills in their bathroom after she'd left their party in sour failure. Bending down, clad in only a towel, Kagura opened the cupboards under the sink and started rummaging around. Stuffed in the far end of everything, behind a couple of empty bowls, she found her target. A small pink bottle. She grabbed a hold of it and opened it up to reveal six pair of pills. Kagura sighed in relief as she swallowed one down with a mouthful of water from the sink. She felt truly lucky for the first time in weeks. She dried herself and brushed her teeth. She had picked out a long-sleeved Chinese style sweater that covered her neck as much as possible, with matching red pants. Anything that could cover as much skin as possible. Still, even with the clothes on... she had never felt more exposed.


	10. Chapter 9

**Authors Note:**

So hello again my lovely readers! In case you haven't noticed it yet, i've aged Kagura up from 15 to 16 in order for her to be at least 6 when Kamui left. I didn't really know what to title this chapter either and sorry if it's a rather boring one. There will be more action in the next one! Cya!

 **Chapter nine**

Bruises don't lie

 **Gintoki's Pov:**

Kagura was noticeably uncomfortable in front of him. Her hair was still damp from the shower, she had ditched the the two balls and settled for keeping it down in long curly ringlets. When she'd first gotten home, he'd taken note of the large bruises she had on her arms, although, her sleeves covered them up now. It made him wonder where else she had bruises. His eyes inspected her neck, at least what was visible of it, seeing as her collar covered up most of it. She turned her head little to the side and between her red strands, he caught a few discoloured patches at the edge of her collar. Gintoki couldn't help but feel the dread that enclosed him, dread, closely followed by rage.

"Why did you seek him out?" he finally asked, watching her twist around in discomfort like a worm.

"I had to," she sighed, looking at her hands. "If I didn't, I would have been a permanent threat to not only you and Shinpachi, but also to everyone else."

The samurai blinked in confusion, that certainly wasn't something he'd expected to hear. "Go on," he said, biting the inside of his cheek.

At least he looked calm from the outside.

"I've been suppressing my Yato instincts all my life, I've been actively going against my blood. The end result is what you saw in Yoshiwara. An outbreak on two separate occasions the same day. It is clear that anything you try to suppress only grows stronger and I see that now. I'm wasn't in control of myself and I endangered everyone around me in the process. Ever since that day in Yoshiwara, I've felt it lurk inside of me, my Yato blood, prowling like a cat and just waiting to strike once I'm under enough pressure or weakened to a certain point," Kagura explained, biting her lip, her voice hollow.

"There was only one person I knew off who could teach me control and I simply did what I believed to be best... My father isn't here to help me and Kamui offered to guide me in his place. He has actually helped me, he helped me quite a lot and I feel more in control now than ever before. It's all thanks to him," she finished as she glanced up at him, her blue eyes couldn't keep eye contact for very long.

He felt that she wasn't being completely honest, she was obviously leaving something out... he just didn't know what.

"That's understandable Kagura and I'm happy for you, I really am," he began, taking a deep breath. "But you can't see him again. I don't know how to tell you this but there is something deeply wrong with your brother, he's dangerous. I know you don't stand a chance against him, I know you're weaker than him and if he has the upper hand, I'm afraid of what he might do to you," Gintoki said, feeling as though he hadn't even scraped the surface of what he was really thinking about when it comes to her brother but he knew he should take it nice and slow.

Kagura's fist clenched and unclenched themselves. She opened her mouth before promptly closing it again, her lips thinned into a hard line. She looked like she wanted to argue with him and that only made his mood fouler.

"You put yourself at risk to the point of blind stupidity. The bruises you undoubtedly have underneath your clothes are proof enough. Kagura, whoever your brother used to be when you were younger, is not who he is today. I saw what he did to you in Yoshiwara, I still see it as clear as day. He's not good for you. You will only make yourself suffer if you keep chasing after him-" Gintoki continued but was cut off by an angry Kagura.

"I'm not chasing after him!" she snapped at him like a whiplash, her face red and her tone defensive.

"Good, keep on not doing that then!" he answered with an edge to his voice, not in the least convinced.

She frowned and once again clenched her fists.

"Was it him you saw the other day as well?" he asked with as calmly as he could muster.

"Yes..." she mumbled, closing her eyes.

Gintoki sighed deeply, irritation rose up in his chest like a volcanic outburst. "Don't lie to me again, Kagura. I mean it," he addressed, trying to keep his cool.

She stared up at him. "I won't."

He knew she wasn't being truthful but he didn't know what to do about it. She stood up from her seat at the floor. Taking one last look at him, she left through the door, sliding it shut behind her. He honestly didn't know what to do. He wanted to confront her brother because he had a feeling that Kamui would be more truthful than his sister. Picking up his jump, he tried to forget about it all but nevertheless, it stayed with him like a bad hangover.

 **Kamui's Pov:**

They had hidden their ship well, which actually wasn't an easy task. Deep within the forests of Edo, far from any nearby villages, by the creek of a big mountain, laid their vessel. It was beginning to grow dark and his men were busy getting drunk, or at least those that wasn't in the process of loading their precious cargos onboard. He watched with mild disinterest as a few of clansmen had started fighting for both entertainment and for betting money. A Yato tradition. It brought back old memories.

It reminded him of the fighting pits in slums, back at Rakuyou. Really, it had all started there. The stinky, smelly fighting pits, where drunks gambled away their pay checks on a good bloodshed, before going home and beating up their wives. The first time he was there, he'd been six years old. Kamui can't remember why or how he ended up in that part of the slums but he must have somehow wandered off. He witnessed people beating each other black and blue. Beating each other to death. Their faces would be swollen, crooked and bloody, teeth knocked out and limbs severed. The slums wasn't known as the nice part of Rakuyou, not that their home planet had any nice parts in the first place, to put it mildly.

In the fighting pits, one can be true to themselves, without any limits. No ethics, no morals, no rules except for in the case of cheating of course. It was the code of the survival of the fittest, a code that he lived by to this day. Kamui took a seat by a tree, leaning back on the rough trunk. He was still stuck in his own memories, as more and more details came to light. The part of slums where the pits laid would be clayey and dirty, constantly wet from the rain. The glade laid framed by old houses, trashcans and containers. The fighting pits would be in the centre, carved in the shape of several large squares, dug from the clay-covered ground.

Those that weren't drunk, were high, rarely on weed though, as weed doesn't fit the occasion. Cocaine was the real shit back in the day, it was hugely popular and still is, at least among his own clansmen. In the pits, a lot of fighting used to take place, even in the crowd of onlookers. He got caught in the crossfire, more than once but only suffered mild consequences. He learned how to fight in the those slums, those pits. Over time, he grew more and more daring and his ferocity increased with each visit. The first time he officially entered the pit, he was 8 years old and he'd wiped the floor his opponents ever since.

Kamui blankly stared as his men circled each other, snickering as they threw wild punches and kicks in hope of victory. More and more of his clansmen joined the crowd of onlookers and thus, blocked his view. He looked away and tried with all his might to stifle the boredom that was creeping in the shadows of his mind. It lurked about, trying to coax him into doing something rash and impulsive. He was struck with the fact that Kagura would be turning 17 soon, in about two weeks or so on the 3th of November. Should he buy her a present? Maybe... Oh yeah, finally he had something to do. Kamui stood up and adjusted his cloak around his shoulders before fastening his umbrella in its sheath. Maybe he could find something fitting in Yoshiwara.

"Hey Abuto, I'm going away for a while, call me if necessary," the redheaded youth said as he glanced over at the older man.

Abuto had busied himself with cleaning his umbrella. He looked up from his work with a tired look in his eye, like a true boomer.

"Going to see that sister of yours hm?" he asked his captain as he tried to make the handle of his parasol gleam with the damp rag. "Sort off, I'll tell her you said hi!" Kamui grinned, showing off his pointed teeth.

"Please don't," Abuto muttered as his captain swung himself up a tree and started to jump away, leaving him in charge.

 **Kagura's pov:**

She had spent the remainder of the day inside her room, only coming out to eat. She had just had dinner and told her two humans good night. She still felt ashamed of herself, much too ashamed to spend any real time with neither Gin-chan or Shinpachi. Sitting on her bed, Kagura stared blankly at the little pink bottle that stood quietly on her bedside table. With no sense of control, she picked it up and flung it across the room. It ended up in a corner somewhere, surprisingly with the lock still on.

Her shame had evolved into sadness, which in turn, morphed into bitter anger. Anger at herself, anger at Kamui, anger at the world. She clenched her jaw and gripped her bedsheets, hair nails, tearing small holes in them. She wanted to destroy things, to maim, to annihilate. Her sapphire orbs searched the room for something she could take her rage out on. She grew more and more vexed as she realised she didn't have many objects to sacrifice. The anger grew impossibly hot in her chest, it pressed against her ribs to point of pain. She felt like she had to scream her frustration out, she longed to sink her teeth and nails into something twitching with life. She ached to tear things to shreds and she started to stomp her foot, almost unknowingly so.

Kagura was happy she was in her room with the door shut and locked. She was happy no one could see her now. She hated herself, loathed how she lacked control even with Kamui's tips. She tried to remember what he'd told her. Hadn't he said something about breathing practices? She didn't know. She'd forgotten all about it. Suddenly, her slightly unhinged eyes zeroed in on the books she had on her shelf. Thrillers and romance novels, they didn't matter to her at all, she had read all of them. Standing up, she emptied out the shelf with one strong push, throwing everything to the ground. She ripped out the pages, and tore the books in two, stomped holes in them until the floor started to creek. She threw them against the wall by her bed and kicked them around the footballs.

Naturally the racket should have alerted Gin-chan and Shinpachi but the noise from the tv was too loud. They were probably watching anime from the sounds of it. Eventually, she sank down on the floor and broke down into tears, surrounded by what was left of her books. Kagura felt like she had failed herself, betrayed her own trust and hopes. She wanted to punch holes in the floorboards and set the entire room on fire. A corrosive loathing ran through her veins like acid, burning every fiber of her being. She doesn't know how long she sat there but she was awakened from her trance-like state by a tapping noise on her window.

She looked up, expecting to see a lost bird but found instead a pair of big blue eyes, staring back at her. Her heart jumped to her throat and she froze. Kagura knew she shouldn't see him again, she had promised her friends that. She couldn't bear to hold even more secrets from them, all the lies tore at her, little by little. Her eyes were still filled with fresh tears, trailing down her cheeks.

Kamui frowned at her behind the window, he sat perched on top of her windowsill. He knocked a bit harder on the glass and she was afraid that it would break under his touch. Most things did, including her it seems. She was deathly frightened by the possibility of anyone hearing his knock either way. Making up her mind, she crawled over to the window on all fours before rising up, a tad bit unsteady. She sniffed and unlocked the window, sliding it open. Kamui didn't even wait to greet her before jumping inside, escaping the rain.

"Why are you crying?" he asked her as she closed the window behind him, a bit too loud, a bit too careless.

"Shh, you have to whisper, they will hear you otherwise," Kagura hushed him, drying her eyes and cheeks with her red sleeves.

He was soaking wet from the rain, dripping all over her floor but she could hardly care. Her brother pushed the white package he'd been holding onto, into her hands. She looked at him with, confused. He answered her question before she had the chance to ask it.

"I won't be here for your birthday, so consider this an early present," Kamui whispered as he swiftly looked around her small room, avoiding her face.

Kagura didn't know whether to cry or laugh. She didn't even know what to feel. She felt everything at once. Happiness, love, sadness, confusion, frustration and adoration. She thought he didn't care about her but still... There seemed to be small bits and pieces of her old brother still left behind, despite everything. She felt like she'd grown closer to him the last couple of days, maybe closer than what was ideal but still, close enough. She wanted to analyse his behaviour but that might be a bit obsessive. She knew she would still do it later on anyway.

Still, without thinking, she threw her arms around him and enclosed him in a crushing hug. She became soaked with water from proximity but she didn't care. The cold made her gasp as she whispered out her thanks, overwhelmed by his scent. He smelled just like him. Another tear escaped her eye and she was powerless to stop as she hadn't even taken note of it.

"Kagura, the more you cry, the less willing I am to give you anything," Kamui almost hissed in her ear.

He sounded annoyed with her and she tensed in a distraught manner, she was back on square one. Back to being the annoying little sister again. Even so, despite all that, his arms creeped around her small form as he held her tightly. He smelled her hair ad she almost wanted to be crushed into nothingness against his broad chest. She doesn't know for how long they hugged but it wasn't long enough. Before soon, he let her go and took off his wet cloak and boots. She couldn't stop staring at the package in her hands, her eyes still wide in disbelief.

"Don't open it yet, do it when I'm gone instead, or wait until you actually turn," Kamui whispered, careful as to not draw any unwanted attention. Kagura nodded, mute. She put the package away on her desk. Her brother observed the mess on the floor, his feet avoiding the torn pages and bookbinders.

"What happened here huh?" he asked in a low tune as his foot pushed aside some torn pages.

"I needed to blow off steam..." was all she said as she craned her neck and looked up at him. He wore the same clothes he'd worn in Yoshiwara, when she'd first seen him. Looking away from him, she crouched down and started to gather up the ruined books. She put them away in her trashcan, reminding herself to empty it later. Feeling strangely tired, she made her way to the bed and sat down. Her brother followed after her and stood looming before her.

"You should've sparred with me instead," he responded as he knelt down in front of her, his hands, closing in on her thighs.

"I can't. I'm not allowed to leave and I'm not allowed to see you again," Kagura whispered out sourly, observing as he seemed to tense up, his fingers dug into her flesh like claws. She realised then, that she had promised not to tell anyone of his presence here... and now it was too late to take back her words. Fuck.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

A door could be a saviour

 **Kagura's Pov:**

She bit her lip, hard, as she anxiously took in Kamui's face. He didn't look happy with her, not even close. His hands pressed down harder on her thighs and she flinched under his grasp, her bruises hurt even more from such a pressure.

"You weren't supposed to tell anyone about me, Kagura. What exactly did you say?" he hissed at her, his eyes angry, his lips curled up in a snarl.

She turned her head away, tying to escape his furious eyes. His hand snapped up and took ahold of her jaw, turning her head back and forcing her to meet his demanding gaze.

"I'm- I'm sorry, i didn't want to lie anymore and they had to know why I suddenly disappeared the whole night without even contacting them. Gin-chan and the others stayed up the whole night, looking for me... but I didn't tell them anything about your supposed reason for being here and I didn't say that you had any men with you either," Kagura hurled out in one panicky breath, whispering in hushed tones.

Kamui didn't seem content with her answer. His lips thinned into a grimace as he roughly let go of her throbbing jaw. He looked away from her in frustration, his jaw still clenched into a sharp edge as he scoffed.

"Why is it so hard for you to lie sometimes, you could have just said that you got lost in Yoshiwara and fell asleep in a dumpster. That would've been more believable if you ask me," he growled out, his eyes zeroing in at her again. "It matters not, I have a feeling that I will be leaving this planet sooner than expected. I suppose the Shinsengumi knows about me as well by now?" he asked, his hands going up and down her legs, dragging his nails against them.

"Yeah," she answered in a low tone, staring at his hands. It became quiet between them and the only sounds that could be heard were the smattering from the rain against her window and the noise from the tv.

"Kagura, why were you crying?"

She sighed at his question, wishing she didn't have to answer it. "Because... I'm ashamed of what we did, I feel guilty for lying to my friends, I'm confused and frustrated, where do I even begin, the list just goes on and on," she tried to explain, her voice breaking in two.

She sounded so weak, she felt weak too and probably looked like it as well. Kagura would rather burn in hell than be like this in front of her brother, she would just prove him right and disappoint him in the process. She wanted to kick herself and her leg twitched at the thought of it.

"You are not weak Kagura." Kamui's words hit her like a lightning bolt and she froze in alertness, staring at him.

Had he just read her thoughts? How did he know? How is it even possible? "How-" she began but was cut off by his hushed, hoarse tune.

"You are easier to read than you think, you're like an open book to me," he whispered out, his hands stopped rubbing her thighs, leaving them warmed up as his fingers sneaked up through her hair.

He scratched her head and she shivered and closed her eyes. She felt at home under his touch, she felt like she could forget the whole world and play pretend that everything was right in the world. A small tear creeped down her shut eyelid and she jumped when she felt his lips on her cheek, catching the salted drop. He smelled of home and thus, she was struck with a bittersweet home-sickness.

"Don't do this to me..." she whimpered out, her voice trembling and pathetic. He kissed her cheek and his mouth traveled over to her ear as one of his hands left her head. It slowly went down her chest, to her tummy before settling in between her legs. Was he only here for that? No! No there had to be something more, he wouldn't have brought her a present otherwise.

"K-Kamui please don't-," she tried again as she felt his hand going inside her pants and sliding inside her underwear.

He bit her earlobe and sucked on it, his hot breath warming her up. He was still cold from the rain. She was afraid of doing anything, making any movements or any noise. She felt as if Gin-chan or Shinpachi would come charging in at any second now. His hand cupped her and two cold fingers found their way inside her. Kagura's breath hitched and she wouldn't open her eyes, couldn't open her eyes. She kept them shut until he eventually forced her otherwise.

 **Kamui's Pov:**

She was warm inside, warm and wet and tight. Just like she'd been before. He could feel himself growing hard and her apparent distress did little to quench his lust, if anything it only made it worse. He was still angry at her but he knew he couldn't show that unless he wanted a crybaby on his hands. Kamui knew his sister inside and out, literally. He knew what to say and when, even after such a long time away from her. Sure Kagura wasn't as weak as she'd once been but he knew he could make her weak, one way or another. He very much, liked this approach. The more heinous and perverse it was, the more fun. Fun always did soothe his anger and her begging only made him harder.

His lips left her ear and his hand fisted her hair in a tight grip. His eyes ate up the image of her pink lips as they parted in a silent gasp. Her teeth were white and illuminating, her tongue seemed wet and bright red as it licked her soft lips. He wanted to have those lips around his cock. He wanted to have her choking on him. Another tear streamed down her cheek and he couldn't help but grin.

"Look at me," he commanded, low enough.

She did no such thing and instead tried to shake her head as much as possible with his hand in her hair. His fingers curled into a hook-like position inside of her and her eyes snapped open in alertness. She looked like she would have screamed if she hadn't slapped her hand over lips. A muffled yelp came out as her eyes seemed to beg him to stop. He legs shook and twisted and turned on either side of him. The fact that her dear "friends" were but a door away made this all the more exciting.

His fingers left her pants and she gasped lowly. She immediately covered her face with her hands and he realised that she'd just came. My, she was fairly easy to please for being a female. Kamui thought it was only fair that she did her part to please him as well, now that he'd gone out of his way for her. He had even given her gift. Rising up to his feet, he leaned his knee on the edge of her bed and undid his pants. Kagura had just enough time to remove her hands before he grabbed her head and pushed himself inside her mouth.

A strained, muffled whelp left her throat, her eyes became so wide he almost expected them to pop out of her skull. She made a gurgling sound and saliva dropped down her lips as he pushed himself in deeper. He groan rose in the back of throat and his eyes rolled back into his head when her tongue circled around his tip.

"Bite me and I will destroy your life Kagura, starting with this room" he warned as he looked down at her, meeting the outrageous look she had in her eyes.

She only made more gurgling noises in return as her nails dug into his hips. At first, she tried to pull pack but he had an iron grip on her head as he drove himself deeper inside of her. After some time of struggling, she seemed to give in. He closed his eyes in blissful pleasure as she actually started to suck him like she would a lollipop. Her tongue snaked around him as her small head went back and forth, partly by his own hands and partly by her own willingness.

The walls of her mouth clamped down upon him as she sucked harder and his breathing became heavier and heavier. As inexperienced as she was, she was still good enough for him. Even so, he still wanted to fuck her, it was a part of the reason as to why he'd come here in the first place. He was as sex-driven as any other Yato male. Kamui didn't know how many times he'd hit the back of her throat but she gagged with each thrust. He sighed deeply as he eventually pulled out her.

She gasped for breath, holding her throat. His hands left her hair and she fell to the side in exhaustion, bouncing off the bed. Kamui barely gave her any time to catch her breath, he descended on top of her and ripped the red shirt in his attempt to pull it over her head. It fell to floor and was soon followed by her pants and underwear. She didn't wear a bra and his hands clutched both of her breasts, his nails scraping the hard nipples.

"T-this is wrong Ka-," she started to whisper into his neck as he entered her.

A sob left her mouth as the rest of her sentence collapsed in on itself. Her whole body tensed up and her legs hooked themselves around his waist. She gasped hotly in his ear, clawing at his shoulders as he rammed into her. If the bed moved, they sure didn't hear it, nor did they feel it. Kagura tried again and again to muffle her sounds, first in the crook of his neck and then by her own hand but none of it seemed to work for very long. He put his mouth over hers and she let his tongue stifle her moans and cries.

His hand gripped her bruised breast a bit too hard and she yelled into his mouth. She was so warm, so, so warm. He felt as if he might as well drown in her. She trembled all over as her walls clamped down on him, her muscles tightening as she came. She sighed, her chest bouncing up and down. His lips left hers and she gasped, breathless as he pushed himself deeper into her. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. He felt Kagura freeze under him, like she'd been turned to stone. Her eyes became wide and fearful. It didn't seem like she could look away from him. He wondered if the door was locked.

"Kagura? What are you doing in there?" he recognised the voice of the white haired samurai, her precious "Gin-chan" was it? He wondered what the expression on his face would look like if he knew what went on behind the door. The samurai his sister seemed to care so much about, probably cared a great deal about her in return. He almost wanted to make his presence known, almost.

"N-nothing much... just moving around a couple of things!" Kagura hurriedly said back, clutching his changshan like her life depended on it.

Kamui's lips thinned into a hard line, he would have smiled if he wasn't in the middle of something. He couldn't wait anymore and kept going, ramming himself into her once more. He was much faster now and watched with amused eyes as Kagura stared in barely contained fury at him, her face red and flushed. Her eyes seemed to beg him to slow down, disbelief and desperation leaking out of her like a punctured lung. The door handle turned as the samurai tried to enter and Kamui was struck with a sudden rage. He absolutely hated being interrupted. Overwhelmingly, by likes of that samurai, just who did he think he was?

He took out his anger on his sister's poor little body. His fingers dug into her and clawed at her skin, giving her more and more bruises. He could see that Kagura was struggling very hard to not make any weird sounds. He was nearing his peak but he wasn't quite there yet. Too bad he had to force himself to be quick, otherwise he would have taken his sweet time with her.

"Kagura, open the door!" Gintoki said behind the wood as he tried the handle again, he sounded incredible alarmed in Kamui's ears.

"N-no I cannot I'm naked!" his sister yelled back as she arched her back into him.

"Why? I thought you were redecorating your room?" The samurai said back, his voice was rather sharp.

"Well... I'm doing tha-that too b-but I'm also changing clothes, I-I'm multitasking," she hurled out, she sounded almost hysterical.

He drew a sharp breath, his nails digging deeper into her flesh. He came with a rough groan, his head stuffed into her neck. The bed moved under them with a noticeable "dunk". His voice apparently wasn't low enough as the samurai must have heard some semblance of it.

"Who was that?!" he shouted as he banged even louder on the door, it moved under the force of it.

Kamui breathed out, his face splitting into a wild excited grin. He had no time to waste. He acted swiftly, pulling out off her and redoing his pants. He didn't have time for much else as he kissed her hard on the lips, before leaving the bed. He put his boots back on and checked to see that his umbrella was still in its sheath. It was and without further delay, he slid the window open and jumped out. He took one last look at Kagura. She quickly pulled the sheet over her as she stared back at him, her eyes wide and angry. He smiled at her before sprinting away.

 **Kagura's Pov:**

Her eyes fixated on Kamui's shrinking form until it completely dissolved into the night. Kagura tried to catch her breath but Gin-chan was still banging on the door.

"W-what do you mean? There is no one here!" she screamed back at him, hastily finding her bathrobe and putting it on.

"Open this goddamn door now Kagura!" Gintoki screamed back and she had never heard him use that tone with her before.

She froze in fear before turning the lock and taking a step back as it swung open. She clutched the collar of robe as she met two pair of grey, stormy eyes staring at her in rage. Shinpachi could be seen in the background, his mouth hung open and his brown eyes looked rounder than ever before. She tripped to the side and clumsily sat down on her bed as Gintoki stormed inside, eyeing everything in sight, as if he was scanning the surrounding area for any sign of threat.

"Why is your window open?" he asked, accusingly so. She met his eyes and immediately wished she hadn't.

"It was hot, I just needed some fresh air," she quickly explained, not budging from her seat on the bed. Gin-chan didn't seem satisfied with her answer, not even a little bit.

"And whose that?" He pointed on Kamui's cream-coloured cloak and she felt horribly hot.

"It-it's mine," she defended but didn't get very far.

"Like hell it is! I have never seen it before!" Gin-chan nearly snarled at her.

"But it's true! I have lots of clothes you haven't seen before!" she tried again but it didn't look like he was listening.

"I heard someone Kagura, a man," he claimed, his eyes stone cold as he stared down at her, fists clenched.

"You obviously didn't hear correctly," she told him and was surprised by the coldness in her voice. That seemed to do something as Gintoki suddenly, almost violently shook his head.

"This is just stupid," he said, barely hiding his rising anger as he turned around and stormed out, slamming the door after him.

Kagura shakily stood up and turned the lock, listening to his heavy footsteps as he walked away. She heard the voice of Shinpachi but couldn't make out what he'd said. Shaking even more than before, she walked over to the window and shut it before returning to bed. She cried herself to sleep that night.


	12. Chapter 11

**Authors note:**

Hello guys! So, something I've noticed in the flashbacks of Kamui and Kagura's childhood, is the interactions between Kamui and his mother, for some reason I got sense that he just seemed deeply unnerved and irritable. Tbh the things both he and Kagura went through was pretty intense for children, not the ideal situation. So it's pretty interesting to play around with the effects of it, especially if you're into psychology like me. I want to flesh out their personalities and characters a bit. But nevertheless, the next chapters are going to be some flashbacks, at least I think that so far. I got some developing plans ahead.

Aight imma head out!

 **Chapter 11**

A familiar unfamiliarity  


Gintoki's Pov:

The clock was half past seven and he had barely slept. The only things he could hear was the snoring of Shinpachi in the other room. He had agreed to stay the night, no doubt anxious over Kagura's recent behaviour. His snoring didn't trouble him much, it was his own mind that had never been louder. Was he going crazy from all of this? It sure wouldn't surprise him. Kagura just kept on hiding stuff from him but he wasn't stupid. He had his suspicious and they had never been more convincing. Gintoki had heard his voice as clear as day. His voice, Kamui's recognisable one, had been low but still very much present. At first it had been a smooth, low tune and, he simply thought that she must've been on her phone but as he confronted her about it, he became more than a little suspicious.

He had clearly heard several movements behind the wooden walls, something moving around and slamming into something else. Kamui's groan had been ridiculously obvious and it all made sense. The open window, the cloak, the wet footprints he'd failed to mention to her... everything just became clear. It didn't help that Kagura had barely been clothed either. Her neck still laid covered in bruises and he doesn't know why he's still surprised at this point. But even so, seriously... there had to be logical reason behind it. It didn't have to mean anything... immoral. Still, in the depths of his mind, Gintoki had a terrible feeling about all of this. He feared the worse and didn't know what to do with that. He didn't know how to confront any of this, this sort of complicated stuff were out of his league. For all the things he didn't know, he still knew this; Kagura was too young, too inexperienced and too much like a child to even be in contact with someone like Kamui. Umibouzu has said as much when they had communicated, he should know best after all.

 **Kagura's Pov:**

The water streamed down into the soil of her little eggplant, soaking it. Apparently she'd poured a bit too much as the soil morphed into a muddy water that surrounded the plant like a small Lake. Hopefully it wouldn't drown. Putting away the watering can, she swallowed down her pill with the glass of juice she'd brought into her room. It was around 9 and Kagura had just woken up. Gintoki wasn't around, he'd probably gone to the comic book shop and Shinpachi had returned to his home to his elder sister. Not without sharing a breakfast with her though. It had been a quiet one but not an awkward one.

She'd actually helped with the cooking and burnt the rice. Needless to say, Shinpachi said that she could have all of the rice since he fancied not getting cancer... She'd laughed at that and proceeded to set the thing on fire just to see his reaction. His face had turned red as his glasses became foggy from the heat. Coupled that with his high-pitched and panicked shrieks, he had never looked funnier to her. Truly Shinpachi knew how to improve her mood.

Kagura emptied her glass as she stared up at the sky in boredom. She turned around to refill it back at the kitchen but something caught her eye. Kamui's present. The white box still laid on the table, untouched as she had forgotten all about it. The sight of it made her cheeks warm up and she told herself that it was merely the sun from her window and nothing else. Her finger itched to tear the box open and she couldn't find much reason not to it was an early gift and she needed some happiness in her life right now. She picked up the box and went over to her bed. Sitting down on the soft blankets, she slowly opened the lid, holding her breath. She'd closed her eyes along the way and was rather apprehensive of opening them again.

What if it was something terrible? Like a dead rabbit or something? No way, it would have started smelling right away. Her eyes creeped open as she inspected the gift. Her eyebrows raised themselves in surprise as her hands grasped the clothing that rested, neatly folded within the box. It was soft to the touch, it felt much like silk. She rose up from her seat, the box slid off her lap and met the floor in her hurry. She laid her gift out on the bed so she could see it more clearly.

It was a black cheongsam with slit sides, something befitting of a Yato. It was remarkably similar to the one Kamui had worn. In fact... it looked the same, almost. It had the same grey colour on its buttons and fasteners. The same dark blue cloth around its waist... the only difference was that this one had small swirling patterns sown into its black cloth. The patterns curled around like flames and they looked smooth and shiny as they were of a different fabric altogether. She noticed that the insides of cheongsam looked to be coloured in the same shade of blue as the belt.

Dark blue, like the deepest part of any ocean. It reminded her of Kamui's eyes. Why would be buy her something like this? He must have realised that it looked exactly like his own... but could that be why? Maybe he wanted her to wear something that could tie her to him for whatever purpose. A sign of belonging? Of ownership? Kagura's lips drew back in disapproval at the thought. She certainly wished it didn't have anything to with that but she wouldn't be too surprised if those were his underlying reasons. She knew Kamui was possessive and liked to leave his mark on things. Was she just another object to him?

No that cannot be... Kagura knew she shouldn't overthink like this. Once she gets going, there's nothing stopping her until she's literally overthinking her next step. Compared to Kamui, she was more of a thinker but just like him, she was more brawls than brains. It seemed to be a Yato trait... still, Kamui was rather good at math. Even so, Kagura had never considered herself as a deep-thinker or even remotely analytical. She was nothing more than an overthinking mess, governed by her rampaging emotions.

She knew it wasn't good for her to think so much and so the coming days, she did her best not to. Kamui never sought her out again and she never went out of her way to find him either. She couldn't even try, with everyone breathing down her back and watching her like a hawk. Kagura slowly returned to a normal life, or at least she pretended to. She teased Shinpachi, joked around with Gin-chan, sparred with Sougo, walked Sadaharu, met up with Soyo and went on errands with the Yorozuya. The ice slowly melted between her and Gin-chan, there were no awkward or uncomfortable silences anymore. Seemingly, all of her relationships went back to normal. It looked that way but it sure didn't feel like it. It still felt... like Gin-chan was hiding something from her. She didn't quite know what to do about that.

Days turned into weeks in the absence of her brother and she didn't know whether to be happy or sad. How could he just leave without as much as a goodbye? Had he even left her on his own accord? What if something had happened? Well, if something did happen, she would learn of it soon enough... it's not like Kamui can't handle himself. Her birthday came and went. A celebration was held in Yoshiwara, organised by everyone behind her back. She knew something was up when Sa-chan had wanted to take her out to the underground city for some shopping. They had rented an entire bar and that night had been full of festivities. Lots of food, snacks, sweets and alcohol she still wasn't allowed to touch because of her age. Kagura had almost spilled the beans on the fact that she had already been drunk before but managed to evade the slip up.

She had been so happy that night, they had all danced until their limbs ached all over and she had laughed until her chest hurt. Still despite all that... despite all that happiness and joy. She could still taste the bitterness that Kamui had left behind. She could smell her own disappointment and feel her own grief. He had just gone off without a goodbye... and she didn't know how to handle it. Kagura wasn't angry with him... it was like she had out-grown anger. No, she was more sad than anything else.

A creeping melancholy that came with a heart-wrenching confusion. It stirred in her chest, slithering around like a snake. A snake full of contempt, sorrow and frustration. After a month of ignoring that snake... she finally gave in and admitted to herself, that she missed him. She missed him so much, so strongly that she wasn't quite sure what to do with herself. Still, she did what she could to fill the void. She even touched herself more frequently, nearly every night... if she wasn't too tired. At first, she'd tried not to think about him at all but that hadn't lasted long.

Especially when she still had his cloak, which still had his strong scent on it. The cloak could now be found somewhere amongst the sheets in her bed and she wished it'd gotten there by accident. Kagura truly did. The shame and guilt that weighed her down, felt like a noose around her throat. This wasn't going to end quietly. She was only half-right about that. The next time she met Kamui was the night before The Yorozuya was supposed to begin their mission of transporting and protecting the 14th Shogun, Tokugawa Shige Shige.

The clock must have been around 2 or 3 and she couldn't sleep. Kagura had been awake and aware, for some ungodly reason. She had been on edge the entire day and it hadn't even gone away during the night so she did what any sensible person would. Masturbate, to ease her tense muscles and never ending brooding. His cloak had been in her bed that time too but this time she didn't just let it be. It was dark and quiet all around her, the only sound she could hear was Gin-chan's snoring. The cloak was soft under her touch, soft like cotton. She wrapped her legs around it and buried her nose in the cream-coloured texture, breathing in the smell of smoke mixed up with the individual scent that could only be described as her brother. A heavy, masculine odour that filled her with warmth between her legs. With the cloak, still snaked around her bare legs, she sneaked her hand down and started touching herself.

Kagura presses her head even deeper into his cloak, as if she was burying her head in the sand. Anything to forget who she was and what she was doing. The pleasure helped her to forget, the pleasure from her fingers, pumping in and out of her. A welcomed distraction from her harrowing thoughts. Her breathing was too loud for her to really make out the sound of a window, sliding open.

 **Kamui's Pov:**

To think that he would walk in on this scene out of all possible scenarios... wasn't something he had expected. Needless to say, he wasn't complaining. Kamui had a hard time describing his sister as either beautiful or sexy or even hot. Even though, she was obviously all of the above and more. Still, it somehow felt wrong to think of her that way, the words didn't fit her. Simple words like that were made for the shallow whores of Yoshiwara and the no-brain amanto bimbos of the nightclubs, not her. Never her.

Kagura wasn't just any female, she was a Yato of his own flesh and blood and so, such words couldn't really do her justice. It felt wrong to associate her with such easy labels... Yet, those were the only things that came to mind as he took in her soft curves. Her hair was loose and it laid splayed out around her head in disarray. She rested on her side, completely nude and turned towards him. Her face laid pressed into -what he at first glance believed to be a blanket- but upon further inspection turned out to be his very own cloak. Her luminous, white legs were tightly wrapped around it. Her hips rocked into her hand, her fingers going in and out of her like a machine. Kamui didn't know what to do with this as he slowly and silently closed the window behind him. His eyes could only be described as intense as he took in the pretty picture before him. Yes, it was very pretty indeed. He should take a picture.

Kagura suddenly lifted her head from his cloak, although her eyes remained shut. She opened her mouth and bit down on the cloth as she rolled over on her back. Her chest couldn't seem to stop moving as she arched her back on the bed, her feet, digging into the mattress. He dragged his blue eyes all over her body, from her pink nipples, to her legs, to her private parts and up again to her flushed face, contorted in a focused pleasure-seeking. Her gasps and moans were muffled by the cloak in her mouth. He honestly felt like he should take a picture. He didn't get the chance to though. She shuddered as she came. Her whole body shook as her teeth let go of his cloak and a small sigh left her lips. No doubt, she was keenly aware of not making too much noise. Wisely so. Her samurai was snoring in the other room.

Kagura rolled over on her side again, her blue eyes opened up and looked right into his own. The now-still hand between her legs immediately snatched up his cloak as she covered herself. Her oval eyes were wide with shock and her mouth hung open as if she dearly wanted to shout something. What came out was a silent scream and then, a whisper.

"Kamui!" she blurted out, a bark and hiss at the same time.

"That's me," he gingerly answered, checking his pocket for his phone, luckily it was in its place. Of course she couldn't shut up for one second...

"What are you doing here? Where the fuck did you go? You didn't even say bye!" she bombarded him as he came closer.

As a consequence, she moved further away from him, clinging to his cloak as if that would shield her from him. She could be a quite funny one. Kamui towered over her and she pushed herself up against the wall, staring up at him with those big blue orbs of hers. She looked so vulnerable, too fragile to even touch.

"I'm just here for my cloak... among other things," he snickered at her and as quick as a viper, ripped the thing off her. She burned red in embarrassment and he thought he could spy small tears at edge of her eyes. Kagura was an expert at looking helpless, even when she wasn't. He leaned down and took ahold of her face. She turned her head away from him and so, he simply forced her to look at him.

"I'm not interested, Kamui..." she whispered out as he knelt down on her bed and brought her face closer to his. He stroked her forehead with his own and dipped his nose into her red locks. She smelled vaguely of cinnamon. Breathing her in, he pushed her head against the wall as she tried to get out of his grip once more.

"Liar, liar pants on fire. I saw what you were doing Kagura and i didn't know you liked my cloak that much, have you missed me?" he croaked out as he slid his right hand down her exposed chest.

She stiffened at his touch and stayed silent, biting her lip like there was no tomorrow. A strained gasp left her as he gripped her breast hard, kneading it like it was dough. Maybe he should be nice to her? Soften her up a little bit... It was a bit like roleplaying and sure, he could play nice when she needed something soft and gentle. Kamui observed her troubled face. Her cheeks were blooming red, her eyebrows creased themselves into a frown and her lips looked ripe like a fresh fruit. He could play nice for now, but he knew he couldn't keep the facade up for long. After all, he didn't know how to be nice in bed.

He kissed her and devoured her sounds of complaint, muffled her meek yells with his teeth and tongue. His hands creeped over her body, he wanted to feel all of her. He wanted to mark every inch of her warm, soft flesh, he wanted to ruin her and spoil her so that no one else would spare her a glance. Kamui wanted everyone to know it as well, if he ever had shame in his system, it was long gone by now. He wanted her two dim-witted samurais to know that she belonged with him, he wanted it to be as clear as the sun on a summer day. It didn't take long for him to have her exactly where he wanted her.

 **Kagura's Pov:**

She laid pressed down on her stomach, he had a firm grip on her hair and another over her mouth. All the horrid little sounds she made, were muffled by his flesh. Her groans and moans, her shrieks, yells and screams of pain. Sex only seemed to hurt at the start but before long, the pain evolved into pleasure. A painful pleasure, an uncomfortable one... but pleasure nonetheless. She loathed herself for being so weak. He had just showed up out of nowhere and given her such a fright that she thought she might as well jump out of her skin. The humiliation she'd felt when he mentioned his cloak... surely he'd seen everything. Kagura had never been more disgusted.

He continuously slammed into her, harder and faster as time went on. She became louder and louder with each thrust and his hand clamped down on her further. The bed moved under them and everything seemed so impossibly loud that she was surprised that Gin-chan hadn't woken up by now. She couldn't do anything, she felt helpless, utterly hopeless against her brother. Weak... he had made her weak. Kamui still had his clothes on and she was nude. Kamui was on top of her and she laid beneath him. Kamui was the stronger one, he had the upper hand and she... she was only Kagura. He was the dominant one in this game and she was the submissive subject.

His hand let go of her hair as his nails dug into her jaw. He picked her up and sneaked his hand around her waist. She came a second time and desperately gripped his arms, she needed to hold onto something. At the beginning, he had been so gentle with her. He'd been almost nice. She'd been given soft kisses, gentle touches, soothing caresses and he'd even scratched her head as if she had been a pet. He'd held as if she was something he had to take care of, something worth protecting. It had all made her quiet. Quiet and confused. But she basked in his attention nonetheless. All of sudden though, as if someone and flicked a switch, he changed.

The nice Kamui evaporated, leaving behind the true nature of her brother. He bit her, clawed at her flesh, choked her and was generally rough with her. Were she a human, she would've broken in two. It started to feel as if he was angry, like he was taking out his fury on her easily-bruised body. Kagura suddenly knew that this was different, something was off. He was too quick in his movements, he was too quiet. It didn't feel right. It felt as if he was the predator and she the prey. Like a cat playing with the mouse before devouring it. She couldn't see his eyes as he threw her around like a rag doll. He was everywhere at once and his clothes felt very warm, almost as warm as his mouth.

He tore at her hair and pushed her head against the wall, she was motionless. She felt petrified, she didn't know this person. This couldn't be her brother... no way. His hands burned her but despite all of that, with each hard, marring thrust, pleasure bloomed inside of her. Pleasure born out of pain, it flourished in her like an ever-growing garden. It kept on building up, as he drove himself into her faster and faster. His teeth sunk themselves into her vein and she screamed into his hand. Trembling, she fell to side with him on top of her. Crying, as she came again, hard. She felt like the room was spinning, he wasn't slowing down.

Kagura tried to move her arms but they laid trapped beneath her and the massive weight of her brother. She tried to shout at him, to tell him to slow down but her cries fell on deaf ears as his hand kept her jaw in place, sticking to her lips like a second skin. She could only lay there, caving in and arching her back into his moving hips. A growl seeped out of his mouth. His chest seemed to vibrate with the sound and his hot breath blew right past her ear. He finished with a few hard thrusts before he almost collapsed on top of her, sweaty and muscular.

His hand left her mouth began tracing her body. He braced himself on the other as he rose up and explored her body, touching her white skin. The only sound around them were her heavy pants, as she laid pressed down into the bed, frozen. Stunned. Her loins and rear hurt like hell, like how her hips ached, much like the pain in her neck. She didn't need to look down and inspect her private parts to know that she was bleeding. Something wet ran out of her, soaking the already soaked sheets. She didn't hear the click of the camera, the creaking noises from her bed was too loud, the sound of her own breathing was too loud. Kamui's silence cut into her like knives, his silence was too loud to bear. Everything was too loud and she needed to sleep.


	13. Chapter 12

**Authors Note:**

Hey guys! I'm back from the dead, finally, with a helper this time around! Kiriva have been helping me alot with this chapter and it wouldn't have come out this good if it weren't for her suggestions, ideas and advice! Honestly, i fear this chapter would have been pretty bland if she didn't lend me her aid so kudos to her for that! This chapter is going to be a flashback, along with the next two. Just a head's up!

 **Chapter 12 **

Flashbacks of rainy days

Rakuyou, 14 years ago:

"Don't bully the weak" he'd said. "Grow strong" he'd said. His father's words rang more shallow and hollow with each passing day. He grew sick of them. His father offered no explanation, no nothing. He wasn't bullying anyone, if anything it was he who was being bullied. The kids of the slums, were endlessly on the prowl for trouble. They scoured the marketplace for someone to victimise, someone they could beat up and exploit.

Kamui was justified in defending himself and putting them in their rightful place, at his feet. It was especially necessary when he had a 2 year old strapped to his back, he needed to protect Kagura when his father fell short of even that simple duty. To "Grow strong" couldn't possibly mean that he was supposed to let himself get beaten up, could it?

Kamui didn't like to be treated like a child, especially so, since he was the acting man of the house. He didn't like how his father wouldn't take him seriously, when he did everything his father failed to do around the house. He took up all of the responsibilities after mother's sickness worsened. He cleaned, shopped, washed the dishes, took care of Kagura and did the (often bloody) laundry. He took care of their mother as well. He didn't even know what kind of sickness she had. After the birth of Kagura, Kouka had been completely bedridden, only getting up for short amounts of time.

His father wasn't being honest with him, he never got a straight answer whenever he asked about his mother's condition. "I'm working on it" was all he ever said, with a wide variety of words but it all meant the same thing. Kamui hated being kept in the dark, for all the shit he took each day, he at least felt worthy of the truth. All he knew was that it was very serious, that much was obvious from what he'd seen.

He knew it all too well, the soft, meek moans of pain that disturbed the silence during the nighttime. The pained sound of his dying mother, lying awake in torment. He wouldn't go to her. He heard her straining to try to muffle her coughs and gurgles, a hoarse, sickly sound. She sounded broken, dysfunctional and yet, he still couldn't bring himself to go to her

It was like she had the plague. His unwillingness to go anywhere near her, really came to light on one fateful afternoon a month back, after creeping in the shadows for some time before. It had always been there, lurking about in the background.

He had walked in on her, slumped on the bathroom floor, a shaking mess. Blood was everywhere, it was the very scent of it that lead him to the bathroom door. She couldn't stop vomiting the red liquid and Kamui had been frozen. He had never seen that much blood before. She had been white as a sheet, her skin, discoloured in a pallid sheen. She looked blood-less and impossibly thin. She reminded him of mishandled crepe paper, near translucent.

Somewhere along the way, his calloused fingers had found the side of the door. The wooden surface complained in long, jarring creeks as it broke apart under the pressure of his hand, cracks splitting out from left to right. The sudden urge to slam the door in his mother's pallid face came without warning. However, the sound of a drowsy and confused "onii-chan?", caught him off guard. His head turned around like an alert hawk as his gaze zeroed in on his sister, standing timidly in the darkened hallway, leading to his room. He acted swiftly and without looking away from her big, worried eyes, he swung the door shut with a loud, definite, bang. Kagura just repeated herself, biting at the sleeve of her red pyjamas.

He walked over to her, ignoring the coughing noises that came from their bathroom.

"You should be asleep, rabbit," he flatly stated as he scooped her up in his arms.

"What's mami doing?" her childish voice rang out, squeaky like a mouse and clear like little bells. She sounded soft and meek and oblivious. Innocent.

"She's just coughing, nothing to worry about," he told her, his nose pressed into her red hair, taking in the smooth texture and the soapy scent. Kagura's smell stood out like a lighthouse compared to the blood-filled odour coming from his mother. A stark difference, she smelled like something fresh and alive, ripe like a fruit. Her scent could at best be described as cinnamon with a touch of saffron and clean soap. She would sleep in his bed tonight. He didn't want their mother near her, afraid that she would leave her smell all over the toddler.

"-b-but what if she needs water?" Kagura stuttered out, sleeve still in her mouth.

"I will give her some, but I'm going to tuck you in first," Kamui, muttered out as he put her down on his bed, enclosing her in his fur blanket, like a cocoon.

Her chubby cheeks were a tad bit pink as her heart shaped face gleamed up at him. Illuminating in the blackness of his room. He let his fingers trail down her scalp before poking on of her cheeks. They were just as soft as they looked as well as warm, circulating with youth. Her eyes reminded him of round pools of rainwater that clad the muddy streets of the slums.

"Sleep," he said to her, even though it was hardly needed as she was slowly nodding off by herself. He kept his hand in her hair, until he was certain that she was very much in deep slumber. Only then did he leave her side to fetch that damned glass of water.

Ever since that night, the smell of his mother's blood never really left. The smell of it wouldn't stop haunting his steps. He could feel it in the air around their little house. The scent never dissipated, it hung heavy in the air. It weighed him down more, the closer he got to his mother. A clear, iron-laden smell that reminded him of something decaying, dead meat, like a butchery at the end of a hot day. His mother smelled of death and as much as he tried to wipe it off her skin, or wash it out of her hair-it remained. So in the end, he stopped trying. There was nothing he could do about it. He was like his father, useless. Kamui soon realised that his mother didn't expect him to do anything about it either. Kouka only wanted him to prioritise Kagura, and worry about her as little as possible. Sure, he could play pretend and obey the household rules. Sure he could.

In the end, he got used to the smell that seemingly, only he could sense. Although, he knew he had a pretty good nose, above average for their kind. He was happy that Kagura still smelled of Kagura, he was glad that she hadn't been blessed with the same nose as he had. Like the child she was, she smelled of something soft and soothing, like warm milk and honey. She loved that combination, especially in the evenings.

And so, he stayed away from his mother, as much as possible, kept Kagura close. Although, it wasn't achievable all the time, he didn't want her to suffer even more, so he tried to be subtle. Little by little, bit by bit, he found himself growing more and more moody by each day. His foul mood built itself up inside of him, pacing around like a great, restless wolf inside his chest. He kept it chained down and subdued In the eyes of his mother, for the sake of his sister. But as soon as no one was watching him, he lashed out.

It had started with breaking random objects but he knew that wouldn't do for long. Hurting himself didn't quite seem to quench his rage either. So, when he had the chance, he went out hunting. He was only eight and in the end, his hunt brought him to the fighting pits. Finally he had something he could sink his teeth into. Finally, he had something he could conquer, something he could devote his time to and spend his energy on. Finally, he had something he was good at, something he could be the best at.

Sure, he wanted to dearly go after the bullies who threw rocks at him and called him a sandbag... but in that regard, he stayed rather passive. For the most part. In some sense, he still wanted to appease his useless father, at least, he still wanted to look like the dutiful son. But alas, the footsteps of his father, the footsteps he wanted to follow in, were fading further and further away. Soon, his path too lacked meaning, just like his words.

Life turned out to not have much meaning either. He only ever found meaning in taking it. Years went by and that wolf inside his chest, grew larger and larger. It grew from a wayward pup into a vicious beast. It feasted every time he spilled someone else's blood. It was insatiable, it yearned for more, ever hungry for suffering, for a fight, for blood. Kamui developed a bloodthirst that followed him around like a ghost. His young eyes, morphed into that of a predator and people weren't just people were prey.

It was all a game to him and the wolf was his playmate. He embraced the Beast. That wolf wanted to play with Kagura many times, especially as she grew older. Many times, it very nearly reared its head at his sister and tried to make a toy of her. Toy because of her size and supposed frailty, she wouldn't put up much of a fight, she'd just get thrown around. It could be the small moments, like when she would accidentally display a surprisingly sturdy grip around his neck as she held him. Or, when she'd take out some scum that tried to put his hands on her without his help. It didn't happen often, which made it so special. He'd be struck by the fact that she too, inherited the Yato blood. She, like him, was composed of the genetics of the strongest man in the universe. He would wonder if her small body could handle his new found hobby.

But Kagura was the only thing in his world that didn't carry the stench of blood. So he kept the wolf at bay around her, as much as he could of course. But, sometimes when he'd playfully bite her plump cheeks, he'd find himself biting a little too hard, only noticing when she'd let out a little squeal. He'd pull back with haste and look into her eyes. Spheres of cerulean innocence brimming with tears. No. The games he played on the streets of Rakuyou, were not for her. He played a different game with her. A game where he played the role of the gentle, loving, infallible brother. The caretaker that would keep her childish, keep her comfortable, keep her sheltered, keep her innocent. He played the role of a big brother that looked after her, when no one else could.

That game was enjoyable even though it could be taxing at times. Kagura, although generally warm, and bubbly, and adoring, was still a little girl. She had her bouts of bratiness, tantrums and tears. It took a lot out of him not to raise his hand to strike her at these times. But Kagura always managed to throw him off, all doll-like prettiness, and defiance in her teary eyes. Following a tantrum, usually within an hour of him opting to give her the silent treatment, she'd crawl into his lap, or follow him around the kitchen-desperately trying to draw his attention to her. She'd try tugging at his clothes and hair first, still somewhat upset with him. If that didn't get a rise out of him, and he never let it, she'd pout, and change tactics. She'd cling to him tightly and sob apologies into his chest, promising to be a good girl. He reveled in these moments. Her need for him, not just as a basic caregiver, but as an essential part of her happiness, made him feel powerful...and loved. He'd pepper her face with kisses making her giggle, throw her over his shoulder and carry her off to indulge whatever whim she had that threw her into her fit in the first place.

He was her whole world, her best friend and she would do anything to please him, he knew that. At times it calmed him, and thus, made the wolf quiet with comfort. When he took care of Kagura, in some twisted way, it felt like he was taking care of himself. So it drove him mad when something happened to her, something that wasn't of his own making.


End file.
